INVADER QUINN - Season 03
by Anguirus1955
Summary: Despite setbacks for both Quinn and Stacey, the two females continue to plot against one another in an attempt to control the fate of the Earth. Meanwhile, both females must also endure new allies and enemies, including a long-forgotten threat from the past. Prepare for Invader Quinn Season Three!
1. On The Dating Habits Of Humans

**INVADER QUINN**

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV

Invader Zim is property of Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom

* * *

Episode 025/3-001: On The Dating Habits of Humans

* * *

Date: Monday, February 16th, 2098

 **Lawndale High School...**

"No! NOOO! You'll pay for this," Miss Bitters said into the phone. "Well, students, despite my moral outrage, Principal Li is allowing you all to celebrate Valentine's Day today," Miss Bitters said to her class with clear distaste in her voice. "So, hand out your Valentine meats and chocolates now, before they spoil," she added.

Quinn watched with fascination as most of the class erupted into cheers and hollers of excitement. "That doesn't mean any of you get to make out on the desks! You two, pull apart now! Save that for when you get home, and then you can get yelled at by your parents," Miss Bitters said as she glared at Sandi Griffin and Jamie White.

* * *

"Well, STUDENTS, since VALENTINE's DAY was on Saturday, this means that YOU are ALLOWED to celebrate it TODAY!" Anthony DeMartino said to his history class. _Stupid Angela! She should have allowed them to celebrate it on Friday, since that date was closer, but nnnoooo! Angela is too busy counting the money from another mandatory in-school chocolate sale to plan anything that would actually benefit the students! Bitch!_

"So, go ahead and HAND OUT your various PUTRID LOVE MEATS and OVER-PRICED SYNTHETIC CHOCOLATE PRODUCTS!" DeMartino said, his left eye bulging. "Mr. DeMartino, did you ever have a valentine?" Brittany Taylor asked him.

DeMartino frowned. "Once. I don't like to talk about it. It ended badly," he said. "Oh, that's sad," Brittany said. "Excellent observation," DeMartino snarked. "Thank you," Brittany chirped.

Jane nudged Daria in the elbow and handed her a small box. Daria looked at her and blinked in surprise. "Here, for being my first real friend," Jane said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Oh. Um, okay," Daria said as she discretely took the small box and put it in her jacket pocket. "Thanks," she whispered. "You're welcome," Jane whispered back.

"Also, Daria... Mystic Spiral has a gig at The Zon tonight. I could really use the company," Jane said to her. "Sure," Daria replied. "Thanks. I could handle it by myself if it's on a weekend, but on a school night, I have to make sure that I can get to bed on time, just so that I can wake up late enough to get to school at the last minute," Jane explained.

"Truly, you are the greatest planner in the world," Daria snarked with her usual flat tone. Jane smirked at her. "Of course," Jane said with a false haughty tone. "Now, class, perhaps I should go over the LONG and DISTURBING history of VALENTINE'S DAY for everyone. I guess I'll start by explaining when the whole LOVE MEAT tradition began," DeMartino said with a sadistic grin.

* * *

Quinn looked around at the various humans in the hallways of Lawndale High School as she passed them by on her way to her next class, which was Mr. O'Neill's class. She shuddered to think of how he might behave on this day of "love" expressions. She noticed the how the many males attempted to be the chosen love pig of certain females.

When she entered the classroom, she was delighted to see that Mr. O'Neill was in a subdued mood, meaning that he would be mostly tolerable this class period. After the bell rang and the rest of the class took their seats, Mr. O'Neill began outlining a project for the class. "In essence, all of you will be required to be work on a multi-media project. It can be about any subject that interests you, but it must include the required media elements of sound and imagery," Mr. O'Neill said as he turned to look at the class.

 _Sounds easy enough_ , Quinn thought to herself. "You will all have until the end of the week to work on this project, and on Friday, you will all be required to show us your project for evaluation by both myself and your peers," Mr. O'Neill said. "Oh, and while I don't _want_ to stifle creativity, I do think it is probably for the best if each presentation stays under five minutes in running time," Mr. O'Neill suggested.

"You can also work on this either by yourself or with one of your fellow classmates as a partner," Mr. O'Neill said. "So, I will give you all the rest of the class period to begin outlining the details of your project and its subject matter. In the meantime, I'm going to sit behind my desk and wallow in self pity-I mean self reflection," he said before doing just that.

 _Hmm, I suppose that studying the mating habits of the humans could make for an interesting project. Studying their reproductive methods and rituals could possibly give me insight into how to conquer them through subtle means_ , Quinn thought to herself. She glanced over at Stacey, who was busy writing something.

 _Interesting. Her behavior seems to have changed since last week. She almost seems un-bothered by the harassment her peers had subjected her to last week_ , Quinn noted mentally. _I wonder... has she perhaps found a love pig of some kind? No, her peers have made it abundantly clear that they feel nothing but scorn and annoyance towards her_ , Quinn thought to herself before she began writing notes down for her project.

* * *

 **The Zon, After School...**

"So," Daria began as she helped Jane untangle the cords of the amplifiers, "With Mr. O'Neill's multimedia project, I guess we'll have a somewhat more interesting assignment than usual." "Maybe, but the question is just what do you choose for the subject? What do we make it about?" Jane asked in response.

"We could make it about how Mystic Spiral fails to comprehend logic. Ice Box woman makes people leave the club. That doesn't mean they like it and that you should sing it again," Daria replied. "Trent constantly fails to understand that, but I think they're singing a different set of songs today. Max wrote a couple of them, and they actually have more than one verse," Jane said.

After getting the rest of the equipment set up, Daria and Jane made their way down to the main floor of the club. "Should we leave now and come back later, or should we stay the whole night?" Daria asked Jane. "Eh, as long as I'm able to get to bed and wake up without being too late, it doesn't matter," Jane replied.

As Mystic Spiral began testing their equipment on stage one last time, Daria noticed a young man around her age. He looked somewhat out of place in the Zon, especially since he was wearing a sweater that looked far too clean for the usual patronage of the club. He noticed Daria and gave her a small smile and a brief wave.

"So, maybe we could head over to Pizza King instead, possibly think about an idea over-hey, Dar, are you listening to me?" Jane asked her. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm listening," Daria said. "Really? How fast did I say the car was going in my story?" Jane asked her. "Um, pretty fast," Daria replied. "Ah-ha! I never mentioned a car, and I wasn't telling a story either," Jane said.

"Dammit," Daria muttered as she saw the boy slowly make his way over to them. "Oh... a new friend?" Jane asked her. "Hello," the boy said. "Hi," Daria replied hesitantly. "Um... I'm Tom," he said as he held a hand out. "Uh, Daria," Daria said as she took his hand and gently shook it.

"And I'm Calamity Jane, the fiercest artist in the west!" Jane added with a grin. "Really? How quick are you at drawing?" Tom asked her humorously. "Depends on my mood," Jane replied with a smile. "So... do you girls come here often?" Tom asked them. "Well, not really, but my brother is the lead singer of tonight's main band," Jane said.

"Oh. Uh, what are they called again?" Tom asked. "Mystic Spiral," Jane said. " **Hello! We're Mystic Spiral, but we're thinking of changing the name,** " Trent said into the microphone as he prepared to play their first song of the night. "Don't worry, he says that all the time. Sometimes, I think that last part might actually be part of the name," Jane said.

"That's quite a long name," Tom joked. " **Who shot the hippies? Who locked them in a zoo? Who gagged the beatniks? Who filled their mouths with glue? Who crushed the bohos? Who turned their work to poo? Hey, Mr. Normal, it was you!** " Trent and Jesse sang into the microphone.

"Wow, they suck," Tom said with a grimace. "Yeah, and this is one of their _better_ songs," Jane said. "Is this one of the ones that Max wrote?" Daria asked. "No, this is an oldie," Jane replied. "So, Tom," Daria said, "I don't think Jane or I have seen you around here before. Are you new to Lawndale?"

"No, I live here. I just... go to a different school than Lawndale High," Tom replied. "That explains it. He doesn't have that weariness to him that you'd find from someone who goes to a school run by Principal Li," Jane said. "Is that a good thing?" Tom asked. "Well, what school do you go to?" Daria asked him. "I... go to Fielding," Tom replied hesitantly.

"Fielding? You mean that upper-class prep school?" Jane asked. "Um... yeah," Tom replied somewhat uncomfortably. "So, what's a prep boy doing in a place like this?" Daria asked him, curious. "I figured I'd sample a bit of something normal. Why, you think a prep boy like me only goes to places that are upper crust or fancy?" Tom asked in return.

"Well, it certainly doesn't fit the image of a popular prep boy from a fancy school," Daria replied. "Huh? Popular... you know, you really shouldn't judge a book by its cover, Daria," Tom replied with a smirk. "Oh, really?" she asked him. "Yeah. And besides, I'm not that popular," he said. "No?" she asked him.

"No," Tom replied with a smirk. "So, you're an outcast?" she asked him. "I wouldn't go that far," Tom said. "I'm just... another student, to be honest," he added. "Just a face in the crowd of uniformed sardines?" Jane asked snarkily. "That's one way of putting it," Tom said. "So, do you girls like convertibles?" he asked them.

"Do you mean sofas or cars?" Jane asked him. "Cars," Tom replied. "Hmm, why? Do you have one?" Jane asked him. "No, but the roof of my car is rusting through pretty well. I could probably fool someone far enough away if I tried," Tom replied. "Really? Well, we've _got_ to see _this_ ," Jane said with a smile.

"We do?" Daria asked her. "Sure. Besides, it might give some ideas for a new painting or two," Jane replied. "Oh, are you an artist?" Tom asked her. "Yeah," Jane replied. "What about you, Daria?" Tom asked. "Huh?" she replied. "Jane's an artist, so what about you? Are you an artist, or do you have a different passion?" Tom asked her. "Well, I do like to write," Daria said with a shrug. "Neat. What do you write?" Tom asked her. "Um... stories," Daria said.

"Cool. What kinds of stories?" Tom asked her. "Um, fiction. Spies and mystery," Daria replied nervously. Jane raised an eyebrow at Daria's behavior. "That's neat. Got anything published or are you just starting out?" Tom asked her. "I've been writing for a while, but I don't have anything published," Daria replied.

"Oh. Nothing that's finished, I guess?" Tom asked her. "I've got plenty of things that are finished," Daria replied. "Cool," Tom said. "So, have you thought about publishing them, perhaps? I mean, how many finished stories do you have? You could probably collect them into an omnibus type thing, I guess," Tom said. "Um... well, I... I just..." she trailed off, not sure how to express her feelings on seeing her work potentially being rejected by a publishing house.

" **Hey, Mr. Normal, it was you!** " Trent sang one last time. The crowd then cheered as the band stopped playing. " **That was our first song. Our next song is Electric Cowboy. After that, we'll be taking a break before the second set begins,** " Trent said into the microphone.

"Do you think Trent knows that they're cheering because he isn't singing anymore?" Daria asked Jane. "Eh, there's a slim chance," Jane replied with a shrug. "But, I don't think that he cares, as long as he gets to keep singing and doing what he enjoys... even if he does kind of suck," Jane continued.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," Jane said before walking away. She was half-way to the ladies restroom when she saw a small green dog buying drinks from the bar. "No, no that is just... how the hell does that even happen?" Jane asked herself in confusion as she saw GIR drinking at least five different beverages at once before handing money to the bar tender and asking for more.

"But, wait a minute... if GIR's here, then where is Quinn?" Jane asked herself as she looked around the club. Seeing no sign of Quinn, she decided to head into the bathroom, closing the stall door and locking it as soon as she got in. "This night is getting too weird," Jane mumbled to herself as she dropped her pants and sat down on the toilet.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base...**

Quinn walked over to a terminal. "Computer! Please gather data regarding human dating behavior. I believe that this may provide me with a key to possibly conquering them, especially if learning about their reproductive habits can help me discover a weakness," Quinn said.

" **Affirmative. Beginning data retrieval,** " The Computer replied. Images were soon shown on the screen. "Hmm... that heart symbol does not really hold any resemblance to an actual human heart," Quinn noted. "So... holding hands... eating together... finding common interests? Dancing... watching movies together... intimacy... naked wrestling?" Quinn pondered.

"Computer, please retrieve as much information as possible on each specific subject that has been presented to me. I want it to be thorough," Quinn said. " **That may take at least an hour or more, Quinn,** " The Computer replied. "In that case, you should get started now, instead of trying to delay," Quinn said. " **Affirmative.** "

* * *

 **Back At The Zon...**

"You know, you're a pretty good dancer, for a robot," Jane said to GIR. "Thanks!" GIR chirped in response as he danced on the floor. He began spinning around before performing several break-dance moves. "Doo-dee-doo! Doo-doo-dee!" he sang. "Wow, that actually sounded better than most of Mystic Spiral's songs," Jane commented.

Meanwhile, backstage, Trent clutched one of his hands over his heart. "Hey, Trent, what's wrong?" Jesse asked him. "I... I don't know," Trent replied, out of breath. "I felt... a disturbance... as though our music had been... insulted," Trent said. "Whoa," Jesse said softly. "So? People insult our music all the time," Max commented. "They do!?" Trent gasped in shock.

"Oh my god!" Trent rasped out as he fell to one knee. "Whoa, Trent!" Max said as he and Jesse knelt down and patted Trent on the back. "I think I'm gonna, like, throw up or something," Trent said before he fell face first onto the floor and started snoring. Jesse and Max stared at him for several minutes before shrugging their shoulders and heading down to the bar.

Both of them saw a large crowd gathered near the dance area. Walking over, they both saw Jane dancing with a small green dog. "Whoa, that dog's got skill," Jesse said. "Yeah. Wait... how did a dog get in here in the first place?" Max asked. "I dunno," Jesse said with a shrug.

* * *

"Um, what are we looking for out here?" Andrea asked Stacey as they rummaged through the back of an old bookstore. "This," Stacey said as she looked at the pile of strange books laying on the ground. "Some old books?" Andrea asked her. "Not just any books, but spelldrives. I've read about these things," Stacey said as she picked one up. "According to resources within the Swollen Eyeball, these things have the power to grant various requests and cast magical spells," Stacey explained.

"Um... okay," Andrea said. "Agent Mothman said he once had a small collection, but he'd used them all up within a month," Stacey said as she began to collect the various spelldrives into a pile. "Right. So, how do you know that they work?" Andrea asked her.

Stacey opened one up, showing Andrea that it was actually a strange type of computer. "Um, it looks like a laptop with a fancy outside appearance," Andrea said. "That's how they stay hidden," Stacey said. "Come on, Andrea. Most people these days don't care much for books, so if they hear about a magical computer that can use magic, they'd probably go searching for something that looks like a tower or a laptop, not a book," Stacey explained.

"Fine, whatever," Andrea said with a sigh. "Now, let's get these babies put away," Stacey said as she opened up a large suitcase and some backpacks. "Why do I get the feeling that this is going to bite us in the ass one day?" Andrea asked herself.

* * *

Date: Tuesday, February 17th, 2098

"So," Jane began as she and Daria walked to school together, "I didn't see much of you last night after we helped Trent and the others pack up." "Well... Tom drove me home in his car," Daria said. "Anything else happen?" Jane asked her. "Not really. He said hello to my mom, and then he used his rusted death trap to return to his natural habitat," Daria replied.

"How rusted _is_ his car?" Jane asked her. "Eh, it might last another month of usage before it falls apart, leaving him stranded in the middle of the road as he sees a large semi-truck barreling towards him," Daria replied. "Impressive. Maybe I can use that image for a new painting," Jane said.

"You have to actually see the car to know what it looks like," Daria said. "Then let me join you on your next midnight drive with him," Jane replied. "So... what was up with you and GIR?" Daria asked Jane. "Oh, the robot? I don't know. He just entered The Zon and started dancing," Jane replied.

"Quinn wasn't with him?" Daria asked her. "Not that I could see," Jane replied. "Really? If I didn't know any better, I'd think of that as being weird, but I-what was that?" Daria asked as she saw movement up ahead. "What was what?" Jane asked her. "I... I thought I saw something. I think it was a dog," Daria replied.

"What kind of dog?" Jane asked her. "I don't know. It was large and black. That's all I could make out before it disappeared," Daria replied. "You sure it wasn't your imagination?" Jane asked her. "I don't know. Maybe," Daria said thoughtfully as she and Jane continued walking to Lawndale High School. As the duo passed a corner and walked across the street, a large black dog watched them from another street corner. It slowly kept pace with them until they reached the high school, after which it turned around and began making its way back to its owner.

* * *

Quinn looked around at her classmates, trying to decide which ones to use for her latest experiment. _Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie are always following Sandi and Tiffany around, but that means any display of affection by them towards the females won't necessarily be a sign of the serum. They already display obvious affection towards Sandi_ , Quinn noted. _Perhaps that Lucie girl who brought us that lice plague? What about that Anna girl? Billy Horvits or Vance Conway?_

Quinn saw that Stacey was looking at her questioningly as she scanned the classroom for targets. _Stacey. Ah yes, dear annoying Stacey Morgendorffer. Now, who to use as the second subject?_ Quinn's eyes soon fell on someone else who annoyed her. _Oh yes, definitely_ , she thought deviously.

"Ahem," Miss Bitters said. The students all turned to look at their teacher. "What? I only said 'ahem'. Go back to your pitiful social interactions," Miss Bitters said in an annoyed tone with a raised eyebrow.

* * *

In the girl's locker room, Quinn carefully retrieved both vials of the serum from her PAK and made her way around to where Stacey's locker was located. Stacey was just pulling up her gym pants when Quinn walked past her. Stacey stared wide-eyed at Quinn. "Oh, hello there, Stacey. I certainly hope that we all have a pleasant gym class together," Quinn said woodenly.

"What are you up to?" Stacey asked her. "Me? Up to something? What would _ever_ give you that idea?" Quinn replied with false shock. "Stay away from me," Stacey said with a warning as she finished pulling up her gym pants and began putting on her sneakers. _How do I throw her off her balance? Oh, I know_ , Quinn thought to herself.

"Say, nice legs," Quinn said. "W-What!?" Stacey replied, startled. She lost her balance and nearly fell over before Quinn caught her. "G-Get your hands off me!" Stacey snapped at Quinn. Quinn withdrew her hands and held them up in a defensive posture. Several of the other girls made their way over to see the source of the commotion.

"I was merely trying to help you," Quinn said. "Just keep your hands off me," Stacey hissed at her. "Of course," Quinn replied before turning around and walking away. As she walked past Sandi, who was currently putting her gym shirt on, Quinn quickly patted her on the back. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sandi asked her. "You aren't popular enough to touch me."

"I'm so sorry. I just... wanted to know what popularity felt like," Quinn lied. "That's understandable, but don't do it again," Sandi warned. "Of course not," Quinn said with a bow before she quickly made her way over to the entrance of the girl's locker room to wait. "See, Sandi? I told you that everybody wants you," Tiffany said. "Of course. Who could possibly resist me?" Sandi replied. "Uh... Stacey?" Tiffany suggested. "Well of course Stacey would resist. She's into aliens and ghosts and stuff. She's weird," Sandi said.

"Yeah. Weird," Tiffany agreed. After the gym teacher called for all of the girls to head to the gym, Sandi saw Stacey walking behind some of the other girls. As they made their way into the gym, Tiffany noticed something odd about Sandi. "Um, Sandi, I don't mean to be rude, but..." Tiffany whispered, "Why were you looking at Stacey's butt?"

"What? I wasn't looking at her butt," Sandi whispered back. "You weren't?" Tiffany asked her quietly. "No. She just happened to be far enough away from me in my line of sight that it only _looked_ that way," Sandi explained. "Oh. Sorry," Tiffany said.

"Okay. Everyone start out by running two laps around the gymnasium," Coach Walrus called out. The boys and girls began jogging around the perimeter of the gymnasium. Sandi began to feel something strange inside of her as she saw Stacey jogging up ahead. She gulped as she felt a blush rise to her cheeks.

Eventually, Sandi was able to make her way just a few feet behind Stacey, and that was when Quinn noticed that her serum was working. It wasn't noticed by anyone else except Tiffany, who first saw the way Sandi was staring hungrily at Stacey's rear. As Gym class continued, both females began to notice Sandi becoming somewhat aggressive towards anyone who got too close to Stacey, while Stacey was confused by Sandi's behavior.

* * *

At lunch, after gym class, Tiffany and Sandi sat down with Tori Jericho and Brooke. Quinn carefully studied Sandi's behavior from afar. _Now, to play the waiting game. I want to start using the serum on the other humans so badly, but I have to make sure that the serum lasts longer than 24 hours. If it does, then I can start using it on a larger scale by the weekend, and after I spread it throughout the continent, the humans will be so preoccupied with fornication that they won't be able to focus on anything else, and they will be ripe for conquest_ , Quinn thought to herself. _Their most basic instinct to ensure their continued existence will soon become the source of their downfall. I am_ _ **brilliant!**_

Meanwhile, Stacey glanced over at Sandi now and then, noticing that the other girl was continually staring at her. "Um... Stace? Is there something going on between you and Miss Popular over there?" Daria asked her sister. "That's just it," Stacey said. "Ever since gym class, Sandi's been acting really weird around me, and I can't figure out why. I mean, I haven't said or done anything to her at all, and yet she keeps watching me like a hawk," Stacey replied.

"Huh. That _is_ kind of weird," Jane said. " _Kind of?_ " Stacey asked her. "Well, okay, _really weird_ ," Jane said. "Are you sure it isn't just _regular_ weird?" Daria asked with a hint of humor in her voice. "Heh. Regular weird," Andrea said with a chuckle.

Meanwhile, at the table seating the Fashion Club, Tiffany had noticed Sandi's lack of attention to their current conversation. Brooke and Tori had both become engrossed in a discussion about winter sweaters and spring sweaters, but Sandi had been almost silent, when usually she was the one who dominated their conversations. Tiffany knew that something was up, especially when she saw Sandi looking out at the rest of the cafeteria.

"Hello? Sandi?" Tiffany asked her friend. "Huh?" Sandi replied. "You've been, like, staring out into space for a while now," Brooke said. "I have?" Sandi asked. "Yeah. Are you okay?" Tori asked her. "I-I'm fine. I'm just... scouting the lunch room to see who might be in dire need of a fashion makeover. There are so many people here who lack proper color and fabric coordination," Sandi replied.

"Like, that is so depressingly true," Tori said with a frown. "Yeah. It really is," Tiffany said in agreement. Brooke looked over at where Sandi's line of sight had been earlier. "Yeah, I see what you mean," Brooke said as she looked at the table seating Daria, Jane, Andrea, and Stacey.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base, After School...**

"Skoodge!" Quinn shouted as she opened the front door and saw him eating pizza on the couch with GIR. "Y-Yes, Quinn?" Skoodge replied. "I shall require your assistance this evening with a most delicate experiment," Quinn said as she stuffed her disguise into her PAK. "Of course. Right away," Skoodge said as he took one last slice of pizza out of the box and devoured it.

GIR leaned over and looked behind Quinn, who still hadn't shut the door. He saw a large black dog off in the distance. GIR waved a hand a smiled. "Hi, doggy!" GIR exclaimed, causing Quinn to turn around with wide eyes and gasp as she realized that she had forgotten to close the front door. She quickly slammed the door shut.

"GIR, Skoodge! Why didn't you tell me that the front door was still open!?" Quinn shouted at them. "Sorry," Skoodge mumbled. "Come on, we have work to do!" Quinn declared as she walked over to the trash can in the kitchen and hopped inside.

Skoodge walked over to one of the windows and looked outside. He saw a large black dog outside, just near a street corner. The animal stared at the house, and Skoodge could have swore that he saw the animal's eyes flash red for a few seconds. A strange mixture of curiosity and trepidation filled Skoodge and he pondered the creature's actions.

"Skoodge! Get down here now!" Quinn shouted as she lifted her head out of the trash can elevator. "Right away!" Skoodge said as he turned to look at Quinn. He glanced back outside and saw that the animal had disappeared. "That's strange," he muttered. "Now, Skoodge!" Quinn roared. "Y-Yes, Quinn!"

* * *

 **The Morgendorffer Residence...**

" _-And this means that we'll be receiving anywhere between two to four feet of snow this weekend when Winter Storm Horace hits us,_ " the weather woman said on the TV. "Oh joy, another blizzard," Stacey muttered before she turned off the TV and began working on the final three problems of her math homework.

An hour later, she was about to go upstairs to work on her multi-media project, but a knock at the door caught her attention. Stacey walked over to the door and looked through the peephole to see who was outside. "What the-?" she whispered to herself.

Stacey opened the door and saw Sandi Griffin standing outside. "S-Sandi? What are you doing here?" Stacey asked her, confused. "Oh, uh, I was just wondering... um, you and your sister are both, like, brains, right?" Sandi asked her. "I guess," Stacey replied. "Well, um, I was wondering if, you know, you could, like, help me with my project for Mr. O'Neill's class?" Sandi asked her.

"Uh... are you asking me to... work with you on a project?" Stacey asked her carefully. "Um, well, I like, had this idea about winter fashions, but Tiffany told me... something, I guess," Sandi said. Stacey raised an eyebrow at the other girl's behavior. Sandi usually seemed far more composed than this, and she rarely ever asked someone for help in a direct manner in public.

"You aren't playing a prank on me, are you?" Stacey asked her. "No," Sandi replied. "Hmm, okay, I'll help. I guess. So, how far along are you on your current project, and what is it about?" Stacey asked Sandi as she invited her inside. "It's nice and warm in here," Sandi said with a blissful smile. "Yes. Yes, it is," Stacey said flatly. "Now, um, what are you doing for your project, and how far along are you?" Stacey asked her again.

"My what?" Sandi asked her. "Your project. For Mr. O'Neill's class? That you asked me to help you with just now?" Stacey replied. "Oh, um... that. Yeah, uh, what about it?" Sandi asked her. "What is it about, and how far along are you?" Stacey asked her a third time.

"Um... well, I have, like, an _idea_ for it," Sandi said. "You haven't done anything at all, have you?" Stacey asked her. "No," Sandi replied sadly. "Well, I'm already working on my project, so I guess we can work on mine together. Of course, you have to put in your share of work," Stacey said as she led Sandi upstairs.

* * *

"This is a spelldrive," Stacey said as she showed one of the old machines to Sandi. "Um.. it's a book?" Sandi asked her. "It _looks_ like a book," Stacey said. "But... Ta-Da!" She opened the latch to show that the spelldrive was a laptop. "See? It's actually a portable computer system that uses magic," Stacey explained.

"See, each drive contains at least one hundred spells and an equal number of reversals, but each spell requires a certain amount of energy, and each drive has an indeterminate amount of energy in it. I have each drive labeled, such as S-01, and S-02, and so on," Stacey explained as she booted up her desktop computer.

"I already have a slideshow with several paragraphs and photographs of the drives, and I just need to add some video of one of them in action to really make my project complete," Stacey said with a grin. "Um... right," Sandi said as she stared at Stacey's chest. Stacey had taken off her black jacket and was wearing a black T-Shirt. "Now, unfortunately, I haven't found a way to recharge any of them yet, so I've only been using the spelldrives to do research on their spells. But, once I can find a way to recharge them, I'm going to start casting spells and stuff in no time!" Stacey exclaimed.

"Um... what if a spell backfires or you misread it?" Sandi asked her. "Um... I guess I'll just use the reversal spell to counteract it," Stacey said with a shrug. "Oh. Okay," Sandi said in reply, fidgeting as she tried to control herself. As Stacey turned around and bent over to pick up a box, Sandi felt her control slipping.

* * *

"So, I was thinking about painting a large metallic bird, one that's also part car or something, flying away into the sunset as the people wave to it," Jane said. "Well... that _is_ a neat idea," Daria commented. "But... I've never paid much attention to cars, and I'm not sure what kind of car to make it," Jane said with a frown. "Well, you could always-" " _Sandi, get off me!_ "

Daria and Jane whipped their heads around and looked at the door. "Did Stacey say... Sandi?" Jane asked. "I think she did," Daria replied. "When did Sandi get inside your house?" Jane asked her. "More importantly, _why_ is Sandi inside my house?" Daria asked.

" _Daria! Jane! Someone, help!_ " Stacey cried from her room. Daria and Jane quickly sped out of the room and through the hallway. "Stacey, what's-" Daria's jaw dropped when she saw Sandi Griffin pinning Stacey to the ground, trying to pull Stacey's clothes off. "Don't be afraid, I won't bite... much," Sandi said salaciously. "Stop! Stop! Get away from me!" Stacey cried as she tried to push Sandi off of her.

Daria rushed forward and grabbed Sandi, with Jane helping her. "Get off my sister!" Daria snapped at the girl. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that no means no!?" Jane asked as she restrained the girl. Daria quickly ran over and knelt down by her sister, who was now curled up into a ball, sobbing.

"Jane, get Sandi properly restrained," Daria ordered. Jane nodded her head and forcefully dragged the younger girl out of the room with her. Daria turned to look back at her crying sister. "Stacey?" Daria asked her. Daria put her arms around Stacey brought her into a hug.

* * *

"So, what do we do with her?" Jane asked Daria as they circled Sandi, who was tied to a chair in the kitchen. "Well... we _should_ call the police and report an attempted rape, but something about this doesn't seem right," Daria said. "Of course it doesn't seem right. Miss Popular here just tried to molest your sister," Jane commented. "No, I mean this whole thing seems wrong. Why would Sandi even _want_ to do something like this to my sister?" Daria asked.

"Because she's popular and she gets whatever she wants," Jane said. "But... she already has the Three J's, and as long as I've been in Lawndale, Sandi has never displayed any signs that she's capable of something like this," Daria said. "That's as long as _you've_ been here, Daria. I've lived in Lawndale my whole life," Jane said.

"Okay, and has she ever shown herself to be capable of this before now?" Daria asked her. "Um, I don't know," Jane replied. "You don't know?" Daria asked her. "Well, I've never really interacted very much with her," Jane explained. "But what made her snap like this?" Daria asked herself. "Well, Stacey did say that Sandi was acting weird after Gym class," Jane said.

" _During_ and _after_ , but not _before_ ," Daria said as a thought struck her. "Jane, we need to find out if anything unusual happened during or before gym class," Daria said. "From who, Stacey?" Jane asked her. "No. Sandi," Daria said. She turned to look at Sandi, who seemed to have calmed down.

"Uncover her mouth," Daria said. "Yuck!" Sandi spat after Jane removed the dinner cloth from around her mouth. "Okay, why did you try to molest my sister?" Daria asked her. "Huh?" Sandi asked. "Sandi, why did you assault Stacey?" Daria asked her. "I-I don't know. I just... I couldn't help it! Ever since gym class, I've been feeling this... feeling towards her!" Sandi cried.

"Okay, what about _before_ gym class?" Daria asked her. "Um... nothing," Sandi replied honestly. "Did anything unusual happen during gym class today?" Daria asked her. "Well, _before_ gym class, while we were in the locker room, there was this commotion. Stacey had yelled at Quinn not to touch her, and then a minute later, Quinn patted my back because she wanted to know what popularity felt like," Sandi replied.

"Wait... _Quinn?_ " Daria asked her. "Uh-huh," Sandi replied. "And you started feeling strange after Quinn touched you?" Jane asked her. "Yeah. Hey, Quinn must have, like, injected me with something when she patted my back! But why?" Sandi asked her. "That's a question for another day, but at least we know you aren't doing this on purpose," Daria said.

"Does this mean I can go home?" Sandi asked. "Not yet. First, I'm going over to Quinn's house to ask her how to reverse the effect of whatever she did to you and Stacey. Jane, I need you to stay here and keep an eye on them," Daria said as she made her way over to the front door.

"Keep both of them away from each other until I return," Daria said before she closed the door behind her. "Sure," Jane replied before she turned back to look at Sandi. "Um... can I, like, have a glass of water or something?" Sandi asked Jane. "I'll go find a sippy cup," Jane said.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base...**

"Yes," Quinn said with a grin. "Once this has been synthesized, I can begin pumping it into the human's food and water supplies. Earth will soon be mine." " **Warning. Proximity Alert! Someone's at the door,** " The Computer announced. "Show me!" Quinn demanded.

A video monitor descended and showed Daria knocking at the front door. "Oh, it's that Daria girl," Skoodge said. "Yes, but what could she... uh-oh," Quinn said with a gulp. "Um, is something wrong?" Skoodge asked her. "Skoodge, I need you to stay down here until I return. I will deal with this loathsome parasite by myself," Quinn said as she walked over to an elevator and stepped inside.

When she entered the living room, she saw Daria tying the arms of the robot parents in a knot before scowling at her. "Oh, how embarrassing!" Robo-Mom said. "Honey, you really need to make new friends," Robo-Dad said. "Hello... _Quinn,_ " Daria said menacingly. "Uh... hello, Daria. Is there a reason that you are assaulting my robot parents?" Quinn asked her in reply.

"They were annoying me," Daria said. "I see. So, why are you in my house?" Quinn asked her. "Don't play stupid, Quinn. I want an antidote to whatever you put in or on Sandi and Stacey today. I want it now, or so help me, I will make you regret ever being hatched or engineered or whatever the process was that made you," Daria said darkly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Quinn lied. "Sandi came over to my house a little while ago and _sexually assaulted_ my sister because you injected her with something. Give me something to reverse it," Daria demanded. "If I refuse?" Quinn asked haughtily. "You won't," Daria replied with a smirk. "Oh, I won't? Really?" Quinn asked her. "Really," Daria said.

"And, tell me, why is that?" Quinn asked her. "Because I convinced GIR to give me the access codes to your base and a full list of override codes for your defenses," Daria said. "You're bluffing!" Quinn snapped. "Oh, am I? You know, GIR was at The Zon last night. He was all by himself, and he can be very easily persuaded when given food," Daria said.

"C-Curse yoouuuuuuu!" Quinn roared. "The antidote. Now, Quinn!" Daria demanded. "F-Fine! I'll go make one for you," Quinn said as she turned around. "Hold it! I'm coming with you," Daria said. "W-What!?" Quinn cried as Daria stepped onto the elevator next to her. "I'm not stupid, Quinn," Daria said as they descended into the lab.

Both females stepped off of the circular pad and saw Skoodge staring at them. "Another one?" Daria asked. "Um... hi," Skoodge said with some uncertainty in his voice. "Don't mind him. He's just an inspector sent by The Tallest to monitor my mission's progress," Quinn said. "Um... okay," Daria said. "Ahem, Skoodge, um, Daria here needs an antidote to that serum I accidentally exposed to her sister and another female before it was ready," Quinn said.

"Quinn, you exposed _deliberately_ it to them," Daria corrected her. "I, um, I-" "Cut the crap and just make an antidote already," Daria said. Skoodge saw the fear in Quinn's eyes as Daria took a step towards the female Irken. Interestingly, Daria and Quinn were both very close in height, although Quinn's antennae rose above Daria's head. _This girl could probably intimidate a Tallest, despite her height_ , Skoodge thought to himself.

Quinn turned away and immediately began working on synthesizing an antidote. "Skoodge, help me with this. The faster we work, the faster we can finish," Quinn said. "Right," Skoodge said with a salute. Daria watched both of them carefully.

* * *

Jane held a picture up to Sandi. "Now, what do you think of this picture?" Jane asked her. "It's a picture of a car next to a mailbox," Sandi said. "Uh-huh. Okay, now, what about this one?" Jane asked as she showed Sandi another picture. "That's a bicycle leaning against a fence," Sandi said.

"Okay. Now, what about this one?" Jane asked. "That's the first picture," Sandi snapped. "How are you so sure?" Jane asked her. "It's the same car next to the same mailbox," Sandi said as she glared at Jane. "Right. Now, what about this picture?" Jane asked.

"That's the second one again!" "Okay, now what about this one?" Jane asked. "That's the first one again!" Sandi exclaimed. "Hmm, what about this one?" Jane asked. "That's the-oh, that's a cone of ice cream," Sandi said. "Yes, Sandi. A _cone_ of _ice cream_ ," Jane said firmly.

* * *

Quinn held a vial of serum out to Daria. "This is the antidote?" Daria asked her. "Of course it is! You just watched us make it," Quinn retorted. "Okay. How do I apply it to them?" Daria asked Quinn. "Just rub some of it on their backs or arms or wherever. It isn't immediate, though, so give it a little bit of time," Quinn said. "And if it doesn't work?" Daria asked. "It _will_ work. I am Quinn, and everything I do is guaranteed to work flawlessly," Quinn replied. "Right, but if it doesn't work... I'll be back," Daria said with a warning tone.

Quinn watched silently as Daria made her way to an elevator and ascended. "Whew!" she exclaimed as she turned around and leaned against a table. "Um... why exactly did we agree to her demands?" Skoodge asked her. "A small price to pay for peace of mind," Quinn replied. "She scares you, doesn't she?" Skoodge asked her. Quinn raised an eyebrow at him. "... Yes," she replied reluctantly.

* * *

"Okay, I have the antidote, and I-Jane, what are you doing?" Daria asked her friend after she entered the house and made her way into the kitchen. "I'm drawing," Jane said as she showed Daria her sketch pad. "I see. Anyway, I have the antidote, so all I have to do is apply it to Sandi and Stacey's skin," Daria said as she opened the cap on the vial and smeared some of the serum on her finger.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sandi asked Daria as she approached her. "I'm curing you of that stuff Quinn put in or on you," Daria said. "Hey, unpopular people can't touch popular people," Sandi said. "You tried to touch my sister," Daria said. "That's because of the stuff that Quinn put in me!" Sandi retorted.

"And this stuff will make it go away, so that you never get those urges around my sister again," Daria said. "Sandi, this is for your own good," Daria added as she smeared the serum on Sandi's arms. "Now, I'm going to go apply this to Stacey," Daria said as she made her way over to the stairs.

As soon as Daria entered Stacey's room, she saw the younger girl sitting on the bed with her legs pulled up and her chin resting on her knees. "Hey, Stace. I have something that I need to apply to your skin," Daria said as she put some more serum on her finger and reached for her sister. Stacey's eyes widened at the sight of Daria moving closer, and she shifted away.

"Don't touch me!" Stacey pleaded. "Stacey, I need to put this on you. It's the antidote for whatever Quinn put on you and Sandi," Daria said. "Did you say... Quinn did this? _Quinn_ caused this to happen? That green-skinned bitch!" Stacey roared. "Calm down. I have to apply this to your skin or it won't work," Daria said as she grabbed Stacey's arm and began smearing the serum her sister.

"There," Daria said as she reattached the cap to the vial. "I'll be keeping this somewhere safe, just in case," Daria said as she put the vial in one of her jacket's pockets. "Daria... did you beat up Quinn for me?" Stacey asked her as she sat down on the bed next to her. "No. I did threaten her, but otherwise I didn't do anything," Daria replied.

"How did you get her to make an antidote?" Stacey asked her. "I threatened her," Daria replied simply. "With what?" Stacey asked. "I told her that Jane and I had managed to persuade GIR into giving us a list of her base's access codes and defensive override codes," Daria said. "D-Did you really?" Stacey asked her. "Indeed, I did tell her that," Daria replied as she put an arm around her sister.

"No, I meant did you really get those codes from GIR?" Stacey asked her. "Let's just leave that a secret for now," Daria said. "Oh, come on! I could really use those the next time I break into her base," Stacey said. "Sorry, but if I _were_ to give you any such codes, you'd just get yourself caught again," Daria replied.

"Fine," Stacey said with a sigh. "Okay. Jane and I are gonna go untie Sandi and send her on her way. Do you want to come downstairs?" Daria asked her. "No. I'd rather stay up here until it's time to go to school tomorrow," Stacey replied tiredly. "Okay. I'm gonna stop by Jane's place quickly and then I'll come back home. I'll see you after I get back," Daria said as she got up and walked out of Stacey's room.

 **Two Hours Later...**

"Hey, Stace. I'm back," Daria said as she stepped into Stacey's room. "What took you so long?" Stacey asked her. "Oh, I just had to make a quick stop somewhere on the way back from Jane's place," Daria replied. "Okay," Stacey said.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base...**

"It's gone! It's all gone!" Quinn cried out in dismay. "Skoodge, where are you!?" Quinn cried out as she searched her ruined lab. She had left the base alone just long enough to make a quick run to a general store for some water jugs. When she came back, the lab was in ruins, and Skoodge was nowhere to be found. Quinn walked over to a closet and opened the door, revealing Skoodge, bound and gagged on the floor.

Removing the gag from his mouth, Quinn asked him what had happened. "That girl! She came back, entered the lab and just obliterated everything! I tried to stop her, but she was stronger than she looked," Skoodge explained. "But where is the serum!?" Quinn asked. "She used one of the de-atomizers to destroy all of it," Skoodge said.

Untying Skoodge, Quinn walked around her damaged lab until she saw a note lying next to a terminal. She picked up the note and read it aloud. " _Dear Quinn, this is a warning. If you ever do something like this to my sister again, I will make you suffer. I will plunge you into a nightmare world from which there is no return. Do not fuck with me. Love, Daria Morgendorffer_."

"Daariiaaa! Daarriiaaaa!" Quinn cried out in anger. "Curse yoouuuuuuuuuuu!" Skoodge stepped back quietly into an elevator and made his way upstairs while Quinn continued to agonize over her most recent setback. " **Cuuuurrrse yooooooouuuuuuuuuu!** "

* * *

Ending Theme: Cyberbird, by Gabriela Robin/Yoko Kanno.

* * *

Here it is; the first episode of Invader Quinn Season/Section 03. A word of warning, though, as the third season/section will be a little bit darker and a bit more dramatic and angsty in areas than the majority of the previous two seasons/sections.

Also, the next episode deals with Stacey testing out the spelldrives and accidentally cursing Daria.


	2. Magical Pork Eater Daria

**INVADER QUINN**

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV

Invader Zim is property of Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom

* * *

Episode 026/3-002: Magical Pork Eater Daria

* * *

Date: Thursday, March 5th, 2098

 **Morgendorffer Residence...**

"Okay," Stacey said to herself as she scrolled through the list of available spells left in her current spelldrive. "Okay, I've got three power points left in this one, so there must be a low to medium-level spell I can use." She continued searching through the drive until she came across a few that caught her eye.

"Hmm, head shrinking? Nah. The ability to look into people's dreams? Well... that's a level of privacy intrusion that _Quinn_ would probably try, and I am _not_ on the same level as _her_. Ooh, what's this? The Sense of the Shadowhog? Is that like that one character from that Sonic game? Let's see..." Stacey said as she began reading the description.

"The Sense of the Shadowhog. It enhances the sense of-" The screen became corrupted before Stacey could finish reading it. "Hmm, enhanced something _is_ good, but what if it's something I don't like? The spell requires two power point, but most reversal spells only require one, so I can just as easily reverse it if I don't like it. Still, I'd better test it out on someone else first, just to make sure," Stacey said to herself.

A minute later, she heard the front door open downstairs. Quietly stepping out of her room, Stacey made her way over to the top of the stairs and looked down, seeing Daria talking to Tom before they both awkwardly said goodbye and Tom turned around. Daria closed the door and leaned against it. Stacey could see a red tint to Daria's face, but she didn't know if that was from the cold or a blush.

 _Hmm, what if the enhanced sense is sight? Daria could have better vision! Well, maybe not, but, I'd still be giving her an enhanced sense, and that's a good thing, right? Enhanced something is always good_ , Stacey thought incorrectly to herself. After all, an enhanced sense of _pain_ would not be considered good, now would it?

 _And after all, Quinn hasn't done anything to me at all since the incident with Sandi. This will be my way of thanking her! Oh, I can't wait to thank her with this spell!_

* * *

Three hours later, after Daria had fallen asleep, Stacey pressed the button on the spelldrive that would cast the spell. A strange smell emanated from the device, and Stacey held her nose as she scooted her chair back from the device. A pig-like apparition appeared in front of her. " **Are you prepared to receive the gift of the Shadowhog?** " the apparition asked her.

Holding her nose, Stacey shook her head. "No, but I would like to give it to my sister, as a way of thanking her for everything that she's done for me," Stacey replied, still holding her nose. " **Very well. I shall bless your sister with your thoughtfulness,** " the spectre said as it flew out of Stacey's room and entered Daria's room.

The apparation hovered over Daria's sleeping form before transforming into a circle of pig apparitions, which then descended and entered Daria's body. Daria wrinkled her nose at first, and then she began gagging before finally waking up. "Ack!" she spat. Stacey quickly entered Daria's room. "Daria, are you okay? I thought I heard something in here," Stacey asked her.

"I have this horrible taste in my mouth," Daria replied tiredly. "That's it? No superpowers or enhanced senses of sight or sound?" Stacey asked her. "What? Why would I have any of that?" Daria asked her. "No reason. Just... you know, curious," Stacey lied. "Whatever. Shut the door and let me get back to sleep," Daria said before she laid back down.

* * *

Date: Friday, March 6th, 2098

When Stacey got out of bed, she quickly made her way over to the bathroom. She saw that Daria's door was still closed. Shrugging her shoulders, Stacey entered the bathroom and closed the door to do her business, only to find her father sitting on the toilet, reading a data tablet.

"Dad! Why is the bathroom door open if you're still in here!?" Stacey screeched. "Oh, sorry, Kiddo!" Jake said as he got up. Stacey quickly averted her eyes as Jake pulled up his pants and washed his hands before leaving the bathroom. "The horror... the horror," Stacey whispered to herself as she closed the door again.

After cleaning up, she opened the door to see Daria staring at her blearily. "Sis, you don't look so good. Are you okay?" Stacey asked her with concern. Daria's eyes widened before she belched in Stacey's face. Stacey's eyes widened as a horrible smell hit her nose. "Sweet Raptor Jesus!" Stacey cried out as she fell onto her back.

Daria stepped over her sister and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. "Father... help me," Stacey rasped out in agony as the residual stench of Daria's breath stayed with her. "Blaarrgh!" Stacey exhaled before finding the will to live again and getting off the floor to go downstairs.

When Stacey finally plopped down in a chair in the kitchen, two bowls of cereal had already been set out for her and Daria, while Jake was eating some toast. Ignoring the miracle that was her father making breakfast without causing the kitchen's destruction, Stacey thanked her father before digging in. "Uh... Honey? I'm sorry about earlier, you know, in the bathroom," Jake said apologetically.

Stacey nodded her head in affirmation. "You're forgiven. Just... please remember to close the door next time," she said. "I will, but how did you even enter the bathroom without noticing me to begin with?" Jake asked her. "Uh... I don't know," Stacey said, acknowledging that her father did have a valid question of his own.

Stacey and her father soon resumed eating their breakfast. The tranquility, however, was soon interrupted by Daria's entrance. "Hey, Kiddo! Guess what your old man did this morning?" Jake asked as he greeted his eldest daughter. "You scarred Stacey for life?" Daria asked groggily.

"Um... aside from _that_ , look at the table," Jake said with a proud smile on his face. "Oh... you made breakfast. Th-Thanks," Daria said, caught off guard as she looked down at the cereal in front of her. She sat down and took a spoonful of the food into her mouth, chewing it before her eyes widened and she spat out the food.

"Are you okay!?" Jake asked her. "You aren't choking, are you!?" he asked quickly in panic. "No! The food! It tastes _horrible!_ " Daria exclaimed with a grimace. "What are you talking about?" Stacey asked her. "The food's fine," she said before taking another spoonful into her mouth. "No it isn't," Daria said.

"Yes, it is," Stacey said. "Look, Stace... you don't have to lie to make your old man feel better," Jake said solemnly. "I'm not lying! Try a bowl for yourself," Stacey replied. "Oh, alright," Jake said before pouring himself a bowl of cereal and milk. He quickly put a spoonful into his mouth and chewed before swallowing.

"Hey! Your sister's right, Kiddo. This cereal is fine," Jake said. "Here, try a spoon from my bowl," Jake said, offering her a spoonful. Daria took it into her mouth, before spitting it out as well. "It's horrible!" she exclaimed in disgust. Stacey raised an eyebrow at Daria's behavior. "Daria... what exactly does the food taste like?" Stacey asked her. "I don't know! it's just... horrible!" Daria replied as she got up and walked over to the fridge. "Maybe the food doesn't affect me because of my time at the academy," Jake mused. "We ate all kinds of horrible things there," he said thoughtfully.

"But then why does it taste fine to me?" Stacey asked her father. "Right, I forgot about you," Jake said. "Hmm... I need to get to work soon," Jake said before getting up from his chair. "Okay, you two have a good day at school, and Daria? Check to see if maybe your tooth paste is old or something. Maybe you didn't rinse your mouth out completely and that's affecting your taste buds," Jake suggested before leaving the kitchen.

Stacey watched as her sister tried food item after food item from the fridge. _Wait... I wonder if the Gift of the Shadowhog is connected to this somehow_ , Stacey pondered, somehow failing to immediately connect the dots between the previous night's events and her sister's current taste bud problem. "Blech! Everything is terrible! Wait, the bacon is okay," Daria said after grabbing a piece of cold bacon from a plate in the fridge.

* * *

 **The Massive, Flagship Of The Irken Armada**

"You're kidding, right?" Almighty Tallest Red asked Skoodge. " _No, my Tallest. I've had Quinn's computer analyze the readings a dozen times over. There is another Irken base present in Lawndale. I've seen the wavelength signals, and they match an older version of an Invader-Class modular base perfectly. It's definitely here in Lawndale, but I can't find the exact location,_ " Skoodge said.

"Then how can you determine the origin of the signals?" Red asked the short Irken. " _The signals appear to be piggybacking off of other random communication systems, in what is clearly a stealth setting. But, and here's the strange thing. Two days ago, the computer picked up what appeared to be a_ _ **third**_ _set of signals, also Irken in origin. I don't know if the other Irken knows that we're onto them, or if this means that there are more Irkens on this planet that are not accounted for. Have any other Irkens been sent to this planet in the past?_ " Skoodge asked them on the screen.

"I do recall sending... _someone_ out here on a scouting mission once, but that was decades ago," Red said thoughtfully. "Give us some time to do an archival analysis and we'll contact you... whenever we find what we're looking for. Keep up the surveillance, Inspector. Bye," Red said before ending the transmission. "So...," Purple asked between bites of his candy, "Who's gonna look up the archive stuff?"

" _We_ are," Red said. Purple gasped and almost choked on his own food before clearing his throat properly. "W-What!? You mean we aren't gonna have someone else do it for us?" Purple asked in dismay. "No. There's something that's been bugging me for a while, and this gives me the perfect opportunity to take a look at it while also getting something else done too," Red explained before he exited the bridge, heading for a private computer chamber. Purple quickly followed him, leaving the bridge crew alone.

* * *

 **Lawndale High School**

"And so, when the author makes such a drastic change in the direction and tone of their work, this is sometimes reflective of a personal issue," Mr. O'Neill said as he droned on. Meanwhile, Daria quietly took out a protein bar from her jacket pocket. It was a peanut butter flavored bar, and Daria kept her eyes on Mr. O'Neill as he continued talking.

Slowly and carefully peeling the wrapper, Daria waited until Mr. O'Neill's back was turned before she brought the bar up to her mouth and took a bite. She made sure to bite off a piece to hide the rest of the bar before chewing, but as soon as her tongue made contact with the oats and other materials, a violent reaction followed.

Daria loudly spat out the chunk of protein bar, wiping her tongue with her hand. "Uh, Daria? Why are you eating in class?" Mr. O'Neill asked her. "I didn't eat breakfast," Daria replied. "Oh. I'm sorry, Daria, but... perhaps you should wait until class is dismissed before eating anything. I'd like to be lenient, but the rules clearly state that students and staff are not allowed to eat while class is in session," O'Neill said in an apologetic tone.

Daria slowly nodded her head before putting the rest of the protein bar away. Jane glanced at Daria in concern as Mr. O'Neill continued with his drivel. _I need to eat something! That one piece of bacon isn't cutting it anymore, and I'm starving. If I can just make it until lunch, maybe I'll find something that isn't revolting_ , Daria thought to herself as she looked up at the clock.

 **Lunch Time...**

Daria looked at the assorted items on her tray. A ham and cheese sandwich, an apple, a carton of milk, and mashed potatoes. Daria had decided that if she couldn't eat food again for the rest of her life, then the school's mashed potatoes would ensure that she died before the hunger became unbearable. _Or will they destroy my eyesight? Dammit, I can't remember what the effects of the potatoes are_ , Daria realized.

Sitting down next to her were Jane, Stacey, and Andrea. Stacey was looking at a book of mythology and spells. Daria carefully picked up the apple and watched as another student sitting at an adjacent table took a bite out of his own apple. The boy chewed his apple methodically, before he smiled and took another bite out of it. Looking back at her own apple, Daria took a bite out of it, and immediately spat it out.

"Hey, watch where you're spitting," Andrea warned as she moved her tray. "Sorry, but everything I eat today tastes horrible," Daria said. "Say, Daria... you spent the other night with Tom, right?" Jane asked. "I talked with him on the _phone_ , Jane," Daria said. "Who's Tom again?" Andrea asked them. "A prep boy that Daria and I met at the Zon a few weeks back. I think Daria here-" "Blech!" Daria said as she spat out her milk.

"Okay, you _really_ need to put a napkin or something in front of your mouth when you do that, because I don't need your spit all over my food," Andrea said with a frown. "Sorry," Daria muttered before grabbing a napkin as she picked up the ham and cheese sandwich. She closed her eyes and brought the sandwich up to her mouth, taking a bite out of it, before chewing and swallowing.

Daria opened her eyes. "This... this is okay," she said in surprise. "Wait... I had a strip of bacon this morning, and that was fine. And this sandwich is okay... because it's _ham and cheese_ ," Daria said in realization. "Wait... are you saying that you can only eat pork-based food?" Andrea asked her. There was a gasp from Stacey. "The Shadowhog," she whispered to herself.

"Shadow- _what?_ " Daria asked her with a glare. "Uh, nothing," Stacey lied. "Stacey... what did you do?" Daria asked her with a dangerous edge to her voice. Stacey gulped and looked away from her sister, noticing that Quinn was poking at her food with a fork as she pretended to eat in public. "Stacey, look at me," Daria said firmly.

Stacey turned her head to face her sister, seeing the dangerous glare on Daria's face. "What. Did. You. Do?" Daria asked her before grabbing the mashed potatoes with her left hand. "Tell me now, Stace, or you're going to eat these potatoes," Daria said. "You wouldn't dare!" Stacey cried. "Tell me what you did," Daria demanded.

"I... I... fine! I was messing around with my spelldrives last night and I... accidentally used a spell on you," Stacey half-admitted. "What was the spell?" Daria asked her. "It's called the Gift of the Shadowhog. It's supposed to enhance the sense of something, but part of the description was messed up," Stacey explained. "So you tested it out on me without even knowing what it actually does!?" Daria asked her incredulously. Several students in the cafeteria turned their heads in Daria's direction after hearing her outburst.

"I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me, especially since you've saved me from Quinn's schemes several times," Stacey said. "This is your way of thanking me?" Daria asked her. "I thought that an enhanced sense would be good! I mean, what if it had been an enhanced sense of sight!?" Stacey retorted. "But it _isn't_ , Stacey. Now I'm stuck being able to only eat pork for the rest of my life," Daria said.

"Wait, can you still drink water?" Jane asked her. "Surprisingly, yes," Daria replied. "Well, you know... pork is a really good taste," Stacey said nervously. Daria glared at her sister. "As long as you aren't Jewish or Muslim," Jane commented. "That was lame," Andrea said. "Eh," Jane said with a shrug of her shoulder.

Meanwhile, over at the table full of cheerleaders, the girls who had overheard Daria's outburst were already starting the rumor mill. "Wait, guys. We don't know the full story yet," Brittany Taylor said. "Brit, an unpopular brain just started yelling about pork. It's a law that we have to make sure other people know about her affinity for the stuff," Angie said.

"I don't think that's actually a law," Brittany said. The other cheerleaders stared at her for a minute before returning to their gossip. Brittany looked back over her shoulder at the table where Daria was sitting. _Poor Daria_ , Brittany thought sadly as she watched her fellow cheerleaders start spreading the rumors to the other students in the cafeteria.

* * *

Throughout the rest of the day, Daria found herself being subjected to taunts about pork, as the rumor mill and gossip of the cheerleaders and other kids had spread. "Hey, Daria! My dad's having a pork barbecue next month. Wanna come over? We'll have pork chops and hot dogs, and even ribs. My dad uses this really great sauce on the ribs," Kevin Thompson said earnestly, genuinely under the impression that Daria loved pork. "Ugh," Daria muttered as she walked through the hallway. "Do you like rub instead of sauce?" Kevin asked himself as Daria walked away.

"You know, I heard the eating pork rinds can make you _fat!_ " a girl said to her friends as Daria walked past them. After each class, Daria began to dread walking through the hallways, as the comments continued getting worse and worse, and she could hear people telling each other outlandish stories about her newfound affinity for pork. _Stacey... you'd better find a way to reverse this, or I'm going to make the rest of your life very unpleasant_ , Daria thought darkly to herself as she saw someone stick a drawing of a pig on her locker.

"Hey, Pig-Girl! I hear there's a special on hot dogs at S-Mart!" one kid shouted as he saw Daria walked to her next class. Daria stopped walking. "Daria?" Jane asked her before the bespectacled girl turned around and marched over to the taunter. A few minutes later, his friends were trying to pull him out of a large trash can in the hallway.

"Gee, I didn't think people actually did that in real life," Jane said. "Is this the real life, Jane? Or is this just fantasy? I feel like I'm caught in a landslide, and there's no escape from this reality," Daria said. "Well, you can always blink your eyes and pinch yourself," Jane suggested. Daria quickly pinched herself. "Nope. I'm in the fucking real world," Daria muttered bitterly as they made their way to their final class of the day.

"Hey, maybe we should see if your dad can do something," Jane said. "What?" Daria asked her. "I mean, he _is_ a scientist, right?" Jane asked her. "Yeah... and so is Andrea's dad, who works at the same lab," Daria said. "So, at least one of them can help you. I'll see if Trent can give us a ride after school lets out," Jane said. "It's worth a shot," Daria said. "Just make sure that Stacey is with us. I wanna see if they can fix her head as well," Daria said.

* * *

 **Membrane Laboratories, After School...**

"So... you want us study you and find out if there's a way to cure this pig-mouth ailment of yours?" Doctor Wingert asked Daria as she sat on an examination table. "Yes," Daria replied. "Hmm... I'll go get Professor Membrane and see what he has to say. "Wait, which one?" Daria asked him. "Uh... I'll be back soon enough," Dr. Wingert said before disappearing.

"You know, I've never actually been inside this place before," Jane said from the chair next to the wall. "I've been here before," Stacey said. "Good for you," Jane replied.

After a few minutes, Dib Membrane entered the exam room. "Ah, hello there, Miss Morgendorffer," Dib said courteously. "Hi," Daria said in response. "Hello," Stacey said as well, causing Dib to nearly jump out of his skin. "Yikes! Dr. Wingert didn't tell me that you were in here too," Dib said after he'd calmed down.

"So, you said that you have a problem with food that isn't pork. Is that correct?" Dib asked the older Morgendorffer sibling. "Yes. Everything I eat becomes overwhelmed with the taste of pork mixing in with it, and everything except pork products become impossible to eat as a result," Daria explained. "Hmm... this does sound familiar. Where have i encountered this before?" Dib asked himself.

"Um, have you ever heard of spelldrives?" Stacey asked him. "Spell-oh my god that's it!" Dib exclaimed. "It's all coming back to me now!" he shouted as he grabbed his head in pain. "The.. the toilet! So _filthy!_ " he hissed. "Um... toilet?" Daria asked him. "The stench... so horrible! I thought I'd repressed these memories! Stacey, did you use the Curse of the Shadowhog on your sister!?" Dib asked her.

"No. I used the _Gift_ of the Shadowhog!" Stacey replied. "It's the same thing!" Dib retorted. "It is?" Stacey asked him. "Yes! You'll have to find a way to enter the realm of the Shadowhog itself and complete a set of tasks set forth by it in order to cure Daria of the curse," Dib said, recoiling in horror as the memories of cleaning a filthy piggy toilet of filthy piggy filth flooded his mind. "The _horror_... the _horror_ ," he whispered to himself.

"Um... are you okay?" Stacey asked Dib as he started muttering to himself. "I'm so sorry, Gaz," Dib said quietly. "Um... you know, we can come back another time," Stacey said. "No! If there's a way to get rid of this... pig-mouth curse, then I want to know about it... _today!_ " Daria demanded.

"Um... I don't have the book with me anymore, but it might still be at the library. There's a tome of ancient spells that should send you to the realm of the Shadowhog," Dib said. "Um... just which libraries carry this book?" Stacey asked him. "Um... I actually don't remember," Dib said. "I guess I'll have to start looking then," Stacey said.

"Hey. If a pizza has sausage on it, would it still be okay? I mean, the sausage wouldn't cover the entire thing, but it would still be there. So, would that still be edible for me?" Daria asked. "What about a ham and pineapple pizza?" Jane suggested. "Or a ham and pineapple pizza with sausage on it?" Stacey added.

"Look, I think that as long as it has pork in or on it, Daria should be capable of consuming it," Dib said. "I mean, the bread from your sandwich earlier tasted fine, right?" Dib asked. "Yeah, I guess," Daria replied. "Okay then. I'll be back later with that book. Say, what's it called again?" Stacey asked Dib. "It was called the... uh-oh," Dib said.

Daria raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember the name of the book either, do you?" she asked the scientist. "Um... no, sadly," Dib admitted. "Dammit," Daria muttered. "Come on, Jane! We have a book to find!" Stacey exclaimed as she grabbed Jane by the arm and dragged her out of the room. "Hey, wait a minute!" Jane cried.

* * *

 **The Lawndale Public Library, Hours Later...**

Stacey closed another book and laid it down on the table in front of her. "Um, are you sure you don't wanna check out the digital archives they have around here?" Jane asked her. "They probably wouldn't have an obscure book transferred onto their servers," Stacey replied with a frown.

Jane looked over at the large stacks of books next to Stacey. "Did you actually go through _all_ of those books?" Jane asked her in disbelief. "Yes," Stacey replied tiredly. "So... what now?" Jane asked. "I don't know," Stacey said, defeated. "Come on, this isn't the only library in the world," Jane said. "Yeah, but... okay, I guess we'll just go to the next available library in Lawndale," Stacey said.

"Um... now where would that be?" Jane asked her. "Well, there's a... why didn't I think of it before!?" Stacey exclaimed. "Hey! Keep it down!" a patron whispered at her. "Sorry," Stacey said quietly. "Okay. What didn't you think of?" Jane asked Stacey.

"Fielding! Fielding Preparatory Academy has a _huge_ library, with almost everything transferred onto servers _and_ physical copies," Stacey said. "How do you know this?" Jane asked her. "I did some research on it some time last week after Tom came over to spend the afternoon with Daria," Stacey replied.

"Say... he's on good terms with Daria, so maybe if we tell him about what's happening, he might be able to sneak us in there so we can find something," Stacey said. "Um, Stacey, I hate to burst your bubble, but it's eight-thirty in the evening. We can try tomorrow. Now, let's put these books away and go home for the night," Jane said. "But what about Daria?" Stacey asked her. "We'll have to go get her and bring her back home before heading off to Fielding tomorrow. She should be able to convince Tom to let us check out that library tomorrow," Jane said.

"Right," Stacey said in agreement. "Ahem!" Jane and Stacey turned to see a librarian standing behind them. "I hope you're planning on putting those books away before you leave," the middle-aged woman said to them. "Of course," Jane said. "Good," the librarian said before walking away.

* * *

Date: Saturday, March 7th, 2098

Daria looked out the window of the Tank, a van owned by a drummer named Max Tyler but frequently used by Mystic Spiral and Jane, as Trent drove them up to the home of the Sloanes, who lived in a gated community. Trent slowed the van before coming to a halt at the entrance gate, where a guard walked out of the shack to see them. "Sir, I believe that you may be lost," the guard said. "Uh... this is where the Sloanes live, right?" Trent asked.

"Well yes, but-" "Then I'm not lost," Trent said. "Who are you?" the guard asked. "Um, excuse me, but I'm friends with Tom Sloane, and he wanted us to come pick him up," Daria said. "Tom? Oh, that makes sense," the guard said, having seen Tom's rusted death trap of a car many times before.

The guard walked back over to the shack and opened the gate. "Go on ahead," he said. "Thanks, man," Trent said with a nod before driving forward. After a couple of minutes, Trent saw someone standing outside of a large mansion. "Hey, is that what's-his-name?" Trent asked. Daria looked up ahead and saw Tom standing near a driveway. "Yeah. That's Tom, so park the Tank near him," Daria said.

"Park. That just means stop moving, right?" Trent asked humorously as he slowed down the van before coming to a stop a few feet away from where Tom was standing. "Are you sure this guy lives here? He's dressed so... normal," Trent said as he looked at Tom. "Yeah," Daria said as she opened the door and walked out to greet Tom.

"Hey, Daria. Um, when you called me last night... I think I may have misheard a few things," Tom said. "Such as?" Daria asked him. "Well... you said that you'd been cursed by your sister and can only eat pork. Um... care to explain that?" Tom asked her. "How about you come with us and we'll explain everything in more detail," Daria suggested. "Well, I was planning on getting out of the house anyway," Tom said with a smile as he got into the Tank.

The front door opened as Daria was about to get into the van, and a girl with darker hair walked out. "Tom, where are you going?" Tom's sister, Elsie Sloane, asked him. Tom poked his head out of the van. "Uh... away. Forever," Tom said. "Make sure to call Mom or Dad if you aren't back before nine tonight. I don't need them sending out the police searching for you again," Elsie said.

"Hey, that was one time! Can't anyone just let that go?" Tom retorted. "Apparently not. Like I said, if you can't make it back home before nine, make sure to call and let one of us know," Elsie said before disappearing into the house. "She seemed nice," Jane commented. "Yeah, when you don't know her very well," Tom grumbled before Daria got into the van and closed the door.

"Okay, here we go," Trent said as he turned the key. Nothing happened. "Trent... did you actually turn off the engine?" Jane asked him. "Yes," Trent replied, annoyed at himself for his decision to shut off the engine of a notoriously unreliable vehicle. "So... we'll need to-" "Got it!" Trent announced as he turned the key again, this time getting the engine to start.

"Okay, so... where am I taking us again?" Trent asked the group. "Well, Tom, can you get us into that big library at Fielding?" Daria asked him. "I already said yes over the phone," Tom said. "Sorry. I forgot," Daria muttered. "So... you said that you guys would explain things to me about this whole... pork-tasting thing?" Tom asked.

"Well," Stacey began, "It all started when I found a collection of spelldrives!" Stacey then went into great detail about the spelldrives and how they worked, before taking one out and showing it to Tom. "See? Isn't it cool!?" Stacey asked him with a grin. "Sure, when you know how to _use it properly_ ," Daria growled. "Uh... right," Stacey said sheepishly.

The Tank soon arrived at Fielding Preparatory Academy, thanks to Tom's directions. "Keep the engine running until I can guarantee that we'll be let in," Tom said as he got out. Daria, Stacey, and Jane followed him. "Don't take too long! This thing eats gas like a kid eats candy," Trent called out.

Walking up to the doors of the large building, Daria and Stacey noticed several Fielding students walking around the academy grounds. "Um, isn't it a Saturday? Why do all of these kids look like they're going to classes?" Jane asked. "Um... some of these guys are... dorm students. They live at the academy... in dormitories. This place is pretty big, you know," Tom explained.

As the group walked up to the doors of the building where the library was located, a security guard held out a hand. "I recognize you, Mr. Sloane, but who are these people?" the guard asked. "Um, these are my newest friends. We were hoping to use the library to check out some books on mythology and... superstitions," Tom said.

"Hmm... uh, err, oh, ah, err, uuuuhhhh... okay, go ahead," the guard said after much vocal deliberation. "Thank you," Tom said as he walked past the security guard and into the building. Looking at the grand halls around them, everyone except Tom looked around in wonder at the interior of the building. "This place is a library?" Stacey asked. "It _houses_ a library," Tom corrected her.

"Right," Stacey mumbled. "Wow, you don't see much wood furnishing in most buildings nowadays," Jane said as she admired the architecture. "Oh, I need to call Trent and tell him that we're inside," she said before taking out her phone and dialing Trent's phone. "Hey, Trent? Yeah, we're inside. You can shut off the Tank's engine now. Okay, bye," Jane said before hanging up.

"Hey... Stace, where's Andrea?" Daria asked as she noticed the absence of the goth girl. "Oh, she's spending the weekend with her mother," Stacey replied. "Oh, so her parents actually spend time with her. That must be nice," Daria mused with a hint of bitter dejection in her voice.

* * *

 **The Membrane Household...**

"Okay, now start backing the car out of the driveway slowly," Tak said as Andrea slowly pressed her foot against the gas pedal. "Good. You're doing good. Keep your eyes on the mirrors, and don't forget to check the rear window and look out your own window as well," Tak said in a calm manner.

"Okay," Andrea said. "That's good. Just keep going until we reach the end of the driveway," Tak said calmly. Andrea nodded her head and continued backing the car up. "All right, that's good. Now, prepare to turn the car as we exit the driveway," Tak said. "Andrea started turning the wheel. "Remember how many rotations the steering wheel has before it stops, and-what was that?" Tak asked as they heard a soft crunch from outside the car, and felt a slight bump.

"Did I hit something?" Andrea asked as she hit the brakes. "Put the car in park," Tak said. Andrea did so and Tak unbuckled her seat belt before getting out of the car. Walking over to the back tire, Tak saw a small grayish brown bushy tail and blood, along with pieces of an acorn. She shrugged her shoulders and got back into the passenger seat. "So, did I hit something?" Andrea asked her mom.

"Yes," Tak said. "What did I hit?" Andrea asked her. "Don't worry about it. It was just a squirrel," Tak said dismissively. "Now, take the car out of park and continue backing up," she said to her daughter. "I killed a squirrel," Andrea said sadly. "It's okay, honey. It was just a squirrel. Besides, there are hundreds of the little bastards running around this neighborhood," Tak said in a reassuring manner. "Now come on, let's get out onto the road."

* * *

 **Back At Fielding Preparatory Academy...**

After entering the large library, the group started making their way down a long and tall column of books, soon entering a maze of dust, paper, and various couples making out where the security cameras couldn't see them. Some of the couples were already reaching third base, causing the group to hasten their pace as they made their way to the section they wanted. "I think we're almost there," Tom said quietly as they turned a corner.

Locating the section on mythology and the supernatural, the group quickly began picking out and reading through every book that seemed remotely relevant. "Are there any tables to set these on?" Stacey asked Tom as she carried a large stack of books. "Sure, right over... oh," Tom said, noticing that the nearest table was being used by a couple making out.

"Uh... we may have to walk back towards the entrance to find a table that isn't... occupied," Tom said. "But we'd have to go past the people fornicating," Stacey said. "I hadn't thought about that," Tom said. "Hmm... oh, there's a quiet room for lessons," Tom said as he saw a see-through door and a set of windows. "Let's go," Stacey said as everyone else gathered up their books and followed her into the room.

"Hey, it isn't locked," Stacey noted. "Hardly anyone ever uses this room on the weekends," Tom said as he set down a stack of books on a table. Everyone else followed suit and began reading through the various books that they'd found.

 **Six Hours Later...**

"Nothing," Daria said in disappointment after closing her book. "There's nothing here on the Shadowhog." "I can't find anything either," Jane said as she closed her final book. "Same," Tom muttered in defeat. "No, there has to be something somewhere!" Stacey exclaimed. "Yeah, in another library," Jane quipped.

Stacey frowned before taking out the spelldrive that she had brought with her. "What are you doing?" Daria asked her. "I'm checking the spell again to see if maybe there's a name or a word that we might be able to use as a reference," Stacey explained as she scrolled down the list of spells before reaching the Sense of the Shadowhog. Stacey's wristwatch vibrated, and she pressed a button on it, turning the screen on. "Hello?" she asked.

" _Agent Coyote Pup, this is Agent Tuna Ghost. I've just finished digging up the research notes that I'd used back when Agent Mothman had experienced problems with spelldrives,_ " Agent Tuna Ghost said. "Great! What did you find?" Stacey asked her. " _On whatever page shows the description of the Shadowhog spell there should also be a link to a spell that will take you to the Shadowhog's realm. You need to be outside and in a location that doesn't have a lot of people around it for this to work, however,_ " Tuna Ghost said.

"Oh. Um, okay. Thank you," Stacey said. " _You're welcome. Agent Tuna Ghost out,_ " Tuna Ghost said before ending the transmission. "Wait, your wristwatch could do that the whole time?" Jane asked her. "That's not important," Stacey said dismissively. "What is important is getting out of here and finding a secluded spot outside where we can use a spell to transport ourselves into the realm of the Shadowhog," she added.

"Say what?" Tom asked her. "We're going to transport ourselves into the realm of the Shadowhog, using my spelldrive," Stacey said. "Wait... you mean we could've saved ourselves all of this time and hassle just by using the damn spelldrive again?" Daria asked her with an annoyed glare. "Um... yes?" Stacey replied.

Nearly an hour later, the group managed to return to the Tank, having successfully returned their books and maneuvered around the various fornicating couples in the library, at least until the librarian had found them and dispatched commercial-class punishment drones to deal with the youths, regardless of who had been doing what at the time. At had been an exhausting chase through the building, as both the drones and security guards were relentless in their pursuit of those who they believed had desecrated the sanctity of the library. Trent had been sleeping when they knocked on the van doors, jolting the 23 year-old awake.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Trent asked them as he unlocked the doors and opened them for the group. "Just get us to the High Hills Park!" Jane exclaimed as she ushered Daria, Tom, and Stacey into the van before getting herself, closing the door behind her. "Uh, the High Hills Park?" Trent asked her, confused. "Yes! We need to get there for the... thingy... to work!" Jane explained.

"Right. The... thingy," Trent said to himself before starting the engine again. "Yeah. Thingy rhymes with dingy, and I feel a little singy," Trent sang poorly as he drove the Tank away from the not-so-hallowed halls and grounds of Fielding Preparatory Academy.

* * *

 **Later, At High Hills Park...**

The Tank came a stop near the base of the hill. "I think we outran them," Trent said as he looked in the side mirror. "Yeah... we outran them. Stupid Ranger Girls tryin' to sell me cookies I don't want," Trent muttered. "Is it safe to stand up?" Stacey asked. "Uh... yeah," Trent said. Everyone inside the Tank soon got up before opening the side panel door and getting out.

"So... I'll just... stay here again," Trent said as the others departed the aging and dangerous van. "I wonder if I should use today's events as part of a song? Yeah... that would be cool, but what would we call the song?" Trent asked himself as the group continued walking away.

As the group eventually neared the top of the hill, Stacey opened her spelldrive and looked for the page on the Shadowhog. "Here! Oh, the page isn't corrupted this time," Stacey noted. "You know, this whole thing could've been avoided if you'd actually waited for the page to load properly the first time," Daria said. "It wasn't just the page, Sis, it was the whole screen that went bad on me," Stacey retorted.

"You still could have just rebooted the damn thing," Daria said. Stacey kept her eyes focused on the spelldrive as the group made their way up the hill. At the crest of the hill, where the trees parted and surrounded them, the group looked around at the dark clouds that were above them. "Huh... I thought we weren't supposed to get a storm until Monday," Tom said as he heard thunder in the distance. "Did we pass through a temporal anomaly?" he asked with a chuckle.

Stacey set the spelldrive down on the grass before bringing accessing the Sense of the Shadowhog. Activating the internal link to the page that described how to contact and enter the realm of the Shadowhog, Stacey paused after hearing the sound of car engines and loud shrieks. "Oh hell, it's those ranger girls again!" " _Heeelp!_ " Trent cried out down below as the small terrifying females began harassing him to buy their snacks.

"Trent's in trouble!" Jane exclaimed. " _Leave me alone! I don't want your cookies!_ " Trent cried out. The yips and roars of the Ranger Girls grew louder and more ferocious. "Trent! Hold on!" Jane cried before she began running down the hill to save her brother. "Jane, come back! They'll get you too!" Stacey cried out.

Soon, three small girls, all between the ages of nine and twelve, burst through the clearing near the top of the hill. The first Ranger Girl was thin and had red hair worn in pig-tails. The second Ranger Girl was a little chubby, but had blonde hair and a red visor over her eyes. The third Ranger Girl was taller than the other two, and she had hair that was dyed green and twisted into a braid. "There! More customers!" the green-haired Ranger Girl shouted as she pointed at the group.

Jane gulped and ran back up the hill. "Stacey! Do the... whatever it is!" Tom exclaimed as he backed away from the approaching Ranger Girls, all three of whom held boxes of various types of cookies in their gloved hands. "Wanna buy some... _**COOKIES!? HUH!?**_ " the red-haired Ranger Girl asked in a loud shriek with bulging eyes and a manic smile. "N-No! Get away from us!" Tom exclaimed in fear.

Stacey quickly pressed the button on the spelldrive. The screen began to glow, until an intense beam of light shone out of it, turning into a swirling vortex of color that pulled the teenagers into it. "Wait, what is thiiiiiiiiissss!?" Tom screamed as he was pulled inside of the purple vortex. "Hoooollllyyyyy crrraaaaaap!" Jane yelled as she was pulled in.

"Eh," Daria muttered as she was sucked into the vortex. Stacey said nothing and only squealed when she was pulled inside. The lid of the spelldrive then closed, and the three Ranger Girls looked at it in confusion. "They... they were swallowed by that... book thing!" the blonde Ranger Girl shrieked as she pointed at the spelldrive.

The other two Ranger Girls merely nodded their heads in agreement. "So... what now? I mean, Boss Lady has probably already cleaned that van guy's wallet out," the green-haired Ranger Girl said. "We just... say that the person we heard... was eaten by a bear," the blonde one said. "Yeah... let's do that," the red-haired one said. All three girls nodded their heads in agreement before walking back through the forest down to the parked van below, where an unconscious Trent lay in the door frame, his mouth stuffed with cookies and his wallet empty.

* * *

 **The Realm Of The Shadowhog...**

Stacey opened her eyes and looked around at the cavernous... cavern that she and the others had been transported into. There were torches mounted on walls of a large castle of some kind, or perhaps it was a temple. "Wow, look at that temple," Tom said. In front of the steps of the temple and to the side were two large stone pillars, both of which had statues of hogs on top, holding swords.

" _Pork..._ " Stacey whipped her head around. "Did anyone else hear that?" she asked. "Yeah. there's a chant coming from somewhere in here," Daria said. The chant of 'pork' continued quietly as the group made their way over to the front steps of the temple. As they approached the steps, a cloud of smoke rose from the ground, soon revealing three large swine, one of whom was dressed in purple and red robes with a gray or black cloak attached to his outfit while the other two were in guard uniforms.

"Oh wow," Tom muttered in awe. " **Halt. I am the Shadowhog. Who dares to enter my palace?** " the large robed pig asked. "Um... we do, sir," Stacey said nervously. " **And why is that, child?** " Shadowhog asked her. "My sister doesn't want your curse anymore," Stacey said. " **Curse? This, the most blessed of gifts, you call a curse? I have dealt with your kind before, ungrateful one. Did you not understand the nature of the Sense of the Shadowhog before bestowing it upon your sister?** " Shadowhog asked her.

"N-No," Stacey replied. "Look, can we just get the taste of pork out of my mouth? I would really like to eat other foods," Daria said. " **If you are to reject this gift, without incumbering my wrath, then you must pass a test. What is your name, bespectacled one?** " Shadowhog asked her. "My name is Daria Morgendorffer," Daria replied.

" **Very well, Daria. Please, follow me. The rest of you must wait out here, for the tasks that I beset upon this girl are for her alone,** " Shadowhog said before courteously ushering Daria ahead of him and making his way up the temple steps. "I really hope I wake up soon," Tom said as he watched Daria and the Shadowhog ascend, prompting Jane and Stacey to look at him.

* * *

 **Inside The Temple...**

"So, what are these tests?" Daria asked the Shadowhog. " **First, you must answer me these questions three,** " Shadowhog said. "Okay. Shoot," Daria said. " **First, what is my height?** " Shadowhog asked her. "Do you mean in feet, centimeters, inches, or meters? What unit of measurement are you asking for me to use?" Daria asked in response.

" **Uh... huh. I've... never actually thought about that,** " Shadowhog replied. "Well, in feet, I'd say about eight feet and six inches. As for meters, I'm going with two and a half or more," Daria replied. " **Uh... sure, we'll go with that. You have passed... the first test,** " Shadowhog said to her before briefly clapping his hands. " **Yay for you** ," he said.

"So, what's next?" Daria asked him. " **Next... how do you know if a character in The Neverending Story is capable of or has known love?** " Shadowhog asked her. "They can cry," Daria replied. " **That... is correct. You have passed the second test,** " Shadowhog said.

Daria nodded her head. " **Now... for the final and most daring of the tests,** " Shadowhog said, pausing dramatically as he looked down at Daria. "Go on," Daria prompted. " **You must perform the song, 'I'm A Little Teapot', while smiling,** " Shadowhog said. "What?" Daria asked him incredulously. " **You heard me,** " Shadowhog said. "I don't like to smile unless I have a reason," Daria said. " **Well, here's a reason: if you do not do so, then you shall keep my gift until the day you die,** " Shadowhog said. Daria sighed and put away her pride as she began singing with a smile on her face.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...**

Obi-Wan Kenobi sat down, prompting Luke Skywalker to turn off his lightsaber and walk over to him. "Ben, what's wrong?" Luke asked the elder Jedi. "I don't know. I felt... a great disturbance in the force," Obi-Wan said wearily. "Go back to your training," he said to Luke. Luke nodded his head and returned to getting stung by the training drone.

* * *

 **Back In The Temple Of The Shadowhog, Minutes Later...**

Daria finished her song and dance with a bow as Shadowhog clapped. " **Bravo! You, Daria Morgendorffer, have passed the trials. The Sense of the Shadowhog is now lifted from you,** " Shadowhog said with a wave of his hand. A brief purple glow emanated from Daria before she felt her mouth return to normal. This time, Daria's smile was genuine, and a sense of peace was felt throughout the universe.

" **It is time to return you and your companions to your realm,** " Shadowhog said. "Um, before we do that, there's something I'd like to do first," Daria said. " **Really? What would that be?** " Shadowhog asked her. Daria smirked in response.

 **Twenty Minutes Later...**

Stacey, Tom, and Jane were all sitting on the ground, cross-legged, as they waited for Daria to return. "So... think she's passed those tests yet?" Tom asked. "Eh," Jane said as she shrugged her shoulders. "I hope so," Stacey said worriedly. Tom nodded his head before looking up at the temple steps. He quickly stood up and pointed at them, prompting Jane and Stacey to stand up and look over.

"Daria!" Stacey exclaimed as she ran over to her sister once she had reached the bottom. Daria had a stricken look on her face before she gazed into her sister's eyes hauntingly. "D-Daria?" Stacey asked in concern. "I... my tongue," Daria said sadly. "W-What? What went wrong!?" Stacey cried.

" **I am afraid, child, that your sister... no longer tastes pork. Unfortunately, she no longer tastes... anything,** " Shadowhog said sorrowfully. "What!? No! Daria, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I only wanted to help you because you're the best sister ever, and now everything's even worse! This is all my fault! Daria, I'm sorry!" Stacey cried as she grabbed her sister's jacket and began sobbing her apology into it. Daria raised an eyebrow.

 _This was a lot funnier in my head_ , Daria thought to herself before she sighed and hugged her sister. "Stacey... I'm fine," Daria said. "B-But... you can't taste anything!" Stacey exclaimed as she came close to hyperventilating. "It was a prank," Daria said with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"A... prank?" Stacey asked her as she wiped the tears from her eyes. " **Yes, weeping one. This prank was your sister's revenge,** " Shadowhog said. "R-Revenge?" Stacey asked, bewildered. "I know you were only trying to be thoughtful when you gave me the Sense of the Shadowhog, but you still screwed up in a major way by not fully understanding what you were doing, Sis," Daria explained. "I know," Stacey said with a sniffle. "I'm sorry," she added softly.

"I know, Stace, I know," Daria said. "Come on, let's go home," Daria said. Stacey nodded her head. The Shadowhog soon opened a swirling vortex in the middle of the air. " **Now, depart from my realm, travelers. And remember, always read the fine print before signing anything,** " Shadowhog said as the foursome entered the portal, returning to Lawndale.

* * *

Ending Theme: Children Of The Night, by Buddy Miles

* * *

Author's Notes: Well, after the heavy stuff that was featured in the previous episode, I figured it was time for something a little less dark. On the next episode of Invader Quinn, a new student joins Lawndale High School, and Almighty Tallest Red delves deep into an investigation of something troubling.


	3. Kol, The Repulsive New Boy, Part 01

**INVADER QUINN**

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV

Invader Zim is property of Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom

* * *

Episode 027/3-003: Kol, The Repulsive New Boy, Part 01

* * *

Date: Monday, March 16th, 2098

Exiting the front door of the base, Quinn looked up at the morning sky. "When this planet is conquered, the Irken flag will hang proudly over everything," she said to herself before making her way over to the sidewalk. Quinn spent the next few minutes of her walk in silence, before she noticed a shadow near an alley across the street.

Looking at the alley, Quinn saw a large black wolf-dog retreating from view. "Just an Earth animal," Quinn muttered to herself as she continued her trek. After turning a corner at an intersection, Quinn saw a blue-colored car drive past her before the light changed and she was able to cross the street. She saw several other school students making their way to the school as well, but paid them no mind as she made her way to the grounds of the high school.

After arriving at the school, Quinn noticed the same blue car from earlier parked in the school's parking lot. Ignoring it, Quinn made her way over to the front steps, where dozens of students were disembarking from the buses dropping them off. Quinn saw several other students walking to the school, as well as some students getting dropped off by their parents.

Making her way inside the building, Quinn saw the usual cliques and groups talking together and getting things from their lockers as they prepared for their classes. Making her way over to Miss Bitters' classroom for homeroom, Quinn noticed that one of the hall lights was malfunctioning. She also saw a janitor holding a broken mop in frustration. He was yet another victim of Principal Li's misuse of school funds.

Stepping inside Miss Bitters' room, Quinn noticed the female teacher sleeping in her seat while several of the other students were talking amongst themselves. A few minutes later, Stacey walked in the door. Quinn watched the human girl quietly take her seat at the other end of the class room. The phone on Miss Bitters' desk soon rang, waking the teacher up.

Growling, Miss Bitters grabbed the phone. "Yes?" she asked. "Of course, Miss Li. I'll make sure to introduce him to the class, but I'm not sure that we have enough room for another one," Miss Bitters said into the phone. The creepy woman nodded her head as Principal Li said something on the other end of the phone. "I see. Yes, as soon as the new student arrives, I'll be sure to do that. Bye," Miss Bitters said into the phone before placing it back into the holder.

Two minutes later, a blond-haired boy stepped into the room, wearing a purple vest. There was a blue stripe in his hair over is right brow. He had blue eyes, and he was slightly taller than Quinn. Quinn raised an eyebrow at the boy, but said nothing. The boy walked over to Miss Bitters and bowed his head.

"Class, we have another hopeless and woefully unprepared student joining us today. His name is Kol. Kol, please speak now, because I don't want to hear you speak again until given permission after this moment," Miss Bitters said. "Of course. Hello, my name is Kol Saunders, and I just moved to Lawndale recently. I hope that we can all get along in the future," Kol said.

"Good, now let me find a seat for you. Over there, behind Stacey," Miss Bitters said, point at the empty seat behind Stacey. "And you," Miss Bitters said, pointing at a brown-haired boy named Donald Witler, "I'm tired of you. You're being sent to the underground classrooms." "Huh?" Donald asked before the tile his seat was on rapidly lowered down below the floor level. " _Nooo!_ " he cried before the new seat and floor tile was locked into place.

"Uh... Miss Bitters?" Stacey asked as she raised a hand. "Yes, Stacey?" "Are there really underground classrooms?" "Sure, why not?" Miss Bitters replied apathetically. Stacey gulped at the woman's response. Looking back at the boy sitting behind her, Stacey smiled meekly at him. He lifted his hand up and waved back briefly before glancing around the room to look at the other students.

His eyes locked onto Quinn for a few seconds longer than the others before he continued scanning the room. The bell for first period rang, and several students soon filed out. Kol looked at the paper in his left hand, which had the schedule for his semester on it. "Already on the move," he muttered to himself as he got up from his seat and walked out of the classroom.

 **Later, At Lunch...**

"So, apparently there are underground classrooms in the school," Stacey said as she ate her lunch. "Yeah, we've known that for a while," Jane commented before sticking a potato chip into her mouth. "I would blame Principal Li for their existence, but I think they might actually predate her tenure here," Andrea said.

"Can you imagine how much the school's budget would suffer if they didn't already exist and Miss Li wanted to build them now?" Daria asked as she bit into her pizza slice. "Trust me, she'll come up with plenty of fundraisers to make up for it," Jane said bitterly. "So... did that coffee house ever get fixed?" Daria asked.

"Uh... I think so, but I'm pretty sure the money they got wasn't from our fundraiser," Jane replied. "How do you know?" Daria asked her. "Because, Miss Li got some new security measures installed after the fundraiser was finished, and I overheard Mrs. Bennett fussing over the funds having gone missing," Jane explained.

"I see," Daria said dryly. "Uh, hey, is it okay if I sit here?" asked a new voice. The girls looked up from the table and saw a blond boy with blue eyes holding a tray. "Hi Kol," Stacey said with a smile. "Hi. So, can I sit here, or should I find somewhere-" "No, go right ahead," Stacey said eagerly. "Uh, thanks," Kol said as he sat down next to Stacey.

"You do realize that your popularity will tank because of this, right?" Jane asked him. "Eh," Kol said with a shrug of his shoulders. "So... did you just move here to Lawndale?" Stacey asked him. "I thought I already explained that in homeroom," Kol said. "Well, like, how recently?" Stacey asked him. "Oh, just a couple weeks ago. I've been working on assignments from my other school in the interim," Kol replied.

"Oh. So that's why you only just started today," Stacey said in understanding. "Yep," Kol said with a nod. "So... what do you think of the place so far?" Jane asked him. "Do you mean Lawndale or just the school?" Kol asked her. "Um... the school," Jane said. "Well, I think that the principal is guilty of criminal activities," Kol said. "I think my homeroom teacher may be a demon of some kind, and some of the other teachers are in serious need of therapy," Kol continued.

"Oh? Which ones?" Daria asked him. "There's that biology teacher, Miss Barch. I didn't learn anything in her class because all she wants to talk about is men being horrible because of her divorce. I don't have English until after lunch, but I've heard rumors that Mr. O'Neil is a blob of emotions, and that school counselor, the lady who had me look at pictures and describe them, is an absolute failure at her job," Kol said.

"That math teacher, Mr. Phelps, is okay though. He's got a stick up his ass, but otherwise he seems well-composed and at least sane. I'll have to see what the rest of the teachers are like this afternoon and tomorrow," Kol said. "Yeah, that seems accurate," Stacey said, nodding her head. "Just as a heads-up, Miss Barch will probably give you a bad grade on any assignment simply because you're a male," Andrea said. "What? She can't legally be allowed to do that, can she?" Kol asked in surprise.

"I haven't seen anyone tell her to stop, so... I don't think anyone cares," Andrea said. "I think Mack tried talking to Miss Li about it, but I don't know if he ever heard back from her," Jane said. "Probably not," Daria said. "Wait... do you have gym tomorrow?" Daria asked Kol. "I believe so, according to the schedule I was given," Kol replied.

"Get ready for football practice, because both gym teachers basically use the period as an excuse to make the students practice their sports," Daria said. "Yeah, and Miss Morris basically has us practice cheer-leading under the guise of exercising," Jane said bitterly. "Wow. Only half a school day has passed and I already regret coming here," Kol said. "Welcome to the club," Andrea said.

Meanwhile, sitting at a table a distance away, Quinn took a sip of the bottled water that she had purchased. She quickly opened her bag of potato chips and started eating them, as the majority of the planet's snacks were not dangerous to her. She listended between bites as the various groups of students were talking to each other.

" _So, like, he gave everyone three pages of homework, and it's all due in two days_." " _Dude, that's harsh._ " That conversation was somewhat intelligent, although completely irrelevant to Quinn.

" _And she was like, oh my god! Really? And I was like, puh-lease! And then he was like, no way! And I was like, oh my god!_ " Quinn frowned. " _And then, like, her little sister came into the room wearing, like, the cutest little dress!_ "

Quinn could feel her intelligence lowering with each sentence she heard the other students speak to one another. " _And that new kid is sitting with that freaky girl, Stacey._ " " _I know. Like, I think he's cute and all, but he has got some seriously bad taste._ " This piqued Quinn's interest. _Hmm, I wonder if I can use this to my advantage? Making the new student disassociate with Stacey would no doubt cause the girl a lot of emotional pain after believing that she'd found a new companion. Yes, I shall make Stacey suffer... without Daria catching on. I still haven't gotten every single access code changed in the base yet. Why do I keep putting that off?_

Meanwhile, back at Table La Morgendorffer, Stacey was busy talking Kol's ears off, although he seemed rather disinterested in anything she had to say. "And when I opened the door to the garage, I found Bigfoot! He was using the belt-sander!" Stacey said excitedly. "Right," Kol said with a nod of his head, his tone of voice conveying only minimal politeness.

"So... who's that girl with the, uh... odd skin tone?" Kol asked in a curious manner. "Huh? Oh, you mean Quinn," Stacey said with a frown as she turned her head to look at Quinn. The green-skinned female looked up from her tray and smiled at Stacey with a small wave before shoving more snacks into her mouth.

"Friend of yours?" Kol asked Stacey as he turned to look at her. "No," Stacey said coldly. "She seems friendly enough," Kol said. "Trust me, Kol. She's anything but friendly. She's pure evil," Stacey said darkly. "Is that so?" Kol asked her skeptically. "She once went around the school stealing people's organs," Stacey said bitterly.

Kol blinked in response. "Um... okay," he said. "It's true. She did actually do that," Daria said, with Jane and Andrea nodding their heads in agreement. "Come on. None of you seem to be missing any organs," Kol said. "She gave them back... after Daria threatened her," Jane said. "Riiiiight," Kol said.

"She's not human, Kol. She's an alien from another planet, and she's here to prepare Earth for conquest," Stacey said. "Really? How interesting," Kol said facetiously. "I can show you proof," Stacey said. "You have proof to back up your claims?" Kol asked her. "Yes. At my house," Stacey said. "You want me to go to your house after school? How about you bring your evidence to school tomorrow, in a public location where people will notice if something happens to me," Kol suggested.

"Fine. I'll bring the photographs," Stacey said. Kol chuckled before movement from a cafeteria window caught his eye. It was a small black cat, which quickly disappeared from view. Kol raised an eyebrow before returning his attention to the ranting girl sitting next to him.

* * *

As soon as the final bell rang, hundreds of students began pouring into the hallways, heading to their lockers and getting onto their buses. Quinn silently observed Kol as he walked over to the other end of the school and made his way over to the parking lot where a blue car was parked. _So, he has his own transportation. Nothing too unusual about that,_ Quinn thought to herself as she saw Kol get into the car and close the door. The vehicle quickly started up and left the parking lot.

Making her way back to the front end of the building, Quinn soon found herself walking behind Stacey and Andrea. She remained silent to prevent either of them noticing her presence as she followed them. "-don't get why nobody believes me. I mean, it's so obvious to anyone who pays attention," Stacey said.

"Well, the problem is that Lawndale is full of people who just don't pay attention or care, Stace. Remember that incident in January with that... giant mole thing?" Andrea said. "I remember," Stacey said in an annoyed tone of voice. _Ah, the Voricanothian incident. So, I wasn't the only one aware of their presence_ , Quinn realized.

Soon, however, Quinn noticed a small black cat joining Stacey and Andrea in their walk. The cat immediately turned its attention to Quinn, producing a hiss. Andrea and Stacey both stopped walking and turned around. "Mimi, what's..." Andrea trailed off once she saw Quinn standing on the sidewalk.

"Hello, my fellow dirt-monsters," Quinn said with a fake smile and a wave. "Quinn... why are you following us?" Andrea asked her. "Following you? Please! I was just... walking in the same direction! That's not _following_ ," Quinn balked. Andrea smirked. "Okay, then why are you walking in this direction?" Andrea asked her.

"Because... I can. Besides, I need the exercise," Quinn replied. "But you walk back to your base every day anyway. How does doing this give you any more exercise than normal?" Stacey asked her. "Um... I have grown bored with this conversation," Quinn said haughtily before turning around. "I shall see you Earth larva at school tomorrow," Quinn said as she walked away.

* * *

Date: Tuesday, March 17th, 2098

 **Lawndale High School...**

Stacey walked up to Kol as he stood by his locker, fumbling with the lock before finally getting it to open. "Stupid metal contraption," he muttered before he felt someone tapping him on his right shoulder. He turned his head to see Stacey standing next to him. "Hello, Stacey. I presume that you've brought your supposed 'evidence' today?" Kol asked her.

Stacey smiled before taking a small zip-lock bag out of her jacket pocket and handing it to Kol, who took the bag and opened it up before retrieving the pictures held inside. "Um... what's that green thing?" he asked. "That's Quinn's robot, GIR. It's disguised as a dog of some kind," Stacey replied. "Here, look at this next one," she said before grabbing the pictures and showing them to Kol.

"Here's GIR taking out the trash," Stacey said. "How can it hold anything with those nubby arms?" Kol asked curiously. Stacey's eyes widened. "Oh my god, you noticed! You actually noticed!" she squealed in delight. "Calm down, Stacey," Kol said. "It's just that nobody ever cares or notices these things!" Stacey explained.

"Are you serious?" Kol asked her. "Yes," Stacey replied. "That's... really sad," Kol said. "I know," Stacey said in agreement. "Anyway, here's a picture of Quinn without her disguise," Stacey said. Kol looked at the picture of the green-skinned female with large pink eyes and antennae. "Well, do you have a picture of the robot without its-oh, never mind," Kol said as Stacey showed him a picture of GIR eating a plate of tacos while sitting on a couch.

"These pictures are real," Stacey said. "And I'm going to use them to prove to everyone that what I'm saying is true! One day, the world will see that I-" "Okay, calm down. I believe you," Kol said. "You what?" Stacey asked him. "I believe you," Kol said.

Stacey looked at Kol in wide-eyed fascination. "I...I love you," she whispered. Kol put both of his hands on her shoulders. "You may want to reconsider your thought-processes," Kol said firmly. Stacey blinked at him. "However, I _am_ willing to be your ally and friend," Kol added. "Okay," Stacey said, nodding her head.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base, Around Noon...**

Skoodge looked at the diagrams and charts on the screens in front of him. "No, it just won't work," he said. "The amount of sugar must remain constant or else the cookies become bland and tasteless. There's no other way around it," Skoodge said to himself. "Computer, how are those pizza recipe comparisons coming along?" Skoodge asked. " **Pizza recipe comparisons are at seventy-eight percent,** " The Computer replied.

"Right. Uh, how is that... thing Quinn wanted coming along?" Skoodge asked. " **In-depth brain analysis of Tommy Sherman is at fifty percent,** " The Computer replied. "Uh, okay. That's... that's good, I guess," Skoodge said. "Where's GIR?" Skoodge asked, noticing how silent the lab was. " **GIR is currently upstairs watching Earth programs. Shall I retrieve him?** " The Computer responded.

"No. As long as GIR isn't causing any destruction, leave him alone," Skoodge said. " **Yes, Inspector,** " The Computer replied. Skoodge then reclined back in his chair before turning on a game of checkers on one of the lower monitors. "Now, where was I?" he asked himself before resuming his match against The Computer.

* * *

 **After School...**

As the final bell rang, Stacey looked around the hallways for any sign of Kol. "Hey, watch'a lookin' for?" Andrea asked her. "I was... just checking to make sure that Quinn wasn't hiding so that she could follow us again," Stacey lied. As the two girls made their way over to the front doors, they saw Daria and Jane walking towards the sidewalk when what could only be described as a metal death trap drove up to them.

"Hey... who's that?" Andrea asked. "I think that's Tom," Stacey said. She'd seen Tom's car outside of the Morgendorffer home a few times in the past two weeks. "Tom? Oh right, that prep-boy who Daria's seeing," Andrea said. "Yeah.," Stacey said, nodding her head. The duo watched as Daria and Jane opened the doors of Tom's car and got in before the car took off.

"So... does your sister have a life insurance policy?" Andrea asked Stacey. "Um... I don't know," Stacey replied as she watched Tom's death trap drive away. "Well, at least your sister isn't seeing the guy for his car," Andrea said with a smirk. "Hmm... unless she _likes_ machines that could break down at a moment's notice," Stacey said thoughtfully.

"I mean, she's pretty good with electronics and other mechanical things. Maybe Daria's hoping for a chance to try fixing a car? I know that she once showed these two idiots back in Highland how to change a tire," Stacey said. "You mean Beaver and Buffhead?" Andrea asked her. "No, Beavis and _Butthead_ ," Stacey clarified. "Yeah... who names their kids like that?" Andrea asked her. "Well, Daria told me that Butthead's mom was high on some kind of drug when she named him," Stacey explained. "Gotcha," Andrea said.

Meanwhile, walking away from the school, Quinn came to a halt before turning around to see a blue car driving slowly away from the school's parking lot. She shrugged her shoulders and resumed her trek toward her base. Every so often, however, she would pause as she saw an identical blue car making turns at intersections or driving on roads near her path. _I hope this isn't a repeat of what happened with Ellie_ , Quinn thought to herself as she continued walking back to her base.

By the time Quinn reached her base, she had become almost paranoid as she checked each street for signs of the blue car. Halfway between the end of the street and her front lawn, Quinn saw a large black dog entering an alley between two homes. Quinn quickly sprinted to her base and opened the door before slamming it shut behind her, locking it. "Computer, set the gnomes to extra surveillance mode, and activate full stealth surveillance for the perimeter," Quinn ordered as she marched over to the toilet in the kitchen before hopping in and descending to the lower levels of her base.

" **Affirmative. Beginning full stealth perimeter surveillance,** " The Computer responded as Quinn reached her main lab. Taking off her disguise and placing it in her PAK, Quinn walked over to a large table and grabbed onto it before taking a series of deep breaths. "Shar is dead, Quinn. You killed her, and Ellie hasn't spoken to you in months, so it isn't her that's doing this," Quinn said to herself.

One of the doors to the lab opened and Skoodge walked in, sipping a soda. "Hey Quinn!" he said with a wave. Quinn yelped before regaining her composure. "Skoodge! What are you doing!?" Quinn asked him. "I'm... drinking a soda," Skoodge said. "Yes, I can see that. Have there been any perimeter breaches today?" Quinn replied.

"Perimeter breaches? No, why?" Skoodge replied. "I think someone is stalking me," Quinn said. "You mean like that human who attacked you the other month?" Skoodge asked her in response. "Not like that. Shar was trying to get my attention and give me clues to her identity, but this... this person is different. I think that there's also a dog trying to stalk me as well," Quinn said.

"A dog? Is it... large and black?" Skoodge asked her. "Yeah! How did you know?" Quinn asked him in response. "The base's security cameras and surveillance devices have picked up the dog wandering the neighborhood, and sometimes coming close to the base. Although, it's never actually breached the perimeter. It's always stayed at least one house away," Skoodge explained.

"Very well. Have the base be on the lookout for a blue car. I'm going to perform some maintenance on my PAK for a little bit. I think the legs are having joint problems," Quinn said. "Let me know if anything happens," she added as she made her way over to a door and entered a hallway leading to another lab.

* * *

 **The Massive, Flagship Of The Irken Armada...**

Almighty Tallest Purple grabbed a handful of potato chips before shoving them into his mouth as he watched Almighty Tallest Red frown at the information on the screen in front of him. "So... foud eddyfhing fheht?" Purple asked through a mouthful of chips. "What?" Red asked his counterpart. Purple swallowed his food before speaking. "Have you found anything yet?" he asked again.

"Depends on what you mean," Red said. "Well, you still haven't explained just what it is that's been bugging you lately," Purple said. "First of all, I _did_ tell you what I was looking for and just what was bugging me. Second, this is a massive archive, with millions of entries that need to be sorted through properly in order to find the exact ones that I'm looking for. And third, how long have you been away from the bridge?" Red asked Purple.

"Does it matter? I mean, the bridge crew know not to do anything stupid in our absence," Purple said. "Well, go back anyway. You're annoying me," Red said. "Aww, come on! I'm bored!" Purple retorted. "Why don't you go read one of Skoodge's snack reports or something? I think he sent us a few new ones a day ago," Red said. "Really!? Sweet!" Purple exclaimed joyously as he quickly exited the data archive room, located three decks below the bridge. "Finally," Red said to himself before looking back at the screen.

"I lost my place. I... I lost my place! Drrraaaarrgh! Dammit!" Red exclaimed furiously. "Now I have to-wait, computer! What was the last accessed file or folder in this section of the archive?" Red asked. " **Do you mean the most recent data record that you have accessed, or in general?** " the ship's computer asked him. "The most recent one that I've accessed," Red clarified. " **That would be the one that you have opened right now on that console,** " the computer replied.

"Okay. So, which entry am I on?" Red asked the computer. " **Entry Zero-Zero-Zero-One-Six-Three,** " the computer replied. "Thank you," Red said before he resumed reading the data log.

* * *

Date: Friday, March 20th, 2098

Stacey Morgendorffer closed her math book after finishing the last bit of homework from Mr. Phelps' class. She got up from her chair and retrieved the box of robot parts from underneath it as she prepared to begin analyzing the SIR unit and cataloging her findings. Before she could begin, however, the doorbell rang.

At first, Stacey ignored the doorbell, until she remembered that she was the only one home that evening. Rushing out of her room and down the stairs, Stacey opened the door to see Jane standing alone. "Uh, hi Jane. Where's Daria?" Stacey asked her. "Oh, she's out with Tom... again," Jane said with a hint of bitterness in her voice. "She's been hanging out with him a lot lately, hasn't she?" Stacey asked Jane, which caused the taller girl to frown.

"Yeah," Jane said curtly. "Um... did you want to... come inside?" Stacey asked her. "Sure," Jane said before stepping inside the house. Stacey quickly closed the door to keep the cold air outside. "So, why exactly did you come all the way over here?" Stacey asked her inquisitively. "I honestly don't know," Jane said with a sigh before sitting down on the couch in the living room.

"I mean... yeah, it's nice seeing Daria open up to other people, but I miss hanging out with her," Jane said. "Um... okay," Stacey said. "So, do you wanna check out the robot I'm looking at upstairs?" Stacey then asked Jane. "Robot?" Jane asked her curiously. "Yeah! It's the robot that Andrea gave to me the other month. Come on!" Stacey said as she raced up the stairs. "Eh, why not?" Jane asked herself before getting off the couch and following Stacey up the stairs and into the younger girl's room.

Looking at the box on the floor, Jane saw the various parts of the robot. "Is that like the robot that Quinn and Andrea have?" Jane asked her. "Yeah. Mimi said that it's a SIR unit named KIR, and it belonged to that Zim alien who kidnapped Andrea when she was a baby. You do remember that story that Andrea's aunt told us at Thanksgiving, don't you?" Stacey asked her. "Yeah, I remember," Jane said. In truth, she only remembered bits and pieces of Gaz's story.

"So... have you figured out how to turn it on or anything?" Jane asked Stacey. "Um, no. I still haven't even found a connection port to plug anything into it yet either," Stacey said with a dejected sigh. "Soooo... it's just junk then?" Jane asked her. "I don't wanna say that, but... that's all I can call it for the time being," Stacey said with a frown.

"Well, this was an evening well spent," Jane said as she stuffed her hands into her red jacket's pockets. "Look, I've convinced Andrea to join me on a little mission tomorrow. If you don't wanna spend your weekend all bored and alone, you're welcome to join us," Stacey said as she glanced over at Jane. "Fine with me. Apparently Tom is taking Daria to some kind of... book club thing on Saturday, and I'd rather not listen to my brother and his band practice in the basement all day either," Jane said.

"Huh. Daria never tells _me_ about her plans and things like that," Stacey said curiously. "Wait, really? You're her sister, aren't you?" Jane asked her. "I am, but we aren't exactly two peas in a pod when it comes to our closeness. Not like the two of you," Stacey replied. "You're kidding, right?" Jane snorted in response. "I'm serious. She'll tell me that she's hanging out with you on the day that she's hanging out with you, but she never tells me anything in advance, and she doesn't share any details either," Stacey said.

"Huh," Jane said, intrigued. "So, what other... _alien stuff_ do you have around here?" Jane asked her. "Well, I still have that Spittle Runner in the garage, although I haven't exactly spent a lot of time using it lately," Stacey said. Just then, both girls felt a small tremor as the house briefly shook.

"Did you feel that?" Stacey asked Jane. "Yeah," Jane replied, startled. "Was it an earthquake?" Stacey asked. "I don't know. Maybe," Jane said. "Do you think anyone else noticed it?" Stacey asked the older girl. "I know my brother probably didn't," Jane said.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base...**

"Computer! Begin analysis of that tremor!" Quinn ordered. " **Affirmative. Beginning analysis of Lawndale geography and geological data to find the source of the tremor,** " The Computer announced. "I may not have been here for a full yearly cycle, but I've studied the geography and geology of this filthy town long enough to know that there aren't any fault lines even close to this location," Quinn said to herself as she crossed her arms.

"Quinn! Did you feel that tremor!?" Skoodge asked her. "Yes, Skoodge. I did feel it. I'm having the base conduct an investigation into the cause and possible source," Quinn said in response. "Oh. Um, okay then," Skoodge replied. Quinn then narrowed her eyes in thought as she hopped onto a chair and spun around in it. "I wonder... it could be a coincidence, _but_... I need to collect more data," Quinn said to herself.

* * *

Date: Saturday, March 21st, 2098

Quinn piloted the Voot Cruiser over the forest on the outskirts on Lawndale as she made her way over to a barren quarry near a construction company depot. There was a truck depot nearby as well, but the location was otherwise uninhabited as Quinn looked over the coordinates given to her by the base's computer last night. "This is where the focal point was located," she said to herself before she set the Voot Cruiser down near the quarry. She quickly donned her disguise as she retrieved a scanner from her PAK and a small metal capsule.

Adjusting some rings and lights on the capsule, Quinn set it into the ground and watched as it proceeded to spin down into the dirt below. She quickly focused her attention on the scan-pad as she extended the screen and waited for the small probe to begin its in-depth analysis of the area. She stayed in her spot for over an hour as she waited for the signal from the probe to show something on the scanner.

"This doesn't make any sense," Quinn said to herself in frustration. "There should at least be outlines of the terrain, even worm holes or burrows from those little furry things that hide underground in the winter," she added. "Maybe the probe is broken?" she asked herself before tapping a button on the scanner.

A few minutes later, the probe returned to the surface and compacted itself back into a capsule. Quinn quickly found another spot to deploy it and watched the scanner again, this time seeing signs of normal underground dirt and rock strata. Quinn tapped an icon on the screen and expanded the probe's range, this time seeing a portion of the screen's corner showing nothing while the rest of the screen showed dirt, strata, and even fossils of various organisms from Earth's past.

Quinn looked over at the large barren plot of dirt near the construction and truck depots. "An underground base of some kind? No, even my own base would show up on a scanner like this," she said to herself. "Unless..." Quickly grabbing another probe from her PAK, Quinn made her way over to the quarry itself and put the new probe into the ground. It only got so far before she saw the message on the screen saying that the signal was lost.

"Either there's a cave under here, or there's a structure with special material blocking the probe's sensors," Quinn said to herself. She furrowed her brows in consternation as she thought about the implications of this development. As she walked back to the Voot Cruiser, she saw something moving in the distance. Taking out a special visor goggle set, Quinn increased their magnification and saw that a large black dog was retreating into the forest.

"The dog," Quinn said to herself. "It followed me all the way out here? But why?" she asked herself uneasily. Quinn quickly retrieved a laser pistol from her PAK as she closed in on the Voot Cruiser. She quickly got in and took off for her base, not noticing the small object that had been attached to the rear of the vehicle.

* * *

 **Lawndale Mall, AKA Cranberry Commons...**

Stacey, Jane, Andrea, and Mimi walked through the mall as they made their way over to the food court. "You know, I can't exactly see how this is a 'mission' by any means," Jane commented. "We're here to pick up some supplies before we head out later," Andrea said. "Yeah, and I actually have an assignment from Mr. O'Neil that requires going out and observing everyday life for a poem or something," Stacey said.

"Oh, I remember that assignment. I went to the Zon and wrote about people leaving every time Mystic Spiral played Ice Box Woman," Jane said. "How is it that your brother and his band can still manage to get any gigs if they keep playing that song?" Andrea asked Jane.

"The owner of the Zon told them that they have to some up with a new song to play every three gigs or else he'd throw them out," Jane replied. "But... he didn't say that they couldn't sing that particular song?" Andrea asked as they walked past several tables and chairs. "Well, he said that they can sing it, as long as it's only once every five gigs," Jane said. "Your brother does know how to count, though, right?" Andrea asked.

"I honestly don't know," Jane said. "So... where's Daria again?" Andrea asked. "She's with Tom... again," Jane said. "On a date?" Andrea asked her. "Well... not... really," Jane said, flustered. "Wait... I thought they were going on a date," Stacey said as she turned around. "Well, Tom invited us both to hang out at the same event, but... I figured Daria would appreciate being alone with him," Jane said.

"Hold on, last night you were moping about Daria spending more time with Tom than with you, and now you're saying that you actually had the _option_ of joining them? You _chose_ to not tag along when the offer was there? Then why the hell were you moping, Jane?" Stacey asked her incredulously. "Well-" "No, she has a point, Jane. If Tom gave both of you the option of hanging out together, then you have no reason to be acting all bitter about Daria hanging out with him when you chose to stay behind," Andrea interjected.

"I-I just... I'd ending up feeling like a fifth wheel anyway," Jane said grumpily. "And how do you know this?" Andrea asked her. "Um... I... I don't," Jane said. "Jane... you have issues," Andrea said. "Like you're one to talk, Miss Goth and Brooding," Jane said. "What? Jane, I like the Goth _aesthetic_ ," Andrea said. "I don't actually brood and wax philosophic about the state of humanity and other people," Andrea said.

"Besides, I'm probably the most well-adjusted of the three of us here," Andrea added. "I think _I'm_ pretty well adjusted," Stacey said. "Stacey... sure why not," Andrea said. Mimi narrowed her eyes at Andrea and shook her head. "So... Chinese, pizza, pretzels, fried chicken, or tacos?" Stacey asked as she eyed the various food vendors. "Well, we could try Bronco Taco. They're edible," Jane suggested.

"True, very true," Andrea said, nodding her head. "Hey, there's a gyro place over there. When did that get added?" Jane asked. "Hey, you're right. Didn't that used to be a Thai food vendor?" Andrea asked her. "Hm, they must've gone out of business," Jane said.

"Wait... that sign says G-Y-R-O. Why are you guys pronouncing it as 'year-o'?" Stacey asked them. "It's a Greek word. That's how you're supposed to pronounce it," Jane replied. "Oh. I didn't know that," Stacey said. "Let's just get some Chinese and be done with it," Andrea suggested. "Yeah, Chinese is good." "Suits me."

As the girls made their way to the Chinese food vendor, a familiar face showed up. "Hey, Kol!" Stacey said excitedly as she waved at the blond boy. Kol looked at her and waved back, albeit reluctantly. Stacey walked over to him, leaving Andrea and Jane standing in line. "Um, we aren't paying for her food," Andrea said. "Stace, get back here and order your food first!" Jane called out to her.

"Just a minute!" Stacey retorted as she walked over to Kol. "Hey, Kol, wanna get some Chinese food with us?" Stacey asked him. "Uh... sure," he said as he followed Stacey over to where Jane and Andrea were standing. "Hey, is it okay if Kol joins us today?" Stacey asked the other two girls. Jane raised an eyebrow and Andrea shrugged her shoulders. "Well, since you're the one in charge of today's activities, I don't see why not," Andrea said.

Mimi narrowed her eyes at Kol and studied him as he stood in line with the girls. Something about the boy had her on edge, and all of her sensors were busy analyzing the boy for signs of danger. Mimi?" Andrea asked as she noticed the SIR unit's odd behavior. Mimi glanced up at Andrea briefly before returning her attention to Kol.

"So, what are you doing here today?" Stacey asked Kol. "I was looking for a DVD at one of the stores here, but I couldn't find it anywhere, so I was actually just coming over here to get something to eat before heading back home," Kol replied. "What was the DVD?" Stacey asked him. "Oh, it's a foreign film from France. I think the English title is _Two Idiots And A Bomb_ ," Kol said.

"Huh. I've never heard of that one," Stacey said. "Yeah, well, what are you all doing here?" Kol asked the group. "Well, Stacey here needs to pick up some supplies for... something, and then she needs to work on a project for Mr. O'Neil," Jane said. "And you two are... tagging along?" Kol asked them. "Pretty much. All of my homework is finished, so I don't really have a whole lot else to do today," Andrea said. "Yeah, and I... don't have much else to do either, except listen to my brother and his band practice for next weekend's gig at the Zon," Jane said.

"Your brother's in a band?" Kol asked Jane. "Yup. Mystic Spiral," Jane said. "Oh. Those guys," Kol said, having actually ventured out to the Zon a few times to scout the place. "You've heard them play?" Jane asked him. "Unfortunately," Kol said. "I know what you mean," Jane replied. "Excuse me, are you going to order?" the woman at the register of Wing Wok asked the group.

The girls and Kol turned around and looked at the menu before ordering and handing over their money. They stood over at the end of the counter as they waited. "So, Stacey... I don't suppose that the assignment you got from Mr. O'Neil is the same one that I got, is it?" Kol asked her. "Well, the assignment is to observe people going about their daily lives in public and write poetry about my observations. But, you're in my English class, so you should know that," Stacey said.

"I was hoping that I'd misheard Mr. O'Neil," Kol said. "Sorry. I guess you haven't gotten very far on it then, have you?" Stacey asked him. "No," Kol replied. "Wanna work on it with me?" Stacey asked him. "Eh, why not?" Kol replied with a shrug of his shoulders. As he glanced around, he saw a small green dog walking over to the taco vendor.

"Does anyone else see that?" Kol asked as he pointed to Bronco Taco. "Oh, it's GIR," Jane said. "If GIR's here... then Quinn can't be too far away," Stacey said darkly. "Um, guys? That cashier just took money from the green dog without a second glance or any hesitation," Kol said with a hint of worry in his voice.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much. GIR is actually pretty harmless on his own," Stacey said as she scanned the food court for any sign of Quinn. "Are you sure?" Kol asked her. "Positive. It's Quinn that you have to watch out for," Stacey replied. "You're _still_ bitter about that organ thing, aren't you?" Jane asked her. "What organ thing?" Kol asked Jane.

"Please don't get her started on that," Andrea pleaded as she watched the food being prepared. "Several months ago, Quinn-" "Please don't talk about it while we're eating," Andrea begged Stacey. "Fine, I'll wait until we're done eating, but Kol has a right to know about Quinn's reign of terror," Stacey said. "Fine, just... _after_ we're done eating," Andrea said.

* * *

 **Later, Deep Inside Quinn's Base...**

Quinn frowned as she looked at the readings from the scan probe and compared them with the geological surveys that had been conducted around Lawndale months earlier. "That area used to be dirt and rock, but now there's something else down there," Quinn said to herself as Skoodge entered the room. "Hey, Quinn, have you seen GIR anywhere?" Skoodge asked her. "Huh?" Quinn asked him.

"Have you seen GIR anywhere recently? I haven't been able to find him all day," Skoodge reiterated. "Um... actually, no. I haven't seen him at all either," Quinn said. "It's just... it's been rather quiet inside the base," Skoodge said. "Yes, it _has_ been rather peaceful today, hasn't it?" Quinn said in response. "Um, aren't you worried about GIR?" Skoodge asked her.

"No, not really. He can take care of himself," Quinn replied. Looking at the screen in front of Quinn, Skoodge saw the survey maps and readings. "Is that what you were checking out this morning?" he asked Quinn. "Yes. What used to be a barren patch of dirt is now home to some sort of unknown... something! I don't know what it is, and it's driving me crazy!" Quinn snarled.

Skoodge looked over the readings on the screen. "So... the probes didn't pick up anything regarding composition?" Skoodge asked her. "No. It's like that portion of ground doesn't even exist to the probes, and that is what troubles me. It _could_ be a base of some kind, but even then the probes would still be able to show me something," Quinn said.

"Say, Quinn... what if you used a different type of probe? Maybe something newer or something of a different design?" Skoodge suggested. "Like what? A probe made by humans or some other inferior species?" Quinn retorted. "Well, it was only a suggestion," Skoodge said. "I know that, but I don't think that using another species' technology will-hold on... maybe you're onto something," Quinn said as a thought occurred to her. "I wonder..."

* * *

Date: Monday, March 23rd, 2098

As the final bell rang, Quinn stepped into the hallways of Lawndale High School, quickly making her way over to the rear entrance near the parking lot. Quinn immediately stepped outside and watched as various students, mostly juniors and seniors, walked over to their bikes and cars. Seeing the blue car sitting in the lot, Quinn hid herself as she waited for Kol to exit the building.

Soon, the blond-haired boy exited the building and made his way over to the blue car, opening the door after inserting a key and turning it. He quickly closed the door and started car, driving away from the parking lot. As stealthily as she could, Quinn made her way behind the car and near the wall of the school as she saw Kol's car take a left turn at the traffic light.

Walking briskly on the sidewalk, Quinn observed Kol's car make a right turn onto the next street, which led into the downtown area where most of the office buildings were located. The blue car soon made another right turn and disappeared from sight. Quinn was soon shaken from her silent observations by an annoying voice.

"What are you doing, Quinn?" Stacey asked her. Quinn turned her head and looked at the girl, regarding her with little interest. "Oh, I'm just observing traffic patterns. It's part of my next plan to cripple your infrastructure," Quinn lied with a smile. Stacey's eyes widened.

"Whatever it is that you're doing, I'll stop you," Stacey said. "Is that a fact? I put the Millennium Mall out of commission for, what's it been, several months now?" Quinn asked with a smirk. "Besides, there are much bigger things for me to worry about than you and your unsuccessful attempts at impeding my mission," Quinn said snidely before walking away.

* * *

The rest of the week proceeded in a similar fashion to Monday. Quinn would silently observe Kol and try to reach his car before he did at the end of each school day in order to plant a spy bug on it. However, Kol was always able to reach the car before her, or he would notice her in the hallway. Quinn also noticed that each day of the week would have a tremor felt throughout Lawndale at either dawn or dusk. Quinn was positive that there was a connection to Kol, but without being able to track him, she had no way of confirming her suspicions.

* * *

 **[BEGIN MONTAGE]**

Tuesday, March 24th, 2098

Early in the morning as she prepares to leave for school, Quinn feels a tremor as several buildings shake and multiple car alarms go off. She quickly resumes her trek to the school after it subsides.

Quinn glances over at Kol in a science class, only for her own experiment to bubble over and destroy her test tubes. The teacher, Mr. Deckard, frowns at her and points at the safety rules written in bold on a poster.

Kol sits down with Stacey and the others at Lunch, picking at his food as he notices Quinn glaring at him from her table. Stacey whispers something into his ear, and he smirks at Quinn wickedly, before taking his baloney sandwich over to the green-skinned female. Quinn backs away from the horrible lunch meat in disgust and horror. Kol chuckles at her reaction before walking back over to the table with the girls.

After the final class of the day, Quinn makes her way over to the back doors, only for Kol to open the door for her, forcing her to walk away in order to save face. Kol watches her retreat with a victorious smirk on his face.

Wednesday, March 25th, 2098

Kol talks to Stacey in the hallway before walking into homeroom with her. Jeffy points at him and makes a rude remark about Stacey, prompting Kol to shove an eraser into the boy's mouth. Miss Bitters is asleep at her desk.

During Math with Mr. Phelps, Quinn uses a PAK leg to sneakily get Stacey's attention, making Mr. Phelps yell at ehr for not listening to his lesson. Kol rests his chin on his desk as he waits for the lesson to resume.

At Gym, the class participates in dodge-ball. Quinn and Stacey are both on opposing sides, but Kol is put on Stacey's team. Quinn quickly eliminates most of Kol and Stacey's team, while her own team is eliminated almost single-handedly by Kol. Stacey manages to eliminate Sandi, and just as Quinn is about to get her, Kol throws a ball at her head, knocking off one of her contacts. Quinn quickly forces the ball back onto her face to hide her wardrobe malfunction before quickly slipping the contact back into place. Kol smirks at her knowingly.

After the final class, Kol sees Quinn exiting the rear school doors just ahead of him, and slams them open as he approaches, knocking Quinn over from behind. He stops walking only for a second as he looks down at the fallen female, snorting at her before walking over to his blue vehicle. Quinn glares at him from her spot on the ground.

In the evening, Stacey and Daria watch TV together, with Tom joining them. As Tom offers a bowl of popcorn to Stacey, the house begins to shake, and several pictures on the wall fall to the floor. Stacey looks around after the tremor subsides, seeing Tom covering Daria with his body before getting up.

Thursday, March 26th, 2098

Skoodge throws up after eating a muffin given to him by GIR. Quinn laughs at his expense before she dons her disguise and exits the base, heading for school. On her way there, she feels the ground shake yet again, this time dodging a falling light pole and an out-of-control car.

During homeroom, Quinn sits down in her seat, only to jump up in surprise. She picks a tack up from the chair and glares at Kol and Stacey. Stacey is giggling, while Kol is merely smirking at her. Quinn growls at them, before Miss Bitters orders her to get back in her seat.

During English class, Kol is selected by Mr. O'Neil to read something. Kol quickly diverges from the text in the book and O'Neil covers his mouth in horror as Kol spins a dark and violent tale for the rest of the class. Quinn raises an eyebrow at a small selection of words that Kol uses in his fictional story, as some of the words he uses are familiar to her.

At lunch, Kol "accidentally" drops an apple on the floor in front of Quinn as he walks by her, causing the female to trip and fall on her face. Quinn growls and prepares to lash out at Kol, only to see Daria glaring at her. Quinn immediately scowls at the girls and walks away to the table that nobody else sits at.

After the last class of the day, Quinn rushes to the back doors of the school, only to see that Kol has already entered his vehicle and is driving away. Quinn screams and curses at her luck while Kol drives away from the school. Walking away, Quinn sees two squirrels screwing each other on a tree branch.

 **[END MONTAGE]**

* * *

Quinn finally caught a break on the last day of the school week.

* * *

Date: Friday, March 27th, 2098

"Hey, Kol!" Stacey called out as Kol made his way to the rear doors of the school. Kol stopped walking and turned around to see Stacey walking up to him. "Oh, hey Stacey," Kol said as the girl approached him. "Um, I don't have a lot of homework this weekend, and I was kind of wondering... would you like to go get something to eat with me? Or maybe help me out with some homework? Or... um, maybe just hang out?" Stacey asked him.

"Hang out? So, you aren't going to ask em to help you stalk that green-skinned girl like some kind of obsessive... stalker?" Kol asked her. "Oh, please! I can do that on my own any day of the week," Stacey said dismissively. "Of course," Kol said dryly.

"But, anyway, do you... want... to?" Stacey asked him hopefully. "Well... I kind of already have plans. I... have a dentist appointment early tomorrow morning, so I have to go to bed early. Sorry, Stacey, but... maybe some other time," Kol said, putting the minimum effort required to sound heartfelt. Stacey's smile faltered. "Oh. Okay. I-I understand," she said as she slowly walked away.

 _That girl is just way too obsessive for her own good_ , Kol thought to himself as he walked away. Exiting the rear doors of the school, Kol made his way over to his car and saw Quinn hiding near the doors of the school as he turned around. "Quinn... mind telling me what you've been trying to accomplish this week? Are you trying to break into my car?" Kol asked her as he walked over to crouching female.

"Well... it is normal for girls to be attracted to cars," Quinn said. "No, girls are attracted to _guys_ with cars," Kol corrected her. "I've seen girls going after other girls with cars," Quinn retorted. "Fair enough, but... Quinn, whatever you're doing needs to stop," Kol said. "I don't know what you're talking about," Quinn replied. Kol raised an eyebrow. "You know, maybe Stacey's right. Maybe you _are_ an alien. A horrible and stupid one, with no chance of ever being anything more than a tiny dot on a backwater planet that no one cares about," Kol said darkly.

Quinn raised an eyebrow at him. "Who are you really?" Quinn asked Kol. "I am Kol," Kol replied before turning around and walking over to his car. "Oh, Quinn... you're standing on baloney," Kol called out. Quinn immediately freaked out and danced around, trying to see where the baloney was, only to look up as she heard Kol's laughter before he got in his car and drove away.

Quinn smirked as he drove away, unaware that she had already managed to place a tracking device on his vehicle. Raising her arm, Quinn activated the transmitter. "Skoodge, this is Quinn. Are you following the signal?" Quinn asked into a wrist-watch shaped device on her arm.

" _Affirmative. The Voot Cruiser is set to autopilot and will arrive at the school in five minutes, disguised as a pink car. The windows will be tinted and a holographic projection of the robot parents will show up when the doors open_ ," Skoodge replied. "Excellent!" Quinn said gleefully before ending the transmission.

Quinn raced over to the front of the school and waited for the Voot Cruiser to arrive. She quickly hopped in once it parked itself and took off, following the signal from Kol's vehicle as it took a myriad of turns through the streets of Lawndale. "It's almost as if he's going in circles," Quinn muttered to herself as she followed the signal to the downtown area.

The signal soon stopped at a fixed location, indicating that Kol's vehicle had stopped moving. "Wait... this building doesn't have a parking garage or any spaces near it," Quinn said to herself as she looked around the buildings of Downtown Lawndale. Kol's blue car was nowhere in sight, even though the signal was coming from right in front of her.

"He'd have to be in the building!" Quinn exclaimed as she looked at the distance between her and the signal. The building next to her was a simple office building, although it was owned by the same construction company that utilized the vehicle and construction depots that she had investigated on Saturday. "Did he... find the tracker and throw it away?" Quinn asked herself.

She quickly scanned the ground for any sign of the tracker, but couldn't find it. "So where is it? Where's Kol?" Quinn asked herself. She then saw the signal begin moving again, and saw it cross right in front of her. Quinn desperately looked around, trying to see the blue car.

"I don't get it! Where is he!?" she asked herself in frustration. She quickly followed the signal before it soon disappeared. "Now what happened!?" Quinn shrieked. "Dammit!" she hissed before changing course and heading back to her base.

 **Twenty Minutes Later...**

Quinn stepped inside the front door and pushed the robto parents out of the way. "I don't get it! How did he disappear like that!?" Quinn shrieked in anger. "Aww... someone needs some cheering up," Robo-Mom said. "I know just the thing!" Robo-Dad said. Both robots soon began riverdancing. Quinn's left eye twitched in annoyance.

" **Proximity warning! Someone is approaching the front door!** " The Computer announced. Quinn quickly pushed the robot parents back into their closet before looking out a window to see Kol standing at the door, along with the large black dog that had been following her all week. Quinn furrowed her brows in confusion and anger.

Walking over to the front door, she quickly opened it and glared at Kol. "Kol, what a pleasant surprise," Quinn spat. Kol snorted in response. "So... is that your dog?" Quinn asked him. "Yes. His name is Geist," Kol replied with a smile.

"Look, why are you here?" Quinn asked him with venom in her voice. "Why? Well, it's really quite simple. The time for games has come to an end, Quinn. I've teased and tormented you enough, so now it's time for the main event," Kol said. "Main event?" Quinn asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Quinn, I'm not sure if you've picked up on this or not, but I need to make it clear. I don't like you. I _loathe_ you," Kol said. "I _knew_ it! Human affection _is_ based on pain!" Quinn exclaimed. "Affection!? Quinn, I said _loathe_ , not love," Kol corrected her. "Oh. So... what exactly did I do to you?" Quinn asked him. "What did you do? For starters, you ruined my life and my career," Kol said. "Um... what?" Quinn asked.

"It all started decades ago, on the planet Devastis," Kol said. "Devastis!? That's an _Irken_ planet! No human has ever been there!" Quinn interjected. "That's right. I haven't retracted my disguise yet," Kol said with a smirk. In a matter of seconds, his head and body began to split apart into hundreds of tiny wires, threads, and cables that soon retracted back into a a series of ports lining the PAK on his back, revealing the blue-eyed Irken underneath. Kol was a good twelve inches shorter than Quinn. He wore a dark purple variant of the standard Irken uniform, and the usual boots and gloves.

"Y-You... you're _Irken!_ " Quinn gasped. "Excellent deductive skills," Kol said. "You're the one who gave Irken weaponry and equipment to that Shar lady, aren't you!?" Quinn exclaimed. "Correct again," Kol said. "Aren't you!?" Quinn asked him again. "I just said-" "AREN'T YOU!?" Quinn asked once more. "I just said I was!" Kol snapped back at her.

"What were you thinking!? Giving a pitiful human equipment that should only be touched by Irken hands?" Quinn asked him angrily. "First of all, she wanted the same thing I did. She wanted to make you suffer," Kol said. "Okay, I can understand Shar attacking me, but what about you?" Quinn asked him.

"As I started earlier, this all began decades ago on Devastis," Kol explained. "See, I was undergoing training to become an invader, but on the final day of testing, a certain someone caused a massive blackout on that section of the continent. Testing went uninterrupted in the other sectors, but I and three hundred other Irkens in training were unable to complete our tests in time. We were disqualified and our previous achievement became void. Half of us were able to retake the test, as there were a hundred unused testing units still available," Kol said.

"However, the rest of us were forced to wait, until the Control Brains decided that the remainder of us would be re-designated for testing of other roles; roles that were beneath us, like sewage cleanup, and maintenance work. We were supposed to be the elite! And all it took was an act of recklessness from a single Irken to ruin everything. Many of us pleaded with the Control Brains for another chance, but our fates were sealed. Their decisions were final, and not even the Tallest could change that," Kol continued, his voice carrying a tone of indignation in it.

"After being sent to Vort as a sewage maintenance worker, I started searching the available data archives for information regarding the incident. I soon discovered who had caused it, and I eventually tracked you down to Foodcourtia, but you had already left by the time I got there," Kol said. "Sizz-Lorr mistook me for a spare service drone and I was forced to work at Shloogorgh's Flavor Monster. I was stuck there until news of Invader Skoodge's conquest of Blorch reached us. There was a massive influx of Irkens to Foodcourtia, as well as celebrations from the workers who lived there. During that time, I managed to escape from that horrible establishment, discovering that my ship had remained untouched in my time of servitude," Kol said, stopping to take a breath.

"So, after discovering where you had been sent by the Tallest, I made my way here, and I've been watching you ever since, biding my time until the moment was right," Kol said. "So, you want to steal my mission to prove your worth as an invader, is that it?" Quinn asked him. "Steal your mission? You're so dense," Kol said darkly. Quinn gasped. "Your after my base too!?" Quinn asked him.

"What? No, I'm after revenge," Kol retorted. "You're after revenge?" Quinn asked him. Kol glared at her with a frown. "Yes, Quinn. I just told you that," he said in an annoyed tone. "But... you're _not_ after my mission?" Quinn asked him. "What mission?" Kol asked her. "The mission that the Tallest gave me," Quinn stated. Kol snorted. "Oh, you're in denial. I'd laugh if that weren't so sad," Kol said, shaking his head.

"So, why are you here?" Quinn asked him. "I just told you why I'm here; I'm after revenge," Kol said, exasperated. "So, where is it? How do you plan on getting this vengeance of yours?" Quinn asked him, looking around. "Oh, that's simple. First, I'm going to cripple your base, leaving you defenseless. Then, I'm going to humiliate you and expose you to the humans. After that, I'm going to conquer this planet on my own, and prove my worth as an invader," Kol explained as he retrieved a metal sphere from his PAK. He pressed a few buttons that then began to glow, before throwing the sphere into Quinn's base.

"You missed," Quinn said flatly. "I wasn't aiming for you," Kol said with a smirk. Quinn raised an eyebrow and turned around to see the sphere dissolve into hundreds of tiny dots. "Nano-bots!" Quinn gasped. "Yep, and that's not all! They can release an electromagnetic pulse!" Kol said giddily. The nano-bots swarmed over the house-level of the base before digging into the wires and cables, quickly traveling through the infrastructure of the base before delivering their payload of EMPs.

Quinn watched in horror as the base's house disguise began to falter and flicker, and the coils and cables and threads and wires and pipes all became visible, with some of them falling apart and untangling and disconnecting from each other. "No! My base! My beautiful base!" Quinn cried out. "What a beautiful symphony," Kol whispered to himself as he watched Quinn cry out in despair.

Kol briefly heard a faint muffled cry from below the house level, before shrugging his shoulders and turning around "Geist!" he called out. The dog quickly turned around and followed him back to his blue car, which Quinn finally saw was actually a blue Spittle Runner with an advanced cloaking system.

"Goodbye Quinn! Have fun with your worthless base!" Kol called out before hopping into the Spittle Runner, which then took off into the sky. "Kooolll! Koooollll!" Quinn yelled out in rage at the retreating vehicle.

Inside his Spittle Runner, Kol laughed his ass off at Quinn's predicament. "I feel good about the way that went. Don't you?" Kol asked Geist. The dog quickly split apart to reveal the SIR unit inside. The entire dog body had merely been an outer shell with modular parts attached to give the proportions of a wolf-dog.

" **Yes, Master,** " Geist said. The SIR unit had purple markings and highlights on it, including its eyes. It also had a mouth, much like GIR, although it was only used for speaking and as a means of inserting data storage devices into the unit. "Now, I think it's time we contacted the Tallest and informed them of our plan, don't you?" Kol asked the SIR unit. " **Yes, Master,** " Geist replied.

Meanwhile, back at Quinn's base, Skoodge had managed to use a manual access tunnel to reach the top of the base and ascertain the damage. "What happened, Quinn!?" Skoodge asked, quickly donning his disguise after realizing that anyone could see him now. "What happened? What happened!? I'll tell you what happened! We've been sabotaged by another Irken! His name is Kol, and he's after revenge for... something!" Quinn exclaimed.

"You wouldn't be referring to the Second Devastis Training Blackout, would you?" Skoodge asked her. "Eh, maybe. But the point is that Kol has struck against me, and crippled my base! This. Means. _War_ ," Quinn seethed. "Um... Quinn? Half of the base is completely inoperable right now. We need to get started on repairs before we can go after this guy," Skoodge said.

"Yes. And then... we strike back," Quinn said with a wicked grin as she looked at the small blue dot in the sky that soon disappeared into the horizon. "You're dead, Kol," Quinn hissed. "I don't care what kind of suffering you've endured in the past, because after I get my claws on you, you'll _wish_ that you were still on Foodcourtia."

 _ **TO BE CONTINUED...**_

* * *

Ending Theme: Love Is A Lie, by Lion

* * *

Author's Notes: Whew! It took me a while get this one written. I wanted to have some parallels to the Invader Zim episode, _Tak: The Hideous New Girl_ , but I didn't want it to feel like a simple character insertion fic.

The character of Kol was also originally supposed to be introduced when Stacey goes on a mission to scout Quinn's base at night and meets Kol on a street corner, but I chose the final version because it flowed better with the story. Also, when I first planned the outline of Invader Quinn, the character of Kol was actually supposed to be Zim himself, but after establishing Zim's role in Tak and Dib's backstory in The Lost Girl, I decided to bring in someone new, and thus, Kol was created, along with Geist. And yes, Geist is named after the main character of Koichi Ohata's OVA, _M.D. Geist_ (1986).

Something that many readers may have noticed is that despite taking on Zim's role and sharing many behaviors, Quinn is still very different from Zim. Now, Quinn and Zim _are_ connected to each other, and I've left several hints in previous chapters from the previous two seasons as to how that's possible, since neither Irken has ever encountered the other one.

Also, much like how Dib was fond of Tak in the original Invader Zim series, Stacey is fond of Kol, and just like Tak being tolerant of Dib, Kol is tolerant of Stacey. That's where the similarities end, as Kol is much more ruthless and manipulative than Tak.

In the next episode, Stacey learns the truth about Kol, Quinn strikes back, and Kol's grand plan is revealed. Be sure to let me know what you guys think in your reviews!


	4. Kol, The Repulsive New Boy, Part 02

**INVADER QUINN**

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV

Invader Zim is property of Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom

* * *

Episode 028/3-004: Kol, The Repulsive New Boy, Part 02

* * *

Date: Friday, March 27th, 2098

Quinn looked around the wreckage of her base. The nano-bots had not only produced a widespread EMP, but they had also torn up various systems physically as well before they had delivered their payload. The main computer system was offline, GIR was still GIR, Skoodge was busy attempting to start up the auxiliary power generator, which he had installed shortly after his arrival, and Tommy Sherman was sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Quinn wasn't sure of just when Sherman had been released from his confines, but that was a mystery for a later time. "How extensive is the damage?" Quinn asked Skoodge as she opened a panel to access the innards of a console. "What?" Skoodge asked her, having been preoccupied with preparing the backup generator for usage. "How extensive is the damage? Are there any systems still online?" Quinn reiterated.

"Unfortunately, only the most basic of systems are still functioning. The computer activated the emergency ventilation systems just before it was taken offline, so we won't suffocate, but well have to use the manual service ducts and ladders to move around until we can restore power. Hopefully the computer system wasn't too badly damaged by the EMP, but we may have to physically reactivate certain systems even _with_ the main computer turned on," Skoodge replied.

"What about the vehicle bay? Will our ships still work?" Quinn asked him. "I don't know. I haven't gotten that far. Once I get the backup generator turned on, we should be able to power up the main power cells and begin recharging them. That EMP knocked them out cold, and we'll be lucky if they still work after something like that," Skoodge said.

"The base has a modular repair system. Once we get the main computer back online, we should be able to activate that and have the base repair itself on its own," Quinn said. " _If_ I can get this thing started," Skoodge said. "The power cells are locked in this case, but I can't get it open," Skoodge said, trying to open a large case that held eight power cells in it.

"GIR, help Skoodge get the generator running. By the way, Skoodge, why didn't the backup generator kick in as soon as the main one was taken offline?" Quinn asked him. "I don't know. I can only guess that the nano-bots attacked the circuitry or the computer didn't enable it soon enough," Skoodge replied. "I see," Quinn said, frowning.

"Um, maybe you could help me out with this? I mean, do you really want _GIR_ to take part in such a delicate procedure?" Skoodge asked her. Quinn's eyes widened at the implications of Skoodge's words. "You have a very good point, Skoodge," Quinn said before marching over and helping him with getting the power cells out.

"Okay, we insert one power cell into this socket here, and that should give us the power to start activating the main controls for the doors and service lifts," Skoodge said. "We can make our way over to-" Skoodge was cut off as a blue light filled the room. "Okay, what's this?" Skoodge asked her. "I think it's the system coming back online," Quinn said as she heard a beep and looked over at a terminal to see a monitor flashing symbols on it.

"It is coming back online. GIR must have found-no, the base must be drawing power from outside sources. This _is_ a population center, so other homes next to us must have power systems that the base is tapping into right now," Quinn rambled. Skoodge nodded his head before inserting the power cell into the slot anyway and flipping a switch to turn on the isolated computer terminal in front of him.

"Let's get started," he said to himself as he began his task of getting the base back online. "Skoodge, you seem to have a handle on this. I'm going to see if I can find GIR and keep him out of trouble. I don't need him destroying something vital by accident," Quinn said as she marched over to an elevator tube. "Wait, we don't know if that-" Skoodge was too late.

Quinn pressed a button and ascended at an alarming speed, screaming in terror. "Never mind," Skoodge said, shaking his head at Quinn's impatience. He resumed his task of slowly getting the base back up and running.

* * *

 **The Massive, Flagship Of The Irken Armada**

"I'm bored," Almighty Tallest Purple said. "That's nice. I finally managed to find all of the data that I was looking for. The ship's computer is compiling it into a report to be sent to the terminal in my quarters," Tallest Red said to him. "What? You didn't get everything you needed after spending a week in that room?" Purple asked him.

"I did, but I want it all in an easy-to-access location," Red replied. "So... what were you looking for again?" Purple asked him. "I already told you. I was looking-" "Sirs, we have an incoming transmission from... Earth," a communications officer announced. "Quinn again?" Red asked in an annoyed tone. "No, My Tallest," the officer said.

"Huh, that's odd," Purple commented. "Put them through," Red said. On the main screen, an Irken with blue eyes appeared. " _Greetings, My Tallest. My name is Kol, and I wish to announce my intention to conquer the Earth for the Empire,_ " Kol said. "Um... we already kind of have someone on Earth," Purple said. " _Yes, but she is incompetent. I can blend in with the natives much better and I have already begun the preparations for the planet's conquest,_ " Kol replied.

"Uh-huh. So, what about Quinn? I mean, she's not exactly gonna let you take any of that so-called 'glory' for yourself," Red asked him. " _I have already crippled her base, and I will soon expose her to the humans in order to get rid of her. With her out of the way, I can easily prepare the planet for the Armada. I will, of course, prepare a large banquet of snacks for My Tallest as a bonus,_ " Kol said with a smile.

"Yeah... um, how about this? If you can succeed in eliminating Quinn or at least taking over the planet, then we'll recognize you for your efforts. However, if you do not succeed, and Quinn manages to recover, we will not acknowledge having ever communicated with you or having been aware of your presence on Earth. Do you understand that?" Tallest Red offered.

" _What do you mean? Her mission is pretty much a lie anyway. What's the point of hiding any connection to me?_ " Kol asked them. "See, Kol, Quinn is an extremely destruction individual, and that's just by accident. Imagine if she were to focus her destructive abilities on a single target _deliberately_ , with anger and a sense of vengeance guiding her. While we certainly hate Quinn, we really would rather not have such a situation take place if we can avoid it," Red explained.

" _Then I shall give you her corpse and her PAK after the planet has been conquered. I_ _ **will**_ _prove myself to you, My Tallest. I shall contact you by the end of the next weekly cycle. Kol out,_ " Kol said before ending the transmission.

"Wow. He's more full of himself than Quinn," Purple muttered. "Yeah. Let's just hope that he succeeds. We'll have another planet within our empire, and Quinn will be dead," Red said in agreement. "But... what about Skoodge?" Purple asked him. "Who cares? He'll probably survive anyway. He's practically indestructible," Red said dismissively. "That's _true_ ," Purple said in agreement.

* * *

 **Later That Evening, On Dega Street...**

"Let go of me!" Quinn cried out as a large hairy beast, otherwise known as a bear, slammed her into the ground. "Oh my god, there's a bear attacking that poor girl!" a bystander cried out in terror. "GIR, help!" Quinn cried out as the bear picked her up with its paws and slammed her into a light pole. "My spine!" she cried out.

GIR squeaked in response before he began break-dancing on the sidewalk, causing the bear to drop Quinn and start clapping in appreciation. Quinn seized the opportunity and got up before she ran away from the bear, only to turn around and run back, leaping into the air and delivering a mighty kick to the bear's head, sending it falling to the ground. "Take that, giant stink-beast of hair and twigs!" Quinn cried out victoriously. "I have conquered the giant vermin! And yet, I am still no closer to finding the location of Kol's base," Quinn said to herself as she grabbed GIR and walked away.

"There are only two people with the resources necessary for finding Kol's-wait a minute! That quarry I investigated last weekend! The strange readings, the block dog, Kol's increased malicious behavior towards me; it all makes sense. That's where his base is located, and he disabled my base to keep me from attacking it!" Quinn said out loud to herself, drawing several stares from people around her.

"But... I can't face Kol alone. He's far too dangerous. I can't just rush in there head on. I'd need some kind of distraction. If only... yes. Yes, she'll do just fine," Quinn said to herself, again drawing stares from the various people on the sidewalks around her.

* * *

 **The Morgendorffer Residence...**

Stacey was sitting on the couch, watching Mysterious Mysteries, when she heard someone knocking on the front door. Getting up from the couch, Stacey walked over to the door and opened it. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Quinn standing in the doorway. "Hello, Sta-" Stacey slammed the door in Quinn's face.

Quinn knocked on the door again, and Stacey ignored her. " _Stacey, please! It's very important that you listen to me! I... I require your assistance in a matter of great urgency!_ " Quinn shouted from outside. "Yeah, right," Stacey snorted. Quinn continued pounding on the door, before Stacey finally relented and opened it again.

"Okay, what is it, Quinn?" Stacey asked her in an annoyed tone. "It's about Kol. He disabled my base this afternoon and he's going to expose me to your authorities in a few days," Quinn explained. Stacey's eyes widened. "Kol... yes! He's cooler than I thought!" Stacey said excitedly. "PAY ATTENTION!" Quinn snapped.

"I don't see a problem here," Stacey said with a smug smile on her face. "You're finally getting what's coming to you," she added. "Yes, and your planet will still fall to the Irken Empire. Kol isn't human, Stacey. He's an Irken, like me, and he's after your planet in an attempt to prove his worth to the Tallest!" Quinn exclaimed.

Stacey stared wide-eyed at Quinn as she tried to process the alien's words. "You... you like Kol and you want to keep me away from him, don't you? You fell for a human, and now you're jealous that I -" "This has nothing to do with jelly!" Quinn interrupted. "Kol is an Irken with an advanced disguise, and he's after your planet and my mission! He blames me for his horrible life and wants revenge!" Quinn continued.

"I don't believe you," Stacey said firmly. "It's true! Kol is an Irken, just like me! Well, not as great as me, but still an Irken all the same," Quinn said. "You're lying. Kol is just as human as I am, and you're just trying to destroy our friendship in order to hurt me. After everything that you've done since arriving on this planet, I wouldn't put it past you," Stacey said.

"But it's true! Your planet is still in danger! Even if Kol gets rid of me, which he won't, you'll still have an Irken planning on conquering your planet! You can ask GIR and Skoodge! They'll corroborate my story!" Quinn said. "Who the hell is Skoodge?" Stacey asked her. "Oh, that's right. You haven't met him yet. He's another Irken. He successfully conquered the planet Blorch, and was sent here by the Tallest to help me with my mission," Quinn explained.

"GIR, is Quinn telling the truth?" Stacey asked the robot. "Yeah! The bad person made the house go wack!" GIR replied cheerily. "Hear that?" Quinn asked her. "Please, GIR could be talking about anyone, or just spouting nonsense! He does have a habit of doing that. Plus, he's kind of crazy," Stacey said.

"Fine, don't believe me! But, when you finally _do_ learn the truth, don't come crying to me about it. Good bye, Stacey," Quinn spat before turning around and walking away, dragging GIR along with her. "Bye Stacey!" GIR called out with a wave as Quinn dragged him over the sidewalk. Stacey waved unenthusiastically at GIR before closing the door.

* * *

 **The Membrane Household, Shortly Afterwards...**

Andrea Membrane had just poured herself a mug of chocolate milk when the doorbell rang. Sighing as she put the gallon jug back in the fridge, Andrea watched as Mimi came rushing down the stairs and positioned herself near the door. Walking over to the door, Andrea took a sip of her milk before opening it. She kept the mug up to her lips as she saw the two individuals standing in front of her.

Andrea and Quinn stared at each other, before Andrea noticed GIR staring at her mug with his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging. "This is chocolate. It kills dogs," Andrea said. "GIR is a robot," Quinn said. "Even more reason to not give him any of it," Andrea said flatly. "Look, enough pleasantries, I need your... assistance," Quinn said reluctantly.

"You need my help? For what?" Andrea asked her incredulously as she leaned against the door frame, taking another sip of her chocolate milk. "It's about Kol," Quinn said. "What about him?" Andrea asked her inquisitively. "He isn't Human," Quinn said. "Is that so?" Andrea asked her dryly.

"It is so. He crippled my base and is preparing your planet for conquest. He's an Irken, like me. Unlike me, he isn't officially sanctioned by the Tallest as an Invader, and so his actions here have put my mission in jeopardy," Quinn said. "Wait, wait, wait. Hypothetically, if you're telling the truth, and if Kol _is_ actually an alien like you, why isn't he working together with you to conquer the Earth?" Andrea asked her.

"I just told you; he isn't an official invader, and he has no sanction from the Tallest! He's trying to steal my mission in order to prove his worth to the Tallest!" Quinn snapped. "Right, and how do you know that he's actually an Irken like yourself? I mean, it's not as though you have any evidence, right? Got any video of him without his disguise? Any pictures? Anything at all to prove your case?" Andrea asked her skeptically.

"No. He crippled my base, and all of my security archives along with it. Besides, I saw him take off his disguise. His human body is just an outer shell created by his PAK. That's why he blends in so easily, because his disguise perfectly mimics the human body," Quinn said. "Uh-huh," Andrea said. "Well, have you seen him actually eat any human food? I mean, it's not as though he's eaten the lunch specials without any ill effect, has he?" Quinn asked her, remembering how Kol had actually done that three times during the week, on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Today.

"He could've been raised on stuff like that. His body could have an immunity to it," Andrea said. "Maybe an immunity to home-made foods, but what about stuff that's made in the schools? You and I both know that Principal Li gives each department only the barest essential funds to operate, and that means shortcuts have to be made, even in the cafeteria," Quinn said with a smirk.

Andrea's eyes widened at the realization. "Okay, I'll check out his eating habits, but that doesn't mean you're telling the truth," Andrea said. "Look, I've already tried to tell Stacey the truth, but she doesn't wanna hear it. Also, if you have a laboratory in here, could I use it until my base is operational again?" Quinn asked her.

"Hmm, let me think about that. How about... no?" Andrea replied. "But-" "Look, Quinn. I don't exactly _hate you_ the way that Stacey does, but I'm not about to become chummy with you either. You did steal my organs, and I _do_ still have nightmares about that occasionally. Besides, I-GIR, get out of my house!" Andrea snapped at the robot.

"Aww! Please? I just want some food! The fridge at home don't work no more!" GIR whined. "No. If you don't stop, I'm going to sic Mimi on you," Andrea said. "Your cat? What's your cat gonna do?" Quinn asked her. "Oh, Mimi's not a cat. She's a robot that my mom built. She only _looks_ like a cat," Andrea said with a smirk.

"Oh. Very impressive," Quinn said, nodding her head. "Yes. Now, go away, Quinn. And make sure to-Mimi, get GIR!" Andrea snapped, just as GIR tried walking past her again. Mimi immediately darted over to the green dog and spun around at lightning fast speed, whipping her tail around before sitting down on the floor. "Um... she dances," Quinn stated, before hearing a small number of whirring and sparking sounds. Looking down at GIR, both females watched as his eyes traveled down to his own neck before his head fell off, suit included.

"GIR!" Quinn cried out. The rest of GIR's body flailed around, looking for its head, before finally grabbing onto Andrea's left leg and holding onto it. "It likes me," Andrea quipped before she grabbed the green suited body and pulled it off of her, throwing it outside before grabbing the fallen head and throwing that out as well. "Leave, Quinn, or I'll have Mimi do far worse," Andrea warned.

"R-Right away," Quinn said with a gulp before backing up from the house and grabbing GIR's head and body. Andrea took another sip of her chocolate milk before closing the door and locking it. "Good job, Mimi," Andrea said. " _Thank you, Lady Andrea_ ," Mimi said. Andrea raised an eyebrow at the SIR unit before shrugging her shoulders and walking back into the kitchen where her Chinese take-out awaited.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base, A Short Time Later...**

The top portion of the house had been restored by the time Quinn had arrived back, and she was grateful that the base's house-disguise was functioning again. Walking over to the corner of the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen, Quinn knelt down and lifted a panel off of the floor, revealing a service ladder. Keeping a tight hold on GIR, Quinn climbed down the ladder slowly, until she finally reached the level that she wanted.

Entering the main lab, Quinn threw GIR's head and body onto a table before removing her disguise and placing it back in her PAK. She quickly removed GIR's body and head from the suit before beginning the process of re-attaching it and reconnecting the wiring and circuitry. A short time later, Skoodge entered the room.

"Oh, Quinn! I've been looking for you!" Skoodge announced. "What, Skoodge? What do you want?" Quinn asked him as she continued fixing GIR. "Well, I got the base's main power generator back up and recharging itself, and I was able to reconnect and activate the lawn defenses," Skoodge said. "Good. That should buy us some time in case Kol tries to return here," Quinn said, nodding her head as she began soldering several severed wires back together.

"Hey, what happened to GIR?" Skoodge asked her. "He angered someone and got decapitated," Quinn replied. "Ouch," Skoodge said with a wince. "Oh, he'll be fine soon enough," Quinn said. "Still, neither Stacey or Andrea believed my warning about Kol," Quinn said. "Um... did you really expect them to? I mean... you don't exactly have the friendliest relationship with either of them," Skoodge noted.

"True. I suppose I should have expected their reactions, but I in either case, I've done what was needed," Quinn said. "How so?" Skoodge asked her, curious. "Well, Stacey seems to harbor some kind of affection for Kol, and it's likely that she'll try to _prove_ that he's human, just to spite me," Quinn explained. "Okay, but how exactly does that help us?" Skoodge asked her. "See, if Stacey discovers his true identity on her own, then she'll realize that I was right, and she'll have no choice but to cooperate with me in order to stop him," Quinn explained.

"Right. What about the other girl?" Skoodge asked her. "Andrea? Um... well, Stacey seems to trust her, so if Andrea does some investigating on her own and discovers the truth about Kol, then perhaps Stacey will be more willing to believe me," Quinn said. "Okay. But, uh, just how exactly will either of them be able to help us against Kol?" Skoodge asked Quinn.

"Skoodge, Stacey has a history of foiling my plans or at least disrupting them. If she can become a nuisance to someone as great as me, then surely she can put a dent in Kol's plans as well," Quinn said. "Ah. And how would Andrea help?" Skoodge asked her. "I think her house may have some kind of laboratory underneath it. Months ago, when I was trapped in a nightmare world linked to Stacey's head, I discovered a room in Andrea's house with Irken writing on the door," Quinn said.

"So... you think that Andrea's family might have access to Irken technology?" Skoodge asked her. "Possibly. The Tallest did say that they had sent a scout or two out here in the past, so it's possible that the Membrane family may have collected any equipment that the scouts had left behind," Quinn surmised. "Huh. I wasn't really aware of that," Skoodge said.

"Even if if the equipment is outdated, it would still be useful to have against Kol," Quinn said. "True, but what if they only used it for mundane purposes, like a personal power generator or something?" Skoodge asked her. "Hm, I hadn't thought of that," Quinn said. "Then again, it _was_ a nightmare world inside _Stacey's head_. I have no proof that the real Membrane house actually contains any Irken technology at all," Quinn admitted to herself as she continued rewiring GIR's circuitry.

A few minutes of silence later, GIR was back to life. "Hiya Mastah!" GIR said cheerily as he waved at Quinn. "Yes, hi," Quinn said flatly. "So, Skoodge, how many other systems are back online right now?" Quinn asked the shorter Irken. "Um, just the ones I mentioned when I found you. Those nano-bots were pretty thorough. The pathway to the vehicle bay is clear, but I wouldn't recommend using the lift inside of it until everything else is repaired," Skoodge said.

"What about the Voot Cruiser pad in the top of the house?" Quinn asked him. "Oh, that's... disguised, but I haven't been able to get the roof to open up properly. I think we should wait until repairs are finished before using it," Skoodge said. "Oh, um, one more thing," Skoodge added. "Yes?" Quinn asked him. "When I was checking on the Voot Cruiser, I found something attached to it," he explained.

"Attached? Like a tracking device?" Quinn asked him. "I believe so," Skoodge replied. "So, that's how Kol was able to find my base," Quinn said to herself. "But when did he get the opportunity? Of course! The dog at the quarry," Quinn said. "Huh?" Skoodge asked her.

"Yes, that dog must be his SIR unit in disguise! Plus, that dog has been observing the base for a while now. But then why the need for a tracking device? Was it just to confirm what his SIR unit had relayed to him?" Quinn asked herself out loud. "Skoodge, how long until the Voot Cruiser pad can be ready?" Quinn asked. "Um, maybe by tomorrow morning. The base's modular repairs are still underway," Skoodge replied. "Right. But, tomorrow... we strike back," Quinn said.

* * *

Date: Saturday, March 28th, 2098

Another tremor was felt through the neighborhood as Daria Morgendorffer brushed her teeth in the bathroom, causing her to splash toothpaste onto her shirt. "Dammit," she muttered as she looked at the mess in the mirror above the sink. "Daria, did you feel that?" Stacey asked her as she walked over to the open doorway of the bathroom.

"Yes, Stacey," Daria said. "Listen, I've done some research on the geology and geography of Lawndale, and we're nowhere close to a fault-line," Stacey said. "Well, Pennsylvania isn't exactly prone to earthquakes, Sis," Daria replied. "Yeah. I mean, they still happen from time to time here, but the problem is that the frequency of the quakes is far too great to be a natural occurrence," Stacey said.

"So you think it's man-made?" Daria asked her. "Well... wait a minute! Quinn's been keeping to herself for the past couple of weeks, and then she accused Kol of being an Irken trying to take over the Earth like her. She must be responsible for the tremors we've been having, and her claims about Kol were an attempt to keep my attention away from her!" Stacey rambled to herself.

"Um, Stace? What are you rambling about?" Daria asked her. "I have to check out the seismic activity and see if I can locate the epicenter of the quakes!" Stacey exclaimed before rushing back to her room. Daria took a deep breath and sighed. "I really should be used to this by now," Daria said to herself before she grabbed a wash cloth and doused it before trying to clean her shirt.

* * *

 **The Membrane Household, Two Hours Later...**

Andrea Membrane waited for Stacey to stop rambling before rolling her eyes and gesturing for her to enter the house. "Thanks!" Stacey said as she stepped inside. "Look, before we do anything, we need to get permission from my mom before we can go into that... lab or whatever that's under the house," Andrea said.

"Okay," Stacey said. The duo made their way up the stairs and through the hall before knocking on Andrea's parents' bedroom door. A tired and sleepy Tak soon opened the door, pushing her hair out of the way of her eyes as she looked at Andrea and Stacey. "Yeah?" Tak asked them groggily. Andrea saw the sleeping form of her father still on the bed behind her mother.

"Um, Stacey and I were wondering... what exactly is in the prohibited area?" Andrea asked her mother. "Something I'll show you once Summer Vacation starts," Tak replied with a yawn. "Do you have anything we could use to track the seismic activity of the tremors we've been experiencing all week?" Stacey asked her.

"The what?" Tak asked her. "The tremors. The quakes? The ground shaking every day?" Stacey clarified for her. "Oh, that. Look, can this wait? It's only Nine-Twenty in the morning, and I'd really like to go back to sleep," Tak said groggily. "Come on, Stacey. My mom isn't really a morning person. We can wait for a little while," Andrea said as she dragged Stacey away from her parents' bedroom, listening as her mother shut the door.

"But, Andrea! This could be a serious problem! Quinn could be up to something horrible, and we have no idea how much time we have left!" Stacey protested. "Stacey, I'm pretty sure that we have time," Andrea said as she dragged Stacey down the stairs. "But-" "No. It's my house, and my mom's... whatever is downstairs, so she has the final say on who gets to go in there," Andrea interjected. "Fine, but we still should keep our guard up," Stacey said reluctantly.

"Yes, so-" Andrea was cut off as she heard knocking on the front door. Walking over to open the door, she saw Daria and a very tired Jane standing in the doorway. "Can I help you?" Andrea asked them. "I'm here to collect my ranting sibling. She seems to have forgotten that she has a working space ship that she can use to do whatever she plans on doing," Daria said, pointing to a large van parked next to the sidewalk.

"Um, where is it?" Andrea asked her. "It's right there. I have it set to use a holographic projection of a van to disguise itself," Daria said. "Daria... how did you figure out that function?" Stacey asked her. "I used your notes and translation stuff to figure out the rest of the manual," Daria said flatly. "Cool!" Stacey exclaimed giddily.

Just then, another tremor, more powerful than any prior, was felt throughout the neighborhood for over a minute straight. Furniture shuddered, phone and light poles creaked, car alarms began going off, and Andrea heard her parents yelling and calling out not only each other's names but also her own. Mimi quickly dashed down the stairs to find Andrea, before returning upstairs. Dib and Tak soon made their way down the stairs.

"Andrea! Are you okay?" Tak asked her daughter and she rushed over and looked her over. "I'm fine, Mom," Andrea said. "Are you sure? You didn't hit your head or anything during the quake, did you?" Dib asked her with concern. "Yes, Dad. I'm sure," Andrea said. Daria and Stacey both felt their cell phones vibrating and ringing.

Taking out their phones, the sisters heard their parents on the other end of the lines. "Yeah, we're fine. We're over at Andrea's house right now," Daria said into her phone. " _Is anyone hurt?_ " Jake Morgendorffer asked her. "Not that I'm aware of, Dad," Daria replied.

"No, Mom. Everything's okay. I'm fine, and so is Daria. She's on the phone with Dad right now. No, we're at Andrea's house," Stacey said to her mother. " _Are they okay too? Was anyone-not now, Eric! I'm making sure that my daughters are okay! Well you can find your pen later! Anyway, I'm sorry about that, sweetie. Listen, I want you to call me again in the next three hours and make sure that the emergency kits are all accounted for at home. If there's another quake, either stay home or keep outside and away from anything dangerous. I love you, Stacey. Daria too. I'll call your father after I hang up. Be careful and stay safe, bye,_ " Helen Morgendorffer said before hanging up.

"Yes Dad. I know. I love you too. Bye," Daria said before hanging up. Daria looked over at Jane and saw her frantically dialing her phone. "Jane, who are you calling?" Daria asked her. "Trent! I need to make sure that he's okay," Jane replied before returning her attention to the phone. "Come on, pick up the phone!" Jane hissed.

* * *

 **Casa Lane...**

Trent Lane snored in his bed, not hearing the ringing of his cell phone or his house phone until the answering machine picked up, and the loud beep caused him to open his eyes. "Wha?" he asked groggily. " _Trent, it's your little sister, Janey! Pick up the phone, you idiot!_ " Jane said into the answering machine. Trent reached over and grabbed the phone before dialing his sister's cell phone number.

" _Trent?_ " Jane asked him. "Yeah. What's up?" Trent asked her. " _Trent, didn't you feel that quake a few minutes ago!?_ " Jane asked him. "What quake?" Trent asked her. " _Oh my god! Trent, you're unbelievable! Look, as long as you're okay, then that's what matters. Just, keep the phone near you, okay?_ " Jane responded. "Sure, Janey," Trent said. " _Thanks, Trent._ "

* * *

 **An Hour Later...**

"Okay, we should be nearing the location of the epicenter," Stacey said as she looked at the scanner on one of the screens in the Spittle Runner. Andrea looked over Stacey's shoulder as they continued driving on the highway. "Hey... what's that?" Andrea asked as she saw a large building in the distance. It was big, and ugly, and it had pipes and vents running through it.

"I don't know. I've never seen that building before," Jane said as she looked over at the strange building. "Stacey, the epicenter was located in that direction, wasn't it?" Daria asked her sister. "Yeah... it was," Stacey said gravely. Daria frowned before taking the Spittle Runner off of the highway and onto the countryside, flying over the grass and dirt as she made her way over to the truck and construction depots that the strange building lay beyond.

The closer they got, the more ominous and oppressive the building began to look. The configuration of pipes and vents reminded Daria of the buildings found in dystopian cyberpunk movies and stories, but the location of the building threw the whole feeling away. It was a bright and sunny day, but the strange building that seemed to appear out of nowhere stood out in contrast to everything around it, and it dampened whatever mood the clear skies may have created.

"I don't see any signs or company names on this thing. Who built it, and when?" Jane asked as the approached the building. "I don't know, but something tells me we're not going to like the answer when we find out," Andrea said with a frown. Mimi narrowed her eyes as Daria raised the elevation of the Spittle Runner, quickly making a vertical ascent as they got closer to what looked like an outside walking path with a railing.

"That looks like an entrance," Stacey said as she pointed to a large circular vent next to the walkway. "Hover the ship next to that walkway, and I'll get inside," Stacey said. "What? Stacey, that could be an exhaust vent for all you know," Daria said incredulously. "Then at least put me on the walkway," Stacey retorted.

"I'll go with her," Andrea said. "Are you crazy?" Daria asked her as she hovered the Spittle Runner next to the walkway. "I have Mimi to protect us," Andrea retorted. "Fine, but both of you had better be in one piece by the time we leave," Daria said in an agitated tone. "We will be," Stacey said before Daria opened the cockpit of the ship and the two climbed out and fell onto the walkway, grabbing onto the rail guard for safety. Mimi gingerly leapt out and onto the walkway next to the two girls.

"I'm gonna do a fly-over and see if there are any other entrances!" Daria called out to her sister before raising the cockpit shield back into place on the Spittle Runner. Stacey and Andrea nodded their heads in understanding as the Spittle Runner moved forward, flying along the side of the building. "Okay, let's get inside," Stacey said as she carefully crept over to the circular vent.

There was a keypad and card reader next to the circumference of the vent, along with a small LED screen. Stacey took her laptop out of her backpack and looked for a USB port, only to find to her disappointment that there weren't any to be had. "Damn," Stacey muttered as she put her laptop back in her backpack. "Mimi, see if you can... bypass this thing and get is inside... please," Andrea requested. Mimi nodded her head before shedding her holographic disguise and walking over to the door.

She turned to look at Andrea, raising her arms. " _I require assistance_ ," Mimi said. Andrea nodded her head and walked over, grabbing the robot and lifting it up so that it could take a cord from inside one of its arms and attach it to a small port next to the keypad. "Is that what that's for?" Stacey asked curiously.

Both girls looked at the small screen above the keypad, watching as numbers flickered by rapidly before a sequence was locked in place. A small green diode shone above the screen, and the circular vent opened up, much like a spiral. Mimi retracted her cord and reactivated her disguise before jumping to the ground and stepping inside the doorway. The two girls followed her inside as they looked around a large catwalk and walkway with rail guards inside of a giant facility.

"What is this place?" Andrea asked quietly. "I don't know," Stacey replied as they walked around the interior of the building. The inside of the facility reminded Stacey of the inside of Quinn's base and space station, mixed with more industrial architecture found on Earth. "Did Quinn make this place?" Stacey asked herself, before stopping in her tracks.

On a wall near an alcove was the universal insignia of the Irken military. "So, Quinn _did_ build this place!" Stacey said. "Huh?" Andrea asked her. Stacey pointed at the insignia. "See that? That's the Irken military insignia. And Quinn is a member of the Irken military. This place was built by her," Stacey said.

Andrea initially wanted to agree with Stacey, but Quinn's words from yesterday made her hesitant. "Let's not jump to conclusions. There could be another Irken on Earth," Andrea said. "Are you serious?" Stacey asked her in disbelief. "Well, my mom was an Irken who was sent here, and so was that Zim guy who kidnapped me when I was a baby. And we also have Quinn. That's three Irkens that have been on Earth so far," Andrea said. "It's entirely possible that another one could have found their way here," she added.

"Maybe, but I'm pretty sure that this is Quinn's work," Stacey said as they neared a computer terminal near another walkway. This one overlooked a large room with an orange glow, and there were dozens of hovering skiffs transporting things. One skiff came near them and Stacey quickly leapt onto it.

"Stacey, wait!" Andrea hissed. "Get aboard," Stacey said as she gestured for Andrea and Mimi to join her on the skiff. Andrea hesitated and Stacey took out her camera. "Fine, I'll just take some pictures, which I really should have done earlier, and then we can explore the rest of this place. I have to tell the Swollen Eyeball about this place, and maybe even the FBI! With photographic proof, they'll have to believe me!" Stacey said as she began taking pictures.

"After we're done up here, we should take this skiff and head down to the lower levels," Stacey said. "I don't think that's a good idea," Andrea said, noticing another skiff heading towards them. This one was occupied, and Andrea recognized the person standing on it. Stacey turned her head to look at the person heading towards them, her eyes widening in surprise. "K-Kol!?" Stacey asked in shock.

"What are you doing here, Morgendorffer? You as well, Membrane. Why are you both here?" Kol asked them with a frown on his face. "Quinn was right," Andrea said under her breath. "Wait, _how_ did either of you get inside here? I have robotic sentinel drones posted outside, and I would have been alerted to your presence once you made contact with them, so how did you get in here?" Kol asked them again.

"Kol, what is this place?" Stacey asked him. Kol glared at her. "I mean, what are you doing here? Did Quinn kidnap you and bring you here?" Stacey asked him. Kol's eyes widened at Stacey's words. "Stace... I don't think anyone kidnapped Kol," Andrea said. "What? Andrea, did you not see the Irken insignia on the walls? This place is clearly an Irken facility, and Quinn must have made it," Stacey replied incredulously.

Kol merely glared at Stacey with one raised eyebrow. "You can be so _dense_ sometimes," Kol muttered in annoyance before sighing in frustration. "Okay, Stacey... I need to ask you to get rid of those pictures you just took," Kol said. "Huh? Wait, why? Don't you want to help us stop Quinn?" Stacey asked him. Kol turned to look at Andrea. "Is she always like this?" he asked her.

"Uh... sometimes," Andrea replied. Kol frowned before turning to look at Stacey. "Stacey... you really are oblivious," Kol said. "I mean, do you honestly think that _Quinn_ could build something as complex as this place?" Kol asked her. "Um, yeah. Easily. She even has a space station that's still orbiting the Earth," Stacey replied.

"Stacey, for crying out loud, _Kol_ is the other Irken!" Andrea said, exasperated by Stacey's behavior. "No. That-That's impossible. Kol's not an alien. Tell her, Kol! Tell her that you aren't like Quinn!" Stacey pleaded. "Well, I'm certainly different from her," Kol said with a smirk. "After all, I blend in _perfectly_ , while Quinn uses a disguise that no intelligent being should ever fall for," Kol said haughtily.

"Kol, what are you saying?" Stacey asked him fearfully. "What I'm saying, Stacey... is that _I_ built this place," Kol said with a smirk. "No. That's not true! That's _impossible!_ " Stacey cried out in anguish. "Look around you, Stacey. The evidence is overwhelming," Kol replied. "No! No, Kol, why!?" Stacey cried.

"I trusted you!" she cried. "You were a fool," Kol said without a hint of remorse. Out of the corner of her eye, Andrea noticed a large black wolf-dog slowly walking towards their position, keeping itself in the shadows as much as possible. " _Mimi,_ " Andrea whispered to her SIR unit. Mimi turned her head and watched the dog slowly approached them while Stacey continued letting out her anguish.

"I-I can't believe that Quinn was telling the truth!" Stacey wept. "Oh, did she tell you about me?" Kol asked her. "Yes. I didn't want to believe her," Stacey said. "Aw, that's so sad. I'd almost feel bad... if I cared at all," Kol said snidely. "You... you bastard! You toyed with my heart and made me think you were Human!" Stacey cried out. "Okay, first of all, I'm _supposed_ to make you think that I'm Human. That's what the disguise is for," Kol said.

"And second, I never toyed with you. You were so desperate for vindication that you immediately developed an emotional attachment to me because I believed your claims regarding Quinn _and_ because I made this week a living hell for her. Now, let me make something very clear," Kol said. He soon deactivated his disguise, sending hundreds of tiny threads retreating back into his PAK.

Stacey stared wide-eyed at the blue-eyed Irken standing on the skiff opposite of hers. "Kol... you really are just like Quinn," Stacey said angrily, brushing the tears away from her eyes. "I am _nothing_ like that imbecile!" Kol hissed at her as he moved his skiff closer to hers. "I am a far better invader than Quinn could _ever_ hope to be, and I will conquer this planet for the Irken Empire before the end of next week," Kol said with a cruel smile.

Stacey fought back the tears that were threatening to spill. "I'll stop you," she managed to growl out defiantly. "No you won't. I'm sorry, Stacey, but while you are certainly more intelligent than your peers, the fact remains that you know too much. Plus, you're extremely annoying, and this is a perfect excuse to make you disappear," Kol replied.

"People will notice that I'm gone. People will notice this place! People will notice what's happening!" Stacey snapped at him. Kol chuckled in response. "Stacey, Stacey, Stacey," he said with a sigh while shaking his head. "I'm not sure if you've paid any attention lately, but the reason I'm going to succeed is that most of your people _don't notice,_ " Kol said cruelly.

"So that's it? You're going to kill us?" Stacey asked him. "Well, I could keep you alive long enough to let you witness your planet's downfall," Kol offered her with a smile. Stacey looked down at the controls of the skiff and quickly moved it forward, bumping the hovering pad into Kol's, knocking him back into the safety rail. "You little worm!" Kol hissed angrily as Stacey backed up the skiff before ramming it into his again, knocking around once more.

"Geist! Attack!" Kol called out. Stacey turned her head to see a large black wolf-dog charge out of the shadows before it opened its mouth and a red glow began to emanate from within. Stacey quickly shifted the skiff's position as the dog shot a red beam out of its maw, hitting the wall behind Stacey and the rail.

Mimi quickly dashed forward, jumping up on the dog's back and lashing out at it before jumping off as the dog reared back. Geist quickly smacked Mimi with one of his front paws, sending the SIR unit flying back into a rail. The black cat deactivated its disguise briefly before assuming a combat stance.

"A SIR unit!? Where did you get that!?" Kol cried out in surprise. "You aren't the only one with secrets, Kol!" Andrea called out with a grin. "Membrane. Geist, switch targets," Kol ordered. Geist quickly transformed, detaching his modular outer shell before lunging forward, swiping at Mimi with a metal arm. Mimi dodged the attack and spun around, slamming her right oversized arm and claw into Geist's head, pushing the green SIR unit back.

Geist quickly rolled over before firing beams from his eyes, forcing Mimi to dodge them as Andrea fled behind a terminal to escape the crossfire. Stacey watched the battle with interest, not noticing Kol speeding forward in his skiff until he was upon her. "Eek!" Stacey cried out as Kol rammed his skiff into hers, knocking her over the rail guard.

Stacey quickly reached out and grabbed the rails, holding on for dear life as Kol rammed the skiff again, sending it tumbling into the edge of the walkway. Stacey lost her grip and cried out, just as Andrea grabbed her arm. "Andrea!" Stacey cried in fear. "I've got you. Just hold on!" Andrea said as she lifted Stacey up over the edge and back onto the flat surface of the walkway. Both girls breathed a sigh of relief, before the sound of boots tapping on the floor made them lift their heads up and look over at Kol.

He was looking at them with a frown, and his antennae were flexing themselves agitatedly, displaying his anger. "Geist, finish that junk unit!" Kol called out. Geist lunged forward, only for Mimi to catch him and spin him around before throwing the green SIR unit across the floor. Geist skidded across the floor before getting back up and producing a cannon from his head. "Kill them all," Kol calmly ordered the SIR unit. " **Yes, Master!** " Geist said, promptly producing a small array of other guns from his head, just before the wall next to him exploded in a shower of debris.

"By the Tallest!" Kol exclaimed as he saw the ship hovering outside of the hole in the wall. The pink cockpit cover opened up and Quinn leapt out onto the floor of the walkway. "It's over, Kol! The Earth is _mine_ to take over! And I've already promised the moon to GIR," Quinn said. "[Gasp] You _did!?_ " GIR asked in astonishment from inside the Voot Cruiser.

"Uh, well... I was planning to... some day... eventually," Quinn said sheepishly. Kol growled at Quinn, and Mimi quickly reactivated her cat disguise, rushing over to Andrea and Stacey's side as she watched the confrontation unfold between Kol and Quinn. "I guess I should've delivered a greater payload to your base," Kol said. "My base has a modular repair system built into it. It would have fixed itself eventually," Quinn said with a grin.

"Quinn!? How did you find us?" Stacey asked her. "Huh? Stacey? I thought you didn't believe me about Kol. So, what are you-no, you thought that _I_ built this place, didn't you?" Quinn asked her with contempt in her voice. "Y-Yes," Stacey replied. "Pfft, figures," Quinn spat.

"Anyway, I'm not here to save you, Stacey. I'm just here to eliminate Kol and take this place for myself!" Quinn announced. "Why would you say that out loud?" Kol asked her. "Oh, you were listening? You, uh, weren't supposed to be. You were, you know, supposed to be, um, distracted or something," Quinn said with an embarrassed expression on her face. "I hate you," Kol said.

"Yes, you've already made that clear," Quinn said before she retrieved a laser pistol from her PAK. "Now, goodbye, Kol!" Quinn said with a grin before Geist shot forward. "Ah! Stay away!" Quinn cried out as Geist replaced the cannons from his head with extendable saw blades. "GIR! GIR, help me!" Quinn cried out. GIR's eyes briefly flashed red before he leapt out of the Voot Cruiser and landed on his face.

"Dammit, GIR," Quinn muttered to herself. GIR quickly got up and leapt over Geist, positioning himself between the robot and Quinn. "Yes! Good work, GIR!" Quinn applauded him. GIR then began dancing. "Do-dee-do-dee-doo!" GIR sang as he danced. "I _wish_ I could still be surprised at this point," Quinn said to herself with a sigh.

Geist quickly retracted his saw blade and lunged at GIR, grabbing the cyan SIR unit with both hands before throwing him over at the girls. "Yay! I flew!" GIR chirped in delight. Geist then lunged forward and grabbed Quinn before hoisting her into the air and turning around to throw her at Stacey and Andrea.

"Aaaaaahhh- _oof!_ " Quinn grunted as she flew into Stacey, knocking her on her back. Geist quickly advanced on them, with Kol watching the proceedings with a cruel smile on his face. Mimi jumped in front of the females, grabbing GIR and throwing him at Geist. The green highlighted SIR unit dodged GIR and turned back to face his prey, only for Mimi to zip forward and kick him in the head, knocking him over and causing something small to spill out of his head, sliding across the floor.

Geist quickly shot buck up, swiping at Mimi. Mimi quickly dodged his attack and parried by spinning around and slicing Geist's left arm off. "Geist!" Kol cried out before he pulled a laser pistol from his PAK. He quickly aimed at Mimi, who dodged the beam. "Geist, grab your limb and prepare to-" BOOM!

Kol was interrupted when a Spittle Runner crashed through the wall and skidded across the floor. " _What now!?_ " Kol asked in exasperation. The cockpit opened and Daria glared at Kol. "Hello, Kol," Daria said. "Morgendorffer," he growled. "Geist, retreat!" Kol said before he retrieved a small communicator from his PAK. "Initiate internal base defenses!" Kol ordered.

Several holes in the ceiling opened up and plasma turrets descended. "Plasma turrets! GIR, let's go!" Quinn yelled as she ran over to the hole in the wall and leapt into her Voot Cruiser. GIR quickly ran over and leapt in as well, joining her as she took off. "Come on, guys! Get in here!" Daria called out. Mimi quickly rushed over to the floor near Geist and grabbed the small object that had fallen out of him earlier before retreating back into the Spittle Runner.

As soon as Stacey was aboard, Daria closed the cockpit and turned the ship around. The plasma turrets fired at the ship, causing it to shudder. "Get us out of here!" Andrea pleaded before Daria activated the ship's thrusters and pushed them out of the building, breaking another hole in the wall. Plasma bolts continued sailing after them as they flew away from Kol's base.

Jane sighed in relief as they flew over the highway and headed back to Lawndale. "B-Bastard," Stacey muttered angrily, letting tears fall freely as she huddled up on the floor on the ship. "Stacey?" Daria asked her as she set the ship for auto-pilot. "Kol; I trusted him. I trusted him, and he used me!" Stacey wept. "Well... at least you're alive," Jane said. "Yeah," Daria added.

"For now," Andrea said. " _Lady Andrea is correct. We may have escaped from Kol's base, but Kol is still alive, and since we now know his secret, he will undoubtedly try to speed up his schedule for whatever he has planned,_ " Mimi said. "Whoa, I forgot that you gave this thing a voice-box," Jane said. "Actually, my mom did that," Andrea said.

"But how do we find out what Kol's plans are anyway?" Daria asked. " _Well, I happen to have his SIR unit's memory disk with me. I managed to grab it in the confusion, so we can hopefully use Lady Tak's base to study it,_ " Mimi said. "Well then, let's go home and see if we can find something useful," Andrea said. "Yeah. Let's... let's do it," Stacey said.

"Let's find out what Kol's plan is, and then fuck it up so bad that he'll wish he'd never come to Earth in the first place," she added in a dark tone. "Stacey... calm down," Daria said. "I _am_ calm," Stacey retorted. "No, you're upset," Daria said. "Daria... how would you feel in my shoes? How would you feel if someone you trusted turned out to be a lying traitor?" Stacey asked her.

"I... I don't know," Daria replied softly as she re-took control of the Spittle Runner and plotted a course for the Membrane house. "I guess you wouldn't," Stacey said in return before she rested her chin on her knees and and stared at the floor. The rest of the trip was quiet, with Stacey wallowing in self-pity and brooding, while Jane tried not to look outside the cockpit, and Mimi was busy checking Andrea over for injuries. Eventually, they returned to Lawndale, with Daria lowering the craft closer to the ground and activating the ship's holographic disguise before anyone saw them. Daria put the ship on auto-pilot once again, before she turned around and knelt down by her sister, pulling her into a hug in order to comfort her.

* * *

 _ **TO BE CONTINUED... AGAIN...**_

* * *

Ending Theme: Love Is A Lie, by Lion

* * *

Author's Note: This was originally supposed to be a two-part story, but this episode grew too large and so I had to cut it in half. This means that the Kol Arc is now three episodes instead of two, and some future episodes have been re-numbered as a result, not that any of you were aware of that to begin with. Anyway, I hope that my readers enjoyed this episode, as the next one will conclude the Kol Arc with a dramatic action climax.


	5. Kol, The Repulsive New Boy, Part 03

**INVADER QUINN**

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV

Invader Zim is property of Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom

I was listening to the score for Star Trek: Nemesis, by Jerry Goldsmith, while writing the latter half of this episode, as the battle music fit just perfectly. I'd recommend listening to some of Jerry Goldsmith's Nemesis score while reading this, especially The Mirror, The Scorpion, Lateral Run, Engage, and Final Flight. Also of interesting note, Kevin Manthei, the composer of the Invader Zim TV series, was actually mentored by Jerry Goldsmith.

* * *

Episode 029/3-005: Kol, The Repulsive Now Boy, Part 03

* * *

Date: Saturday, March 28th, 2098

 **The Membrane Household**

" _Paul, you is warwhelf!_ " Tak snickered as she watched the TV, before the front door opened and Andrea entered the living room, along with Daria, Mimi, Jane, and Stacey. "Oh, where did you guys go?" Tak asked them. "Um... we were investigating the source of the quakes we've been having this week," Andrea replied.

Tak raised an eyebrow. "And what did you find?" she asked them. "Well, we discovered that Quinn was telling the truth about Kol. He _is_ and Irken, and he's trying to take over the Earth," Andrea said. Tak's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "There... there's another Irken here on Earth?" Tak asked the group. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

" _Lady Tak, I have managed to procure the memory unit from Kol's SIR. I believe it may contain key information regarding his plans. It is imperative that we use the computers in our base to view the files on the memory unit,_ " Mimi said. "R-Right. Sure, just... give me a minute to process this," Tak said before getting off of the couch.

"Follow me," she said as she led the group over to the basement door. "Andrea, I was hoping that this could wait until your Summer vacation started, but I guess I'll have to add you into the system now," Tak said as the group walked down the stairs., eventually making their way to the door with the words, PROHIBITED SECTION written on it. Tak unlocked the door and opened it before turning on a light, leading the group around various artifacts before reaching a sliding door.

Accessing a control panel next to the door, Tak entered her input code, causing the door to slide open. She ushered the girls and Mimi into the elevator and closed the door behind her before requesting level 0-1. " **Command accepted,** " the base's computer said before the elevator started moving. "I've never been inside an Irken base without being attacked before now," Stacey said as the elevator descended.

Soon, the elevator doors opened, sliding around in a circular fashion before the group disembarked and entered a large room. "Illuminate," Tak ordered. The lights throughout the rest of the room slowly came on, revealing the interior of a lab, with Irken design flowing through it. It was extremely similar to Quinn's base in aesthetic design.

Walking over to a large screen, Tak gestured for the group to follow her. Mimi walked over and deactivated her cat disguise before removing Geist's memory unit from the storage compartment in her head. Tak took the unit in her palms and flipped it over a few times, studying it. "Hmm... I'm not sure which generation of SIR unit this is from," Tak said to herself.

"Stacey, Andrea; did Kol's SIR unit seem-wait, you wouldn't be able to identify a SIR unit's generation anyway," Tak said dismissively before pressing a few keys on a large keyboard. She pressed a button near the edge of the terminal and a small mechanical drawer opened up, revealing a mouse and mouse-pad on it. Tak quickly inserted the memory unit into a port and waited for the computer system to run an analysis.

A small window popped up on a smaller screen next to the larger one, and Tak watched a progress bar with various lines of code underneath it. Soon, a window popped up, displaying the words "COMPATIBILITY ERROR" in Irken. Tak sighed in response. "Damn," she whispered before turning around.

"Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news," Tak said. "Is it Kol's plan?" Stacey asked her. "Well, no. See, the computer systems of my base aren't as... up-to-date as necessary to read the data on this memory unit. It can recognize the physical device itself, but aside from that, it can't access or read anything that's on there," Tak explained. She then turned around and closed the window on the screen before using the Irken mouse to click on a series of icons and boxes.

Retrieving the memory unit from the terminal, Tak turned around and looked at the group of girls. "This is a very old system that I have here, and while it's still more advanced than most systems here on Earth, it isn't top of the line anymore compared to Irken computer systems," Tak said. "So, it's like an Apple computer? You have to get a new machine every time there's an upgraded operated system released?" Daria asked her.

"Not quite. I could probably access the Irken communications networks and use a proxy server on a relay satellite to download a newer system and update this place, but I'd rather not risk exposing this place to the Irken Empire. As far as I know, the Tallest probably believe that I'm dead, and I'd personally like to keep it that way," Tak said.

"Mrs. Membrane, if we can't access this data and stop Kol, then it won't matter if the Empire discovers your continued existence," Stacey said. "Kol could be planning to blow up the Earth or release a deadly virus that could wipe out the human race!" she added. "Even if I were to access a newer system or at least some updates for this place, it would still take hours to download, since I'd be using proxies and piggybacking off of other network lines and signals," Tak said.

"Your best bet is to either sneak back into Kol's base and use his system to read it or... I can't believe I'm going to suggest this, but... use that Quinn's computer system," Tak said reluctantly. "What!? I'd rather kiss a moose than work together with Quinn!" Stacey exclaimed in shock and anger. "Let's do it," Daria said. "Huh?" Jane asked her.

"I can intimidate Quinn into letting us use her system. We have something she'd doubtlessly want to get her hands on, and she has the computer system that we need in order to use it," Daria explained. "Okay, but how do you expect her to cooperate with us?" Jane asked her.

"Yeah, I mean... Quinn practically sees herself as superior to us. I doubt she'd want to work together under our own terms or anything," Andrea commented. "That's why we're going to use her greatest weakness against her," Daria said. "You're going to use polluted water?" Tak asked her. "Huh?" everyone asked in unison.

"Sorry. The polluted waters of the Earth are... harmful to Irken skin. Water that's had the contaminants removed is completely safe to us, but the stuff found in the ocean and rivers and especially in rain, oh that stuff does a nasty job on our bodies. Well, Irken bodies," Tak explained. "I... was actually going to say 'ego', but I'll keep that in mind for later," Daria said.

"You'll appeal to her ego?" Tak asked her. "Yes. If we can make Quinn think that she would benefit the most from this exchange, or at least make her think that she gets most of the credit for taking down Kol, then she might actually be willing to work alongside us, just this once," Daria said.

"Well, I guess it's worth a shot," Jane said. "It's the only option that we have right now. Besides, if Mrs. Membrane can update her base's computer systems before Kol is defeated, then maybe the Irken Empire will assume that Kol is responsible for the data being downloaded," Daria said. "Um, out of curiosity, exactly who is Kol?" Tak asked. "We already told you that he's an Irken," Stacey said.

"Yes, but that's about it," Tak replied, crossing her arms and leaning back against the terminal. "Okay, Kol is an Irken who's come to Earth in order to conquer it and prove his worth to the Irken leaders. He also really hates Quinn," Stacey explained. "Kol blames her for ruining his life or something," Andrea added.

"Okay, _now_ things are starting to make more sense," Tak said with a nod. "Well... I don't suppose you would like me to accompany any of you?" Tak offered. "Well, Mom, it actually might be best if you try to update this place's computer system. That way we can use it in the future if we need to," Andrea said. "Right. Mimi, go with them," Tak said to the small robot.

" _Yes, Mistress_ ," Mimi said with a nod before reactivating her holographic cat disguise. "Come on, guys. We have an egomaniac to go see," Daria said as she walked over and retrieved the memory unit from Tak. "Good luck," Tak said before she turned around and grabbed a chair. she quickly began the process of setting up the base's stealth communications system.

* * *

 **Quinn's Base, Some Time Later...**

When Daria rang the door bell, the first thing that happened was the opening of another door inside the house, followed by a loud screaming sound before the front door was pushed open and the robot parents fell face first into the ground. "Son, that's very rude!" Robo-Dad said. "Definitely! We need to bathe you in the toilet more often," Robo-Mom added in agreement.

"What the hell?" Jane asked in confusion. "Quinn's robot parents. Somehow, they actually manage to fool people," Stacey said. "I know about the robot parents. We saw them at Parent-Teacher Night. I was _referring_ to their behavior," Jane said. "Oh. That," Stacey said.

"Hi!" chirped the happy voice of GIR, who was standing in the doorway, without his disguise. "GIR, we need to speak to Quinn," Daria said. GIR's body and eyes briefly flashed red. "Halt! You are all intruders!" he said authoritatively. "GIR, we really need to speak with Quinn," Daria said once again. GIR returned to his normal color scheme.

"Okie-dokie!" he said with a salute before turning around and gesturing for everyone to follow him. GIR pressed a button and opened up an elevator pad in the corner of the living room, which everyone stepped onto. GIR pressed another button, and the group was sent plummeting down to the lower levels, screaming in fear at the rapid speed of their descent, while GIR laughed wildly.

When they finally reached the level where Quinn was working, the group immediately launched themselves off of the elevator and onto the solid floor. "Can we just use the stairs next time?" Jane asked. "We don't gots no stairs!" GIR cried happily. "Of course not," Jane muttered.

"GIR! What are you doing, bringing them here!?" Quinn screeched as she saw the group and marched over to them, pure rage written upon her face and fuchsia eyes. Her curly antennae flexed themselves in agitation. A door behind her slid open and a shorter Irken came walking out. "Hey, Quinn! I got Sherman back into his test tube," he said.

"That's nice, Skoodge. We have another problem, however," Quinn said as she pointed at the group of humans and robots. "Who are _you?_ " Stacey asked Skoodge. "Uh... no one," Skoodge said. "That's inspector Skoodge! He's a former invader who was sent here by the Tallest to monitor my progress," Quinn said. "Former?" Jane asked her.

"Yes. He managed to conquer Blorch all by himself," Quinn said. "Blorch?" Daria asked her. "It was the home of the Slaughtering Rat People. Well, it _was_ , until the Armada turned it into a giant shopping center planet," Skoodge said. "Wait, that's it? They only used the planet for _one_ single purpose?" Stacey asked him. "Well... why not?" Skoodge responded.

"Um, can we please get back on track here?" Daria asked in agitation. "Huh? Oh, right. What are you doing here!?" Quinn asked with a screech. "Quinn, we share a common enemy," Daria said to her. "Kol," Quinn said simply. "Yes. Kol intends to conquer our planet, and that is _your job_ , not his," Daria said. "Yes, you are _very_ correct about that," Quinn said haughtily.

"Therefore, we should work together to bring him down. He can take us on one at a time, but a concentrated effort from all of us should catch him off-guard," Daria said. "Please, why would I need _your_ help?" Quinn asked her smugly. "Hey, I helped _you_ when we were turning into giant balonies!" Stacey snapped. "YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP!" Quinn retorted. "Both of you, calm down. Quinn, it would be beneficial to help us because we have his SIR unit's memory device. It probably has Kol's plans inside of it, and having access to that information will give us the edge that we need to stop him," Daria explained.

Quinn's eyes widened as Daria took the memory unit out of her jacket and held it in her hand, waving it in Quinn's face. "You and the Membranes, both families of scientists, don't have the technology to decode it yourselves?" Quinn asked her questioningly. "No, Quinn. Neither of our families have advanced enough technology or computer systems to interface with Irken technology like this," Andrea said.

"So, you _need_ _me_ to help you?" Quinn asked them. "Yes, Quinn. Using your equipment, we can decode this thing and find out what Kol's plans are. Then we can stop him, and you can brag to your leaders or whatever about your latest victory over a rogue Irken. Your mission was given to you by your leaders, right?" Daria asked her. "That's right," Quinn replied, nodding her head.

"Was Kol's mission given to him by your leaders?" Daria asked her. "No. No it wasn't," Quinn said. "Then he's interfering with an official military operation, correct?" Daria asked her. "Yes, that's right! He's basically committing treason against the Irken Empire!" Quinn exclaimed.

"That's right, Quinn. At least, if he fails, it's treason. If he succeeds... what would your leaders think if someone who's been given the latest equipment couldn't hold their own against someone who's not using official equipment? Can you _really_ let Kol get away with that?" Daria asked her, playing on the female Irken's ego.

"No. I can't allow it," Quinn said darkly. "Kol must not be allowed to succeed. This is _my_ mission, no one else's," she said firmly, her hands balled into fists as she looked Daria in the eyes. "That's right. And if Kol also loses to _us_ , being the inferior natives that we are, then his defeat would be humiliating for him, wouldn't it?" Daria asked, egging Quinn on. A glint appeared in Quinn's eyes.

"Yes, it most certainly would," Quinn said. "That's right, Quinn. Help us and not only can you punish Kol for his act of treason, but you can humiliate him as well," Daria said. Quinn grinned wickedly before nodding in agreement to Daria's words. "Yes. Let's look at the data," Quinn said. "Indeed. Let's," Daria said with a tiny smirk of her own before handing the memory unit to Quinn.

Quinn walked over to a communications console with a large screen and inserted the memory unit into a port. "Now, don't anyone touch anything with your filthy meat fingers," Quinn said as she gestured for everyone to come over to her position. A window soon showed up on the screen with several options. "Most recent? Let's go with that," Quinn said as she accessed the memory unit's contents.

A video soon played on the screen. " _I guess if we can't establish live feed with the Tallest, then sending them this video should work just as well, right Geist?_ " Kol asked as he stood in front of his SIR unit, who was recording the message. " _ **Yes, Master,**_ " Geist replied.

" _Anyway. This is a message for My Tallest. I have been on the planet known as Earth for several months now, and I have come to the conclusion that Invader Quinn is completely inept. To prove my worth as an invader I am going to do, with one single operation, what she has been unable to do with multiple plans and operations. I am going to build a launch platform to send a giant communications satellite into the orbit of the Earth. This satellite will tap into all of the primitive native satellites orbiting this planet, and allow me to tap into the networks of the various governments and militaries of the planet._ "

"He stole this plan from me!" Quinn hissed. "Uh, no, he _didn't!_ " GIR chirped. " _After gaining access to all of the world's government infrastructures and computer systems at once, I will unleash a virus that will make all of their systems, military and government, subservient to mine, and from there, I will issue an ultimatum to the planet's inhabitants and leaders, forcing them to either accept Irken rule or perish,_ " Kol said with a grin. " _If they choose to resist, I will simply access their military systems and unleash their nuclear arsenals upon themselves in key locations until they either capitulate or are wiped out,_ " Kol continued passionately.

" _I will hold the fate of their planet in my hands, and they will kneel before the might of the Irken Empire,_ " Kol finished proudly, raising a fist into the air. "Um, okay. I wasn't expecting _that,_ " Jane said with wide eyes. "Can... can he actually do that?" Stacey asked in bewilderment. "Possibly," Skoodge said. "I've seen more advanced civilizations than this one fall to less complex schemes," he added.

Everyone looked at him with wide eyes, except Quinn and the SIR units. "You mean... we could actually be facing the end of our civilization if Kol succeeds?" Jane asked him. "Jane, have you been paying _any_ attention today?" Andrea asked the artist. "Do not fret, simple humans. I will defeat Kol. In the meantime, however, you must access his base and deactivate his satellite launch system before he can send it into orbit. I have no doubt that he will also try to use it against me as well, given what he plans to do with your planet's military resources," Quinn said.

"How do we know that you won't try to gain control of it yourself?" Stacey asked her. "Dear Stacey, how could you possibly think of something so outlandish?" Quinn asked her. Stacey glared at her sharply. "Okay, fine! I promise to not use that for myself if you guys can destroy Kol's base before or around the same time that I eliminate Kol. You all leave Kol to me, and I'll leave the satellite thing in your dirty primitive hands. Make sure to blow it up real good, though, or I'll actually take control of it," Quinn said.

"Fair enough," Daria said as she held her hand out. Quinn looked at it with distaste. "Um? Are you expecting something?" Quinn asked her. "A handshake. A sign of agreement and trust, at least until this mission has been accomplished," Daria explained. "It's only this once, Quinn," Skoodge said. "Very well," Quinn said reluctantly as she stuck her own hand out and shook Daria's before pulling it away.

"Hey... this memory unit should also have data pertaining to the SIR unit itself, such as access codes for the base and even remote access links to the SIR unit itself," Skoodge said thoughtfully. Everyone turned to look at him. "Well, that robot _is_ pretty dangerous. Could this thing have information for controlling it remotely or shutting it down?" Andrea asked him.

"It's possible," Skoodge said as he turned to face her. "So... with Kol's SIR unit out of commission... we'd have an easier time taking care of the launch site, right?" Jane asked. "Of course, and with the access codes to Kol's base, we have everything that we need to take him down," Skoodge said. Stacey grinned. "Let's get started," she said.

* * *

 **Kol's Base/Really Obvious Launch Site, Hours Later...**

Flying across the highway, two Irken vessels approached the large behemoth of a building that was Kol's base. The setting sun reflected off of the cockpits of the two ships, making them look like glowing spheres of light traveling across the sky. Inside the Voot Cruiser was Quinn, by herself, while the Spittle Runner held Andrea, Stacey, and Mimi. Daria and Jane had both stayed behind at Quinn's base with GIR and Skoodge.

The two Irken ships soon came upon the grass and dirt of the land beyond the highway and sped towards the large structure ahead of them. Up ahead, they saw the top of the building begin to open, like giant metal flower petals. "It's starting," Stacey said as she increased the Spittle Runner's speed. " _Yes. It would seem that our confrontation with Kol earlier has caused him to change his time-tables. He's probably going to launch the satellite now, so that if anything happens to his base, he can still control it remotely while setting up a new operation center,_ " Quinn said over the ships' communication system.

Approaching the side of the building, the females saw that the damage to the outer wall from earlier was in the process of being repaired. " _Ha! My base would have had that repaired in less than one hour after it happened! And Kol thinks that he's better than me? Time to put the little traitor in his place,_ " Quinn said over the comm. "Um, Quinn? We can hear you," Andrea said into the comm.

" _Oh. Still, the two of you get inside, and I'll lure Kol into the open. He may have better disguises than I do, but I doubt that he has better piloting skills,_ " Quinn said. "Gotcha," Andrea said as they drew closer to the massive building. Soon, after ascending and approaching the hole, Stacey watched as Quinn fired a series of blasts from her Voot Cruiser, damaging the section they were approaching. " _That should make it easier for you to get inside,_ " Quinn said over the comm.

"Thanks," Andrea said. "Yeah. T-Thanks," Stacey said as she piloted the Spittle Runner towards the hole, eventually crashing the ship through it and skidding across the floor until it smacked into the side of a wall. Stacey and Andrea were jostled around by the inertia of the impact. "Remember to slow down next time, Stace," Andrea said as she rubbed her left arm.

"Sorry," Stacey said before opening the cockpit and getting out. "Mimi, secure the area around the Spittle Runner," Andrea said. Mimi nodded her head before jumping out of the cockpit and dashing around the room.

Meanwhile, Quinn flew her Voot Cruiser upwards and eventually over to the edge of the opened roof, where she saw a satellite launch system. Moving the Voot Cruiser in to get a closer look, Quinn set her scanning systems and began searching for signs of Kol. "Where are you?" she whispered as she flew over the roof of the building.

* * *

Kol looked at the footage on the screen in front of him. "So, you've returned? I should've known that you'd be back for a rematch," Kol said. "Geist, take some sentinel drones and eliminate the two humans. I'll be busy dealing with Quinn," Kol said to his green SIR unit. The little robot nodded its head in affirmation of its orders before turning around and leaving the main control room. Kol took a breath to calm himself as he saw Quinn's antics on the screen.

He shook his head in disappointment and made his way out of the room, heading down a corridor that led to a small vehicle bay. He quickly approached his blue Spittle Runner and jumped inside of it. "Well, Quinn, I guess it's time I showed you who the superior Irken is," Kol said to himself smugly.

"I can't wait to show the Tallest your corpse," he added as he activated the bay doors remotely. He quickly turned the Spittle Runner around before taking off and going outside. He was going to end this game with Quinn once and for all.

* * *

Noticing a signal on her scanner, Quinn quickly activated a rear camera, seeing Kol's Spittle Runner heading towards her. "Finally," Quinn said to herself as she waited until Kol was almost upon her before dropping her altitude and decreasing speed, letting Kol overshoot her. She quickly raised her ship up behind his and opened a communication channel. "Hello, Kol! I'm back, and this time, you will feel my wrath!" Quinn exclaimed with a grin before she opened fire at his ship.

Kol dodged the attack before firing rear-facing blasters at Quinn's Voot Cruiser. Quinn quickly dodged the blasts before speeding up and ramming her Voot Cruiser into Kol's Spittle Runner, causing him to spin around in the air before facing the front of his ship against hers and firing a series of lasers at her. Quinn moved the Voot Cruiser laterally in order to dodge, although one beam did scrape the side of the Voot Cruiser.

" _Hello, Quinn. It's a shame that you actually think you can win against me. I am the superior Irken here, and I'm going to prove it when I send your corpse to the Tallest,_ " Kol said over the channel. "Ha! As if you could ever best me in vehicular combat!" Quinn retorted. " _I can and I will. I'm not going to let you live this time, Quinn. I'm going to kill you. Then, I'm going to put my plan into action and force the nations of the Earth to surrender to me, and by extension, the Irken Empire. I will prove myself to the Tallest, and get rid of you in one fell swoop,_ " Kol said smugly over the channel.

"The Earth is mine, Kol. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but apparently you're too stupid to remember it," Quinn said before firing a series of plasma pulses at Kol's Spittle Runner. The pulses shot over him as he dodged and returned fire with his laser cannons again. " _Face it, Quinn! You've already lost! My SIR unit is already taking care of those two humans that you brought along with you. Your whole plan is going to be one miserable failure! Ha!_ " Kol laughed.

Quinn merely rolled her eyes at his words. "I didn't realize that you were so delusional, Kol. I might actually feel bad for you when I send you back to Foodcourtia after taking you prisoner," Quinn said with fake sympathy. Kol fired another series of laser beams at Quinn, forcing her to dodge by rolling her Voot Cruiser in the air before flying straight up in a loop and coming down behind Kol's Spittle Runner.

"Kol, Kol, Kol... you may not have noticed, but... I'm the superior pilot," Quinn said with a smug grin. She then fired her own lasers at Kol, hitting his Spittle Runner. She then fired a series of pulse blasts at the ship, which Kol dodged before turning around. Quinn increased her speed to match Kol's and tailed him as he flew around his base, firing her ship's weapons at him as he returned fire in an effort to escape her.

* * *

Stacey and Andrea moved silently through the corridors as they searched for the base's control center, until they saw a light shining around a corner. Mimi gestured for the two girls to halt, before she quietly crept forward, until she was right near the corner. Carefully looking around, Mimi saw a lone sentinel drone, a humanoid robot with a red visor on it's sensor head. The machine slowly walked forward, dressed up like an Earth security guard. " **Halt. You are not authorized to be in this area. Please leave at once,** " the sentinel requested. Mimi quickly decapitated the drone and tore the rest of it to pieces.

She then went back around the corner and gestured for Stacey and Andrea to follow her. They soon rounded the corner and the trio made their way through the next corridor. When they took a left at another corner, they stopped as they saw Geist, without his disguise, and several sentinel drones, holding plasma carbines. " **Eliminate the human females,** " Geist ordered the sentinel drones, his green eyes glowing with each word as he pointed at them with one arm.

The sentinel drones then took up combat stances and aimed their weapons at Andrea and Stacey, who both dove back around the corner as the robots opened fire at them. Mimi quickly shot forward, dodging the blasts from the carbines as she tackled Geist to the floor, knocking him away before attacking the sentinel drones, only for Geist to recover and tackle her.

Mimi quickly kicked the other SIR unit away before fire beams from her eyes at him, forcing the green SIR to dodge the attacks before unleashing a cannon from his head and firing a particle beam at Mimi, who dodged it, allowing the beam to hit a sentinel drone behind her. Mimi quickly rolled forward, shooting up and catching Geist with her larger claw, before he unleashed a cable from a socket in his torso and shocked Mimi, sending her falling back. Geist advanced towards the fallen SIR unit, retracting his particle beam cannon and producing a spinning blade.

* * *

Daria watched the large screen in front of her as Skoodge pressed some buttons on a keypad. "Okay, we should have access to Kol's SIR unit... now!" Skoodge announced. "GIR, make Kol's SIR unit deactivate the satellite launch system," Daria said to the cyan SIR unit. "I don't know how do that!" GIR said. "Okay. Uh, then... make it go crazy or something," Daria said. "Only if you dance with me!" GIR implored.

"What? No," Daria said. GIR looked at her, clasping his little metal hands together. "Fine," Daria said with a sigh. "Jane, if you tell anyone about this, the police will _never_ find your body," Daria said. "Hey, my lips are sealed," Jane said with a snicker. Daria then started dancing with GIR, badly. "This is ridiculous," Daria muttered to herself.

"Well tarnation! I ain't never seen such a graceful square dance in all my years," Jane mocked with a smirk. " _Jane,_ " Daria warned. "Sorry, but I can't help it," Jane replied. Skoodge, meanwhile, was busy searching through the rest of Geist's files for the location of the control center in Kol's base, as well as the access codes for the satellite launch system and other parts of the base.

* * *

Stacey and Andrea listened as the sentinels stopped firing their weapons. Soon, a strange sound replaced it. Both girls carefully peeked around the corner and saw Geist dancing to some unknown beat. The sentinels were currently being destroyed by Mimi, while Geist was... doing something disturbing. " _ **Doo-dee-doo-dee-dooo!**_ " Geist sang aloud as he swayed and jerked around in a most embarrassing fashion, his color scheme having also changed to cyan.

"What the hell?" Andrea asked with a raised eyebrow. "That... sounds like GIR," Stacey said as she listened to Geist's singing. "I think it _is_ GIR," Andrea said, noticing the changed color scheme on the robot. "Daria and the others must have GIR connected to Kol's SIR remotely!" Stacey exclaimed. "Eh, probably," Andrea said to herself.

"Well, I guess we should continue looking for that control center," Stacey said as she and Andrea approached the two SIR units. " _Lady Andrea, Stacey, we must hurry,_ " Mimi said as she turned around and began running through the corridor, Andrea and Stacey close behind. The trio listened as the sound of GIR singing through Geist faded into the background as they delved deeper into Kol's base.

Soon, the trio found the control center. It was a large room with several screens, computer terminals, and chairs with a table in the center. There was a hammock in the corner, and a recharging station for something. Geist's wolf-dog disguise was situated in a pile in the corner of the room. "Okay, let's see if we can find out how much time we have," Stacey said as she approached a computer terminal near the main screen.

Stacey took off her backpack and set it down before unzipping it and retrieving her laptop. "Let's just... wait," she said as she looked over the computer terminal. "There are no USB ports on here! Universal my ass!" Stacey whined. Mimi quickly walked over and inserted a cable from her head into a small port on the terminal.

" _I shall attempt to access the satellite control system,_ " Mimi explained as several new windows appeared on the screen, showing the launch timer for the satellite. "We only have twenty minutes!?" Andrea asked in surprise. "That should be plenty of time to stop the launch," Stacey said, just before a loud banging on the door got their attention. The door soon opened and Geist entered the room. His color scheme had returned to green.

"Uh-oh," Andrea muttered as Mimi disconnected herself from the terminal and assumed a combat stance, her red eyes glowing brightly as she stared down the green SIR unit. The SIR unit quietly took out a communication module from his head and spoke into it. " **Kol, all targets have been eliminated. The base, however, has been put on lock down. I am going to secure the launch system and inspect the satellite for any potential threats. I will have to stop the launch in order to perform this duty,** " Geist said uncharacteristically.

" _Do what's necessary. I'm busy dealing with Quinn. Just make sure that you restart the launch after you've inspected the satellite,_ " Kol replied through the communicator. " **Understood, Master.** " Geist then handed the communicator to Mimi, who then handed it to Andrea. "Okaaayyy... what just happened?" Andrea asked rhetorically.

" **Can you girls hear me? It's me, Skoodge. I've taken remote control of Kol's SIR unit. I've got access to the codes for the launch system and the satellite, so I'll read them to you and you can put them into the computer system,** " Skoodge said through Geist. "Right!" Stacey said with a nod as Mimi re-connected herself to the terminal and resumed her operation. "Um, Skoodge? Mimi's kind of already accessed the launch system. Just tell us the codes and Mimi will put them into the computer," Andrea said. " **Understood!** " Skoodge said, making Geist perform a salute.

"Wait, what happened to GIR? Wasn't he remote-controlling Geist earlier?" Andrea asked him curiously. " **Um, about that... let's save that discussion for** _ **after**_ **the mission has been completed,** " Skoodge said. "Sure, whatever," Andrea said with a shrug.

* * *

Quinn yelled in rage as Kol managed to clip her Voot Crusier with a laser beam. "Bastard!" she cried out. " _You're no match for me, Quinn! Face it;_ _ **I**_ _am the superior Irken!_ _ **I**_ _should have been part of the great assigning!_ _ **I**_ _shouldn't have to be stealing this planet from the likes of_ _ **YOU!**_ " Kol ranted through the com channel. "My goodness, doesn't he _ever_ stop talking about himself?" Quinn asked rhetorically.

Quinn then felt her Voot Cruiser shudder as Kol landed another hit on it. A red warning light started flashing and one of her screens showed a nacelle outlined in red, displaying the damage done to it. "Grr! Lucky shot," Quinn growled as she steered upward and took off into the upper atmosphere, leading Kol up through the clouds as the sun continued setting.

Kol continued firing at Quinn, missing the majority of the time but still managing to nick her vessel at least twice. Quinn soon disappeared into the clouds with a hard turn, forcing Kol to slow down as he set his scanner. " _Where are you, Quinn?_ " he asked over the com. Quinn grinned silently to herself as she used her own scanners to find Kol's location and ram her Voot Cruiser into his Spittle Runner from behind.

"RIGHT HERE!" Quinn exclaimed eagerly. " _Graahh! Quinn, you're dead!_ " Kol raged over the com channel. "Ha! You're nothing, Kol! I've been piloting military vehicles for _decades_ , with almost no interruption! I've got more skill than you could ever _dream_ of having!" Quinn boasted. " _You really think so highly of yourself? After everything that you've done? After all of the death and destruction that you've caused... to_ _ **YOUR OWN KIND!?**_ " Kol spat in rage as his Spittle Runner activated its thrusters and sped away into the clouds, disappearing from view.

Quinn quickly changed altitude and sent the Voot Cruiser flying straight up out of the clouds, heading off into the stratosphere. She checked her scanners and rear cameras to see where Kol would emerge from. She waited, and waited, and waited...

"I'm waiting, Kol. It seems you aren't so superior after all, if you can't even figure out that I've left the clouds," Quinn antagonized. "Durr, I'm Kol and I'm thtupid! Durr!" Quinn mocked over the com channel. " _Fuck you, Quinn!_ " Kol yelled over the com channel. Quinn smirked and checked her scanners again. Her efforts were soon rewarded when she saw a blue Spittle Runner explode from a cloud and fly up after her.

Kol quickly caught up with her and began firing his lasers and pulse guns at her. Quinn sloppily dodged the attacks, her bottom left nacelle having been too badly damaged to function safely anymore, forcing her to take it offline. "Even with a damaged ship, I'm still a better pilot than you, Kol! You can't win! You can't beat me! Even if you launch your stupid satellite, I'll just destroy it!" Quinn taunted as she danced her ship around Kol's.

" _Ha! My SIR unit eliminated your comrades, Quinn! If you were so superior to me, you wouldn't have needed their help in the first place! But now look at you! Outgunned and out of time! My satellite is going to launch soon, and there's nothing you can do to stop it! I'll set my plan into action, and then I'll kill you and give your corpse to the Tallest as a gift!_ " Kol ranted. "Uh-huh. That's nice," Quinn said in a bored tone.

" _You think I'm joking!? Do you think this is just some kind of game, Quinn!? You ruined my life, and now I'm going to put an end to yours! I will have my revenge, and you will know that_ _ **I**_ _was the one who killed you! Victory and vengeance will be mine, and I will be instated by the Tallest as the invader that I was meant to be!_ " Kol rambled. "Oh, come on! Is that really all you care about? I mean, so I ruined your life? Big deal! I've ruined plenty of people's lives! Do you really think that you're any more special than any of the other people whose lives have been ruined by me? Of course not!" Quinn retorted over the com channel, grinning in satisfaction as she dodged another series of laser beams from Kol.

" _I'm not just going to kill you, Quinn. I'm going to torture you, and I'm going to make it long and painful. When I begin, you'll beg me to stop, and when I'm half-way through, you'll beg me to kill you!_ " Kol snapped over the com. "Yeah, whatever," Quinn said as she ran through a set of options on one of her screens. "Hmm... I have spares at the base, so I can lose one," she said to herself before pressing a button on the screen.

Seconds later, a small ejection port opened up in the rear of the Voot Cruiser, shooting out a canister. The canister had a small light on it that began flashing rapidly before it exploded and a large net of pale webbing expanded and engulfed Kol's Spittle Runner. Quinn immediately spun her Voot Cruiser around and fired plasma pulses at the beam cannons on Kol's Spittle Runner, damaging them.

Quinn then shot a hooked cable out at Kol's Spittle Runner, catching it and reeling it in as they continued dancing through the stratosphere. Kol's cockpit was soon smashing into her own, and she saw the angry Irken sitting within. "Hi, Kol!" Quinn said with a wave. Kol snarled at her from within his ship.

" _Quinn! Even if you stop me, my SIR unit will continue my mission, and he'll kill you! Your human comrades are dead, your base is still wrecked, and my plan will still continue! I don't have to live in order for your life to be ruined!_ " Kol ranted. "Yeah, see... your SIR unit's been remotely accessed by my base, or more accurately, Inspector Skoodge. See, you may not have known this, but since Skoodge conquered the planet Blorch, he's been promoted to Inspector and has been charged, by the _Tallest themselves_ , with monitoring the progress of my mission," Quinn said.

Kol's eyes widened. "So, your whole plan for revenge? You aren't an official Irken invader or military operative on an assignment, whereas _my mission_ , Kol, _is_ official. This means that your attempts to hinder it constitute as _treason_ against the Irken Empire, and with that, I am going to take you to my base and execute you. Meanwhile, Skoodge is controlling your SIR unit remotely and is cancelling the launch of your satellite, as well as wrecking your base from the inside and stuff," Quinn said with a cruel smile. Kol merely frowned in response, before he started snickering.

" _Heh. Heh-heh_ ," Kol snickered. "What? What's so funny?" Quinn asked him. " _You. You still think that your 'mission' is real,_ " Kol replied, grinning at her. "Um, yeah. Of course it is," Quinn said, confused by Kol's words. " _Quinn. The Tallest LIED to you. They_ _ **lied**_ _to get rid of you. Your whole mission is just a big lie! Every time they speak to you, they're laughing behind your back, knowing that you're too stupid to figure out what's going on! The Tallest_ _ **gave me**_ _their BLESSING to kill you! And do you know what else?_ " Kol asked her nastily.

"You're insane?" Quinn asked him. " _No, Quinn._ _ **YOU ARE.**_ _All you've ever done is mess things up! That's why the Tallest sent you out here; to get rid of you!_ " Kol shouted. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. I've grown bored with you, Kol," Quinn said as she began angling their ships.

* * *

Inside his Spittle Runner, Kol tried contacting Geist. "Geist, come in! What is the status of the launch system?" Kol asked. " **Launch cancelled. You have lost, Kol.** " Kol's eyes widened in shock. He began to seethe. "Quinnnnn!" he yelled out in rage. He looked up at the cockpit of the Voot Cruiser, seeing Quinn smirking at him.

"It's not over, Quinn. Not by a long shot," Kol muttered before pulling up a set of commands on his console. "You've won this round, but I'll be back," Kol said through the com channel, before activating his backwards thrusters and firing a cutting beam at the cable connecting Quinn's ship to his. There was a flash of light and a loud shudder, before Kol felt his Spittle Runner violently shooting away from Quinn's ship.

Kol quickly sped away from the Earth, entering a set of commands to his base's computer. "Leave no resources behind," he muttered to himself before sending the final signal to his base. "Goodbye, Geist," Kol said to himself as he flew away into the depths of space.

* * *

Red lights began flashing, along with a siren. "What's going on?" Stacey asked. " _ **SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED. THIS BASE WILL AUTOMATICALLY DESTRUCT IN T-MINUS TEN MINUTES.**_ " "We need to get out of here!" Andrea exclaimed. There was a loud noise and both girls looked over at Geist, just before he exploded in a shower of flame and debris. Stacey held her backpack up as a shield against the bits and pieces of the exploding robot, before grabbing Andrea's arm and dragging her along.

Mimi quickly assumed her cat disguise and ran alongside the girls before going ahead of them, taking the lead. " _Follow me!_ " Mimi exclaimed. Stacey and Andrea followed her as the flashing strobe lights and sirens filled the base's interior. They ran through corridor after corridor, turning corner after corner in their attempts to return to the Spittle Runner.

Soon, when the countdown reached three minutes, the girls and Mimi reached the room where they had crashed the ship. Quickly hopping inside, Stacey closed the cockpit, while Andrea took over the controls. The Spittle Runner shuddered as it hovered in the air, before turning around and flying out of the hole in the wall, escaping into the open air.

Two minutes later, the girls heard and saw the explosion of the base, watching as fireballs ripped through the exterior, and saw a gigantic beam of green light shoot through the clouds of billowing smoke. Soon, the entire roof exploded in a fiery display, before the rest of the building crumbled and erupted into flame as explosions from the inside tore it apart. The smoke could be seen for miles all around.

Andrea opened up a communication channel with Quinn's base. "Daria, Jane... and that other guy, do you read us?" Andrea asked. " _We read you, Andrea. Is Stacey with you? What happened?_ " Jane asked. "Kol's base has been destroyed, along with the satellite and his robot. Stacey and Mimi are with me in the Spittle Runner. We haven't heard from Quinn, so we don't know what's going on with her and Kol right now," Andrea said.

" _Actually, we just heard from Quinn a little bit ago. Kol tucked his tail and ran away when he found out that he'd lost. Quinn didn't bother to chase him, and she's actually on her way back here right now,_ " Jane said. "Good to know," Andrea stated. "Say, that other Irken guy wouldn't tell us what happened to GIR earlier. Wanna fill us in on that?" Andrea asked her.

" _Well-Nothing. Nothing happened,_ " Daria's voice interjected. " _GIR just stopped dancing after Skoodge gained control over the other robot's systems. That's all that happened. We'll meet up with you guys outside of Quinn's base, then we can drop Jane off at her place and you back at yours, Andrea,_ " Daria said. "Uh, sure. Whatever you say. Out," Andrea said before closing the channel. She looked back over at Stacey, who had a worn and tired look on her face as she stared out the cockpit of the Spittle Runner.

"Hey, are you okay back there?" Andrea asked her friend. "No. No, I'm not okay. But, I'll get over it," Stacey said. "Thanks for caring, though," Stacey added. "You're welcome," Andrea said before returning her attention to their flight path.

* * *

 **The Massive, Flagship Of The Irken Armada, Sometime Later...**

Almighty Tallest Red and Purple took sips of their sodas as they ended a call with Invader Spleen. "So... what else is on the agenda for today?" Purple asked his counterpart. "Eh, I don't know. We've already checked up on all of the important invaders, and I guess that means we're free," Red replied before taking another sip of his Slurm.

"My Tallest, we have an incoming transmission from Earth," a communications officer announced. "Who is it?" Red asked him. "It's Quinn, sirs," the officer said. "Damn," Red muttered. "Patch it through," he ordered in gruffly.

Quinn's face soon showed up on the screen. " _Greetings My Tallest! I know you were probably worried about me since I've been unable to contact you recently. I was busy dealing with a nuisance. Specifically, another Irken, named Kol. He was the one who gave Irken technology to that human who'd attacked me a while back,_ " Quinn relayed.

Red and Purple's eyes widened. "This is going to be a long story, isn't it?" Purple asked her. " _Yes, My Tallest. This is a mission report, and it is very important. I am sorry, My Tallest, but I must inform you of every detail necessary, in case Kol attempts to interfere with another Invader's mission somewhere else,_ " Quinn said. "So... he's still alive?" Red asked her.

" _Unfortunately, yes. I had planned to capture him and then have him picked up and sent to a prison camp for traitors, or worse, have him assigned a fry-cook position somewhere on Foodcourtia,_ " Quinn said. " _However, he managed to escape during our final conflict, and I do not know his whereabouts. I had to check on the destruction of his base, as reported to me by Inspector Skoodge, to ensure that no humans could make use of anything found inside,_ " Quinn said.

"Look, just... start from the beginning," Red said tiredly. " _Very well, My Tallest. It all started two weeks ago,_ " Quinn began. Red sighed as he listened to Quinn begin her report, mentally telling himself to keep his mouth shut. _Kol, we gave you your shot, and you screwed up. I sincerely hope that you didn't tell Quinn the truth about her being on Earth, though. Otherwise, you're as good as dead,_ Red thought to himself as he listened to Quinn prattle on. He secretly signaled one of the bridge technicians to activate the ship's recording system for the call, so that it could be analyzed later, for any clues to Kol's whereabouts from Quinn's statements.

When Quinn was finally finished, almost three hours later, Red nodded his head and waved the destructive sociopath goodbye before having the crew cut the transmission. "So... do we have Kol tracked down and killed?" Purple asked him. "No. If he's truly as obsessed with revenge against Quinn, and he isn't already dead, then he'll make his way back there eventually," Red replied.

"But, he told Quinn the truth," Purple said. "Yes, and she didn't believe him. She took it as something he made up in order to get under he skin," Red retorted. "Oh yeah," Purple said in agreement. "Besides, when he _does_ return to Earth, either to live in secret or to confront Quinn again, it'll be the last time he ever shows his face. After all, he did attack someone on an official mission from us," Red said.

"But, Quinn-" "I was referring to Skoodge, the fat little bastard. His mission to monitor Quinn _is_ official, and Kol interfered with that mission by wrecking Quinn's base, _hampering_ Skoodge's ability to report back to us and alert of us if Quinn does anything that could affect us. Thus, Kol is to be labeled a traitor to the Empire. And besides, if Quinn ever sees him again, we know that she'll eliminate him on sight," Red explained. "I... sure, why not?" Purple asked in response to Red's explanation.

"So, what do we do now?" Purple asked Red. "Simple; we go eat food," Red replied before leaving the bridge. Purple shrugged his shoulders before following his counterpart.

* * *

 **The Morgendorffer Residence, Later That Evening...**

Daria Morgendorffer stepped into her sister's bedroom and sighed as she saw Stacey lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Hey... you okay?" Daria asked her sister. "Yeah. I'm fine," Stacey said quietly. "Do you... wanna be alone for a little while?" Daria asked her sister. "Yeah. Just... I trusted him, Daria. I trusted Kol," Stacey said.

"Yeah. He, uh, definitely had us fooled there for a while, didn't he?" Daria asked her sister in response as she leaned against the open doorway. "I mean, he even managed to fool Quinn," Daria added. "I guess he did," Stacey conceded with a sigh. "Hey, tomorrow... why don't we work on that robot thing that you've been putting off? You know, that thing Andrea gave you," Daria suggested.

"You... want to help me with it?" Stacey asked her sister. "Yeah, I... I figure it might be something we could do together. You know, some sisterly bonding, I guess? If you don't want to, I understand," Daria said. "No, no, I... I think I'd like that. Can we order some take-out, though?" Stacey asked her.

"What kind?" Daria asked her. "Mm, I dunno. I've heard that Pizza Empire has a delivery service," Stacey said. Daria smiled at her sister. "You know? I think that they do. So, tomorrow, just me and you, working on an alien robot together," Daria said. "Yeah. I'd like that," Stacey said. "Good. So, uh, see you tomorrow then," Daria said as she left her sister's room.

She made her way over to her own bedroom and pulled out her cell-phone. Dialing Jane's number, she waited for her friend to pick up. " _Hey, what's up?_ " Jane asked on the other end.

"Not much," Daria said as she flopped down on her bed. " _Still trying to wash the taste of metal out of your mouth?_ " Jane asked with a snicker. "Jane, I swear. If you tell anyone that my first kiss was taken by a robot, I will make sure that no one ever finds your body," Daria warned. " _Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, Daria. No one will ever know about your forbidden tryst,_ " Jane said jokingly.

* * *

 **At Casa Lane**

" _Jane,_ " Daria growled over the phone. "Relax! It's not like I have any photographic evidence to prove that it happened," Jane said with a grin as she stepped back away from her easel and stopped to admire her progress. Standing back and holding her brush to the side, Jane admired her newest work, showing a humanoid robot holding a human woman in a romantic embrace against the backdrop of fire. "No evidence at all," Jane said with a smirk.

* * *

Ending Theme: Love Is A Lie, by Lion

* * *

Author's Note: And there you have it; the end of the Kol Arc. I'm gonna start working on a new Zootopia fanfic for the duration of the next couple of weeks before I start working on Invader Quinn Season Three again. Until next time...


End file.
